We’re back in the studio (and yes, the chairs are dangerously comfy) to celebrate nearly a year of To Be A Boy. From Ruth Whippman’s eye-opening research on raising boys, to Lenore Skenazy convincing us to let kids roam free, to John Amaechi’s powerful truths about identity, we’re unpacking the moments that made us laugh, cry, and rethink everything. Plus, a shout-out to Josh—the 14-year-old genius who might just save masculinity. Join us for highlights, surprises, and a little festive chaos as we look ahead to what’s next.
Thanks for a wonderful year, wonderful listeners!
What does it take to raise a brilliant boy with autism in a world full of stigma, systemic hurdles, and cultural misconceptions? In this episode, childcare lawyer and super-mum Deborah Otubambo shares her 21-year journey of advocacy, resilience, and hope whilst raising a son with autism.
From the early days of confusion and cultural stigma to navigating the complex world of EHCPs and education, Deborah shares what it really takes to advocate for your child against systemic hurdles. She talks candidly about the emotional toll, the misconceptions she faced, and how her perspective on diagnosis evolved over time. This conversation is a raw and hopeful look at resilience, community, and redefining success for families of children with special educational needs.Some notes for you:
The number of cases brought to tribunal that are successful is actually 98%: https://www.specialneedsjungle.com/55-rise-2024-send-tribunal-appeals-cost-families-incalculable/Costs can vary wildly - and unless you get legal aid then it can cost up to £20,000 to take this action.
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
https://www.ipsea.org.uk
What does it mean to grow up as a boy today? Spoiler: It’s not all football and moonwalks anymore.
In this episode of To Be A Boy, Joeli and Elliott sit down with Lee Chambers, psychologist, and founder of Male Allies UK, and all-around champion for modern masculinity. They are unpacking a report that’s both eye-opening and alarming - although there is some hope mixed in too!
From boys feeling unheard and disconnected to the rise of AI “girlfriends”, Lee takes us inside the minds of the next generation and asks: what happens when adolescence collides with algorithms and what can we do as allies?
In this episode of To Be a Boy, our Elliott and Joeli are getting stuck into the fascinating (and occasionally sobering) world of modern masculinity. Joined by Joe Hall from Channel 4 and Fergus Navaratnam-Blair from the National Research Group, we’re unpacking the findings of the Mirror on Masculinities report. From why a third of men rarely see the kind of bloke they aspire to be in advertising, to why Angry Ginge streaming FIFA might be more relatable than Johnny Depp flogging aftershave, this episode is getting intoit.
Expect some eyebrow-raising stats and plenty of insights as we tackle everything from the rise of Twitch streamers as role models to the curious concept of “masculinity vertigo.”
Joeli and Elliott are joined by the inimitable Cindy Gallop to discuss her ground breaking work with Make Love Not Porn, addressing the impact of pornography on societal expectations and relationships. She describes the importance of open conversations about sex and love, particularly in educating children and young adults and the amazing results she’s seen as a direct result of her work. They also touch on the challenges of funding and support for sex education initiatives, the decline of intimacy among young people, and the need for a cultural shift in how we talk about sex and relationships.
Be warned – this is a no holds barred conversation with swearing et al.
Please do check out the BRILLIANT Make Love Not Porn Academy here: https://www.makelovenotporn.academy/and the change.org campaign here: https://www.change.org/p/calling-for-fair-visibility-for-all-on-linkedin\
Let’s spread the word about this amazing and vital work for men, boys, women and girls.
Joeli and Elliott are taking us through THAT Chanté Joseph Vogue article and asking if and why it’s uncool to have a boyfriend…
This episode explores the complexities of modern relationships, the impact of social media, and the evolving roles of men and women. We’re also tackling topics like heterofatalism, the trad wife movement, and the balance of unpaid labour: all in a day’s work.
In this episode, Elliott Rae and Joeli Brearley are joinedby their favourite guest-slash-interrogator, producer Kaley Botting, for a freewheeling chat spanning everything from International Men’s Day to the emotional fallout of the John Lewis Christmas ad.
Expect reflections on parenting, gender disappointment, and why brunch raves might just be the salvation of middle-aged joy-seekers. Also: Elliott tries to swap children,Joeli cries over retail marketing, and Kaley’s mum’s WhatsApp group makes a surprise cameo. And just when you think it couldn’t get more profound, they end with a dad joke showdown that may or may not involve ChatGPT. (Spoiler: it does.)
Joeli and Elliott sit down with, yes you heard us right, John Amaechi to talk all things sports, identity and masculinity, emphasizing the importance of emotional intelligence and intimacy among men. John reflects on his experiences as a latecomer to basketball and how it shaped his understanding of masculinity.
They also roll up their sleeves and delve into the societal pressures surrounding masculinity, the need for empathy, and the responsibility of parents and coaches in nurturing healthy relationships. John advocates for a redefinition of masculinity that embraces vulnerability and connection, urging listeners to foster environments where boys can express their emotions freely and develop meaningful relationships: it's right up our street.
In this episode of To Be A Boy, Elliott Rae and Joeli Brearley sit down with Richard Reeves—author of Of Boys and Men and chair of the UK’s Centre for Policy Research on Boys and Men—for a candid, compassionate conversation about the challenges facing boys and young men today.
Together, they explore how schools can better support boys, why male role models matter, and how masculinity can be reimagined without shame or stereotype. Whether you're a parent, educator, policymaker, or simply curious about gender equality, this episode offers a refreshing and nuanced take on what it means to grow up male in today’s world.
If he's good enough for Obama, he's good enough for TBAB!
In this episode, Joeli, Elliott, and Producer Kaley havetheir first ‘Questions with Kaley’ session.
The TBAB team explore the concept of 'the ick' in dating, the importance of emotional support in relationships, and the impact of paternity leave on family dynamics. Joeli passes on some cracking advice about future proofing the dynamic with a Dad and Elliott reveals his Good Man ofmusic, and MORE people!
In this heartfelt and thought-provoking episode of To BeA Boy, Joeli and Elliott are joined by the brilliant SarahOckwell-Smith, one of the UK’s leading parenting experts and bestselling author of The Gentle Parenting Book and How to Raise a Teen.
Together, they dive deep into the challenges and misconceptions surrounding modern boyhood, masculinity, and parenting, with Sarah offering rich insights from her decades of experience and her upcoming book How to Raise a Gentle Man. The trio explore how we can better support boys with an emphasis on birth through adolescence, challenging stereotypes and championing emotional intelligence, empathy, and authentic self-expression. You.will.learn.a.lot!
In this episode Joeli and Elliott speak with Dr. Alex Blowerto dive into the uphill battle faced by working-class boys in education—think less Hogwarts, more hurdles. From aspiration gaps to the masculinity myths messing with motivation, he shares insights, stories, and a few reality checks. It’s time to rethink how we support boys in the classroom.
Join us live from the phenomenal Working Dads’ Summit! In To Be A Boy’s first live recording, Joeli faces a grilling from Elliott. They explore the impact of the motherhood penalty, the importance of parental leave, co-parenting, and the role of support networks for working parents.
As per usual, get in touch with your thoughts and questionsat tobeaboyteam@gmail.com
From body image and the pressure to provide, to violence, vulnerability and viral masculinity myths—this episode dives deep into the challenges boys face and how we can support them. Elliott and Joeli chat with Dan Guinness and Ben Hurst from Beyond Equality about what it means to be a boy today. Expect wisdom, warmth, and a few laughs along the way.
In this powerful and practical episode, Joeli and Elliott sit down with parenting coach and founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, Tosha Schore, to tackle one of the toughest topics: aggression in boys.
From meltdowns and morning chaos to verbal outbursts and sibling clashes, Tosha shares compassionate, connection-based strategies for helping boys manage big feelings—without shame, blame or punishment. Expect real talk, relatable stories, and tips you can use today (including the surprisingly effective “drop to the floor” method).
---------------
parentingboyspeacefully.com/OWA
We’re back! Joeli and Elliott catch up after summer, swap stories about Welsh golf buggies and nudist beaches, and reflect on the emotional rollercoaster of raising boys and returning to school, expect a few tears. Joeli shares her new venture, GrowthSpurt, and Elliott previews the world’s first Working Dads Summit. Plus, a sneak peek at the incredible guests lined up for Series 3, including Richard Reeves, John Amaechi, and Beyond Equality.
—----------------------------
GrowthSpurt www.growth-spurt.uk
Working Dads Summit www.workingdadssummit.com
Parenting Out Loud on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/company/parenting-out-loud
Health educator and author Christopher Pepper joins Joeli and Elliott to talk puberty, masculinity, gaming, anger, love, and what to do when your son might be Googling “how to get bigger muscles.” From emotional literacy to ethical decision-making, this episode is packed with practical advice, heartfelt stories, and laughs for anyone raising boys in today’s world.
-----------------
www.laurahenryallain.com/news/my-skin-your-skin/
In this warm, funny, and deeply insightful episode, Joeli and Elliott are joined by author and boy-mum extraordinaire Uju Asika, whose latest book Raising Boys Who Do Better is a hopeful guide for parenting boys in today’s complex world. From cuddles and culture clashes to clitoris conversations and pickled onion Monster Munch, this episode dives into the joys and challenges of raising boys with kindness, clarity, and a whole lot of humour.
------------------------
Joeli and Elliott are joined by Owen Thomas and Chris Stein from Future Men to explore how we can better support boys in today’s world. From redefining masculinity and tackling stereotypes to practical tools for parents and educators, this episode is packed with insight, humour, and hope.
----------------------------
Dr. Michele Borba joins Elliott and Joeli to explore why boys today are more anxious, lonely, and stressed—and what parents can do to help. From bedtime chats to ukulele therapy, this episode is packed with practical tips, heartfelt stories, and a few laughs. Discover how small acts (like a Post-it note) can make a big impact.