Host David reads from his novel, Love Sick Love, to explore complex male behavior. He coins "Lustance," describing the confusing mix of lust and romance, and warns that willpower alone fails against sexual addiction, urging men to seek help instead of surrendering. He cautions against "fighting to the conclusion" in harmful pursuits, stressing that determination is only admirable if the goal doesn't cause broken hearts and fractured relationships. He calls for men to step up and be better. He highlights the difference between destructive worldly sorrow and godly sorrow which leads to repentance. Drawing on therapy and scripture, he explains how acknowledging shame can drive positive change, encouraging other men to seek freedom from addiction and secrets by walking in the light. Podcasts I'm listening to these days. Today on Radio with Dr Charles Stanley Undeceptions The Unplayable podcast (cricket) The Point of Purity (The Purity Coach) Pure Desire (Pure Desire Ministries) Christian Podcast for Men (Real Men Connect)

Host David discusses courage, defining it as acting despite fear, and shares his experience using vulnerability to overcome shame related to past sexual misconduct. He highlights the difference between destructive worldly sorrow and godly sorrow which leads to repentance. Drawing on therapy and scripture, he explains how acknowledging shame can drive positive change, encouraging other men to seek freedom from addiction and secrets by walking in the light. Podcasts I'm listening to these days. Today on Radio with Dr Charles Stanley Undeceptions The Unplayable podcast (cricket) The Point of Purity (The Purity Coach) Pure Desire (Pure Desire Ministries) Christian Podcast for Men (Real Men Connect)

In "X Why Explained #28," David explores why it's tough to remain friends with an ex, stating that sex creates a bond. He then argues that expectations are the root of relationship problems, urging men to communicate their needs and listen to their partner's. Finally, while leaving a marriage may be necessary, he challenges listeners to consider if they've truly done everything to reconcile first.

When conflict arises, it's easy to let arguments escalate, but exhibiting self-control means putting the "fire" out immediately. People can feel invisible and ignored, but we shouldn't intentionally choose the darkness of hiding; instead, choose the light and "see" others. Lastly, using euphemisms like a "dalliance" to minimize a wrong like cheating is simply being dishonest.

Host David dissects the flimsy excuse of "I’m Bored Again" for bad online behavior, then discusses webcam models, urging men to view them as someone's daughter to break the cycle of objectification. He critiques the materialistic view of people as just "potential clients" based on utility. Finally, he addresses the shame of addiction, likening it to a "dog returning to its vomit" (Proverbs 26:11), offering Romans 8:1 as the Christian antidote to self-condemnation. The overall goal is to induce sorrow deep enough to lead to recovery.

In the podcast episode "X Why Explained #25," host David's core message is about the importance of communication. He argues that bottling up thoughts is harmful and that sharing them, even if difficult, is crucial. He also addresses emotional manipulation, suggesting men need a strategy to handle it. A key piece of advice is for couples to write down and discuss their expectations, which he sees as the root of many marital problems. The episode concludes by noting that relationships don't fail overnight; they experience a "slow fade."

This podcast episode explores how problems in a marriage, like infidelity and a lack of communication, can cause a spouse to feel dread about coming home. It also discusses how romantic love can be fleeting and highlights the danger of ignoring problems until they become too big to handle.

In this episode of "X Why Explained," host David discusses his journey out of pornography addiction. He explains that addiction is a "familiar tightrope" and a cycle of hurting and shame, requiring an addict to first admit they have a problem. He also touches on how men often communicate, and how a comfortable silence with a partner is a positive sign. Finally, he shares how his Christian faith helped him overcome his struggles.

I’m guessing you’re here because you want some answers. Either that or you’re just curious. If you’re curious, you’ll quickly get an idea of what kind of podcast this is and you’ll decided if its your cup of tea or not. I know there’s lot of competition for people’s ears and eyes. If you’re hearing looking for answers, I’m going to have to ask you to keep an open mind. I should also warn you that some of the content in this podcast may be triggering. You’ve got a problem. You know it and now that you’ve admitted it to yourself, it’s time to take the next step. Problems need to be solved, right?

I’m just trying to help. I reckon there are a lot of men who are really struggling with various sexual issues and they are fighting their battles alone. Maybe that’s you. I get it. The double life. The things you do in secret, hoping no one ever finds out. The shame. The cycle of addiction. I understand you. I’m not just saying it., I’ve experienced it. I’m here to help.   This is how I roll on X Why Explained. I read from my book Love Sick Love which is a novel I wrote during the end of my marriage. Then I pull out some interesting lines and I get into the weeds little.

Maybe, you’re the bloke who’s depressed. Maybe it’s a friend of yours. Maybe a work mate. There’s only one way out of the dark pit. Look up if you can and ask for help, or each and pull someone up. I’ve had so very low times but I cant say I’ve ever suffered depression, but I acknowledge it as a debilitating condition and as much as I can, I want t be a part f the solution. This is a worthy goal as a man. Why not make it yours?

Even though, we all want it to be simple, life is complicated. And life is mostly about relationships, the good, the bad and the ugly. X Why Explained podcast is here to help and the first step to solving a problem is identifying it. Know your enemy. How many of you know you have enemies? Unseen enemies. Let’s get into it. I’m going to read a bit from my novel, Love Sick Love, then talk about some of the issues that come up.

Even though, we all want it to be simple, life is complicated. And life is mostly about relationships, the good, the bad and the ugly. X Why Explained podcast is here to help and the first step to solving a problem is identifying it. Know your enemy. How many of you know you have enemies? Unseen enemies. Let’s get into it. I’m going to read a bit from my novel, Love Sick Love, then talk about some of the issues that come up.

Author D.A.Cairns reads from his novel Love Sick Love and discusses some important issues relating to sex and relationships.

G’day. My name’s David. Thanks for joining me. I’m going to read to you from my novel Love Sick Love, then I’m going to talk to you about some of the stuff that comes up. Love Sick Love is fiction. It is not a true story, but it could be. It could be your story.

In each episode of X Why Explained author D.A. Cairns aims to bring truth and light to men in the arena of sex and relationships, bringing challenging insights designed to help healing and wholeness in this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast. (30 seconds)

Special Good Friday episode. Usually, I read to you from my novel, Love Sick Love, but today I want to step back a bit and tell you a little of my story. Where did the novel come from? Where did this podcast come from? What’s underpinning it all? If you only ever listen to one episode of X Why Explained, make sure it’s this one.

X Why Explained is a podcast which aims to bring truth, light, and understanding to men in the arena of sex and relationships. In each episode author D.A. Cairns will bring challenging insights designed to help bring healing and wholeness to this area of manhood which for many men is characterised by dysfunction, pain, and shame. If you’re a man who doesn’t understand his behaviour or a woman who doesn’t understand the behaviour of men, you’ve picked the right podcast.

Two years divorced and she still won’t talk to me. I have accepted responsibility for what I did, but my ex has not. In her eyes, she is the perpetual victim and I am the everlasting villain. It was fun while it lasted If you like the kind of fun which is laced with anxiety and guilt. Call it fun if you like, but if you’ve had an affair, think about...was it really?

X Why Explained is about turning the lights on, speaking truth, breaking addiction.