我們的人生,離不開生活,我們的生活,又離不開愛,所以,愛是我們一切的源頭。為了實踐愛,我們要謙虛,修正自己,愛自己,我們要感恩身邊的每一件人、事、物,然後,我們更要感謝宇宙與天地的加持。
在愛的世界裡,我們要有十足的自信與信心,我們有極豐富的想像力,且相信「心想事成」,我們更有相當的勇氣,付諸每一個行動。因著愛,我們不會辜負我們的生活,我們的人生的。
這個「愛、生活、人生系列」的播客,是一連串的分享會,從第一集到往後的無數集,我將分享好多人生的故事,生活的故事,和愛的故事。但願這些美好的故事,是你、我行動力的靈感,生活的泉源,與生命的助力,就讓我們大家,一起隨我來吧!
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我們的人生,離不開生活,我們的生活,又離不開愛,所以,愛是我們一切的源頭。為了實踐愛,我們要謙虛,修正自己,愛自己,我們要感恩身邊的每一件人、事、物,然後,我們更要感謝宇宙與天地的加持。
在愛的世界裡,我們要有十足的自信與信心,我們有極豐富的想像力,且相信「心想事成」,我們更有相當的勇氣,付諸每一個行動。因著愛,我們不會辜負我們的生活,我們的人生的。
這個「愛、生活、人生系列」的播客,是一連串的分享會,從第一集到往後的無數集,我將分享好多人生的故事,生活的故事,和愛的故事。但願這些美好的故事,是你、我行動力的靈感,生活的泉源,與生命的助力,就讓我們大家,一起隨我來吧!
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愛的實踐
《愛的藝術》是埃里希.佛洛姆 (Erich Fromm)在1956年出版的書。佛洛姆這本書最大的論點,即愛是一種能力,一種信仰、紀律、專注、耐性和練習的能力。佛洛姆認為,愛是一門藝術,需要知識和努力,愛不僅是愉悅的感受,更是兩個具有愛的能力的人,努力製造出來的。成熟的愛,是在保有自己完整的前提下,再主動去愛別人的力量。是在給予的行為中,感受到自己的強壯與豐饒。「施」之所以比「受」讓人更快樂,不是因為那是一種剝奪,而是因為「給予的行為」,是在表現我們自己蓬勃的生命力。當我們把自己生命裏活生生的東西給予出去時,我們同時把我們的喜悅、我們的興趣、我們的了解、我們的知識、我們的幽默,和我們的憂愁給出去,,那麼,我們便增強了自己的生命感,也擴大了他人的生命感。愛是一種喚起愛的能力,當我們努力去愛時,我們才會明白真正的愛,然後,才會體察到我們也正接受他人的愛。正如同我們信任,所以明白信任的必要,然後,才能感受到信任隨之而來的責任和能力。又如,因為我們具備藝術的修養,所以去欣賞藝術,然後,我們才感受到藝術帶來的樂趣。當我們努力去愛,然後感受到愛的那一刻,我們就可以清楚地知道,我們正在以正確的方式去愛。佛洛姆提到,愛的基本元素是:照顧、責任、尊重和了解,它們是所有愛的形式共有的特質。愛是我們對所愛者的生命及其成長的積極照顧。例如,因為我們愛著那棵玫瑰,我們日夜看顧澆注,對保護玫瑰產生了責任感,玫瑰便成為我們最珍貴的花。愛裏也要有尊重,因為我們尊重,所以我們讓玫瑰以自己的方式,而不是符合我們需要的方式成長。然後,以愛和照顧為動機的責任,再去尊重,是最超越和最深層的了解。
佛洛姆也強調母愛的重要。母愛是無條件的,它不需要被贏得,也不能被獲取、被創造和被控制。如果母愛存在,我們就是處在至福之中;如果母愛不存在,生活就失去一切美好。母愛有兩個層次,其一是照顧和責任,是保護小孩生命與成長的必須。另一個層次是態度,母愛會在小孩心中灌注對待生命的態度,讓他們覺得活著真好。自愛,是肯定自己生命的快樂、成長與自由,它植根於我們的愛的能力,及我們對自己的尊重、負責和了解。男女愛、兄弟愛,也都要先自愛,然後,再出自意志的行為,決心把自己對待生命的態度,委身給另一個人,或奉獻給親朋好友。最後,對神的愛,既不是在思想上了解上帝,也不是心中存有愛上帝的意念,而是與上帝合一的體驗。因為,上帝是人類的究極目標,所以,我們應當活出神的樣貌,在生活中的一切行為,全都要按照正義的原則,與神同在。
佛洛姆在書中說,愛最重要的是「愛的實踐」,愛是動詞,不是名詞,不是光說不練,而是要實際採取行動。愛的首要條件是自律,因著相信愛,我們要主動地、自律地去練習自愛與愛人。其次是要專注,花時間專注,就是愛。第三個條件是耐心,即使慢,即使看不見成果,我們也要表現愛。第四個條件是態度,我們要把整個生活的態度,都奉獻給愛。我們要練習實踐自律,學習專注,學習獨處,認真傾聽對方,全然活在當下,耐性地了解和接納自己與他人。最後,愛最需要的是信仰和勇氣,我們要有去冒險的能力,隨時準備好接受痛苦和失望。我們要能夠有勇氣的愛和被愛,要把生活中的種種困難、挫折與傷痛,看作可讓我們得到愛的挑戰。去愛,意謂著我們可能得不到任何好處,卻要把自己完全的給出去,但我們也會在被愛者的身上喚起愛,再將愛回饋給我們。佛洛姆盼望,我們都可以成為能愛人的人,有信仰,勇氣,自律,專注,耐心,獨立,了解,尊重,投入與責任。
佛洛姆的「愛的實踐」,說穿了,就是宇宙的法則。在宇宙中,愛是一種力量、一種振波及一種能源。愛是宇宙的法則。愛就是神,神就是愛,我們在世界上每個重大的事件,都是神刻意的愛的安排,萬物絕對沒有巧合和偶然,一切的發生,都是互相聯繫、制約與相連的。雖然,我們所了解的振波、能量,只限於可見光、X光、紅外線、紫外線……等等。但其實,我們的情感和思想,同樣是宇宙的振波,只是頻率與振動不同而已。宇宙擁有最高級而完美的振波,那就是愛的法則,愛是無緣大慈,同體大悲。所以,當我們選擇無私的去愛人時,一股源源不絕的能量,會從我們的心中湧出,滋潤和活化我們的身體。我們的身體本身,就是一個能量系統,當我們與他人接觸和交流時,我們是透過能量的放送,來做溝通的。我們愛的能量,會從我們的心輪散發出去,朝向我們所愛的人,及與我們關聯的人身上。我們越愛人,我們內心產生出來的能量就越多,我們的身體,也就會越健康與和諧。而且,被我們愛的人,也同樣能從我們釋放出來的愛的能量中,獲得很大的益處。因此,我們每天都要練習愛的能力,那是很重要的。如果我們能夠時時記住,我們是生命與愛的無窮泉源,那麼,這整個宇宙,就會永遠快樂、美好。愛是我們每個人非常切實可行且有益的選擇,因著愛,我們的世界與生命,將會獲得永恆的健康、和諧與繁榮。
對別人要樂觀其成,對自己要非常努力
對別人做的事,我們要樂觀其成。在這個世界上,我們每個人都是獨一無二的,我們每個人都擁有不同的背景、價值觀和生活經驗。雖然我們無法改變別人,但我們可以選擇如何對待別人,那就是尊重別人。尊重別人,就是敬重對方的觀點與感受,並能肯定對方的能力與內在特質。尊重是可以學習的。心理學家霍勒曼(Holloman)與耶茨(Yates)歸納出以下表達尊重的語彙:
1. 鼓勵的語彙
2. 寬容的語彙
3. 表達對對方的理解
4. 表達重視彼此的觀點
尊重,是一種美德,也是一種智慧,它不僅能讓我們獲得良好的人際關係,也能讓我們在這個世界上,活得自在與快樂。尊重並不代表毫無原則地迎合對方,而是發自內心地接納別人的獨特性。我們每個人都有自己的想法和選擇,這些選擇或許與別人不同,但並不代表是錯的。而且,我們也不該因為別人的選擇與我們不同,就對其加以批判或貶低,而是要試著去理解,甚至學習如何包容不同的聲音。真正強大的人,並不是批評別人,來突顯自己的優越的,而是懂得尊重每一個人。在職場上,領導者如果能夠尊重員工的意見,傾聽不同的聲音,他的團隊往往會有凝聚力,員工也會更願意為公司付出。同樣地,在家庭關係中,若夫妻、家人之間,能夠彼此互相尊重,而不是一味地要求對方,按照自己的方式做事,那麼,家庭生活也會更加和諧。
當然,面對親人或朋友,特別是和我們關係密切的人,我們自然會很在意對方的想法或心情。其實,關係愈緊密,我們愈需要學習理解。理解,意味著尊重別人因其生活經驗,所形塑的價值觀、想法或做法,及衍生的情緒感受。理解,不需帶著評價,也無所謂好壞或對錯。在人際關係上,本來就是彼此互相的,自己做好是應該,但是,不要用自己的標準來要求、衡量別人。每個人都有自己的優缺點,只是差異不同,不論我們外在有多謙恭有禮、光鮮亮麗、或品學兼優,甚至在朋友面前,有多隨和、脾氣好,但我們總是有弱點的時候,與其想要改變別人,不如先改變自己,接納包容別人。對於別人做的事情,我們就是要樂觀其成,要讚嘆、喜樂,感恩歡愉才是。
再者,我們要對自己非常努力。生活從來不會辜負每一個努力的人。當我們越努力時,我們就會變得越幸運。我們要在自己人生的道路上,一直努力奔跑,變成自己喜歡的樣子,擁有自己想要的美好生活。我們要讓努力感動自己,讓努力遇見更好的自己。牛頓說:「無論任何事情,只要肯努力,沒有不成功的。」生活不會辜負每一個努力的人,那些轉錯的彎道,孤獨的夜晚,滴下的汗水,都會讓我們成為獨一無二。只要我們對某個東西有追求,一直在不斷地追求,不斷的努力,並為之付出代價,總是會有回報的,這回報有時來得快,有時得到得晚,但請耐心等待,成功之花,一定會為我們而開的。一個真正努力的人,是有執行力的人,他/她懂得掌握自己的工作量,制定如期完成的計畫和策略,發揮高度的時間管理,並有效率地達成目的。所有的事情,都取決於我們的選擇。在人生的旅程中,我們經常面臨各種各樣的選擇。這些選擇,不僅影響我們的生活質量,更決定我們成為什麼樣的人。「選擇,是一種力量,也是一種責任。」我們每天都在做選擇,從生活中的小事,到人生中的大事,無時無刻,我們都在選擇。而這些選擇,決定了我們未來的方向和高度。既然選擇了,我們就要有決心和態度,努力地盡全力付出與達成。我們要勇敢的去想像,很努力地把我們的選擇具象化,寫下來、畫下來,變成長期計畫,把長期計畫,再分割為中、短期細項。每天,我們都要為自己做一些行動,勇往直前,不要後悔,努力達成目標,無怨無悔地,開心完成每一件事。無論大事、小事,一旦選擇,我們就把它當作唯一,帶著微笑的勇氣,盡我們自己最大的努力去實踐。生活不會辜負每一個努力的人,我們要讓努力感動自己,讓努力遇見更好的自己。
心之所向Following My Heart
我心心念念的事是,我要有一間屬於我自己的舞蹈教室。
There are two ways of determining if we are “following our hearts.” The first way is whether we are following the desires that our hearts are calling us or
not, and the second one is if we are living in our hearts. In other words, one is about the actions we are taking, and the other is more about we are the exact persons. Doing what we love means that we have to listen to our intuition, and take actions to follow our passions to the world without fear.
Our society today is driven by our minds, our fears and our ego. We do not place as much value and emphasis on passion, love, fulfilment and spiritual purpose. Rather, it is about external success, money, security, stability and reputation. As a result, many of us do not feel it is that important to really tune in to our hearts and hear what they want. This is the reason why when we attempt to start following our hearts, we cannot do what we desire. In fact, our hearts’ desires may not have an initial guarantee of income, or it may require a pay cut. It may mean that we have to go against what our family wants for us, or what our friends expect of us. We, certainly, come across some people, all the time, who have these amazing, beautiful dreams and desires, but they suppress and ignore them and tell themselves that they never have them. For most people, it is much easier to live in denial than actually face what they really want. They would rather pretend that they are happy with what they have, and justify to themselves that their inner dreams are not so important anyway.
To get started, we must begin by finding the courage to discover what our hearts want. We may experience feelings of confusion, self-doubt and even regret what we do in the first beginning. It’s OK. It is time for each of us to wake up, and connect with what we surly want. In order to do this, we have to be willing to do things differently, and to challenge the expectations that others hold of us. Our hearts, in reality, are connected to something larger. We might call it Spirit, the Unconscious, God, Higher-self, or the Universe. When we follow our hearts more, and our minds see the results, the integration naturally occurs. We’ve probably seen others follow their hearts. It looks good, but, on the contrary, we doubt our own abilities. They must have some kinds of magical abilities, right? No. They’ve simply experimented a bit more. They aren’t fearless. They just take things one day at a time, and one step at a day. They do feel fear, overwhelm, and confusion, just like everyone else. The difference is that they have developed the trust in themselves. One of the main ways that we can follow our hearts is by noticing our feelings. Those feelings come with peace and encouragement. They are enduring. The more we follow our hearts, the better we get at it. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about learning and discovering how our hearts communicate with us. We can say that courage is not the absence of fear, but the decision to act in spite of it. It’s about stepping into the unknown, armed with the belief in ourselves and the conviction that the journey is worth embarking on. Courage, yet, involves embracing vulnerability, and being open to the possibility of failure, criticism, or disappointment, but choosing to move forward because the potential for growth and fulfillment outweighs the fear of what we might go wrong.
Sooner or later, I will find an ideal dance space near “Kaohsiung Cultural Center,” where parking cars won’t be the problem. We all know that injury prevention is essential for dancers at every skill level, and having the right equipment can significantly reduce the risk of accidents and long-term damage. Therefore, the key components, such as a properly installed dance floor, well-positioned ballet barres and shatterproof mirrors, certainly, create a safer and more effective dance environment. In my dance space, the high-quality dance floor is necessary for safe dance practices. Ballet barres are a required equipment, too, that provides stability and balance during warm-ups, stretches and strength training. The excellent ballet barre, indeed, ensures that our dancers can engage in low-impact training safely. Besides, mirrors are another critical element in my dance space. For dancers, observing posture is really vital for correcting movements and avoiding injury from improper techniques. Wall-mounted mirrors are commonly found in my dance space, while portable mirrors provide a flexible solution for extra usage. These mirrors are lightweight, making the dancers in my space easy to move and adjust them with wheels.
Dance is an art form that requires skill, talent, and dedication to master. The role of a dance teacher is just as important as that of a dancer, and it takes a unique set of skills and expertise to teach dance effectively. Of course, the first and most obvious requirement for a dance teacher is a strong mastery of dance technique. A dance teacher must be able to perform the movements they’re teaching with precision, clarity, and style. In addition to dance technique mastery, a dance teacher also need to have teaching expertise, including how to communicate effectively with students, how to break down movements into manageable steps, and how to provide constructive feedback and corrections. They are also able to adapt their teaching styles to the needs of individual students, whether they’re beginners or advanced dancers. Definitely, becoming a professional and successful dance instructor requires more than just technical expertise in dance. They should be adaptable and are able to modify their teaching approaches to cater to different styles and levels. All in all, in my dance space, our great dance instructors will teach skilled dance techniques to students, and will inspire, motivate, and cultivate a love for dance in their students. As Martha Graham, the mother of modern dance, once said, “Dance is the hidden language of the soul,” I will follow my heart to imagine that our dance instructors and the students will practice together on a journey of self-expression, creativity, and growth in my dedicated dance space soon.
生死何去何從
根據能量守恆定律,能量不會無故生成,也不能無故摧毀,它只能以不同的形式,轉化存在。也就是說,在巨觀中的「滅」,其實是另一種形式的「存續」,人體分解,正是遵循著宇宙這樣的法則在運轉。「塵歸塵,土歸土」,宇宙萬物,都是分解、腐敗,然後,我們讓身體與周遭環境,融為一體,原本存在於我們體內的物質,也同時滋養其他生命的成長。試觀,我們每個人,都有過去,生命絕對不是突然產生與滅亡的。那麼,我們的生命,究竟從何而來?將往何處去呢?生命的過去,就是我們每個人的歷史,從小學、中學到大學,每個階段,都有歷史,如果我們知道自己生命的歷史,我們就能知曉生命的價值,而生命的價值,也不光是生命的過去,更是生命的未來。我們人的一期生命,不過數十寒暑,當生命結束後,我們要往何處去轉生呢?換句話說,我們這個形體消滅了,是否又有另一個形體復活呢?死亡是否就是投胎轉世,到其它地方繼續生長,所以才叫往生呢?據說,人的「生」與「死」,在宇宙中,就如同「冰」和「水」的互相轉遞一樣,水可以凝結成冰,冰也可以溶化成水;我們死了以後,是可以再生,生了之後,還是會死的;生生死死,死死生生,在生死輪轉之中,我們的生命,絕對是可以永遠不死的。因為,耶穌基督說:「信上帝者,得永生。」人的生命,應該都是永生的。
如果知道生命是永生的,那麼,我們就要修心養性、立功立德才對啊!任何人都有生老病死,我們對生則喜,歡慶祝福,面臨老死時,卻都驚惶、恐怖,此乃皆是常情。可是,生老病死,是人生必經的歷程,生固然可喜,老病死也未必可悲?如同一年當中,季節的變換,寒暑的更替,舊的一年過去,新的一年又開始,生命的延續,應該也是如此的啊!因此,我們可以不必害怕死亡,因為,死亡是生死流轉的自然現象。其實,人一出生,死亡就跟著我們了,死亡是隨時都在我們身邊的。生的時候,我們都想要有尊嚴,死的時候,我們更需要尊嚴。所以,死者臨終時,我們不要呼天搶地,要給死者有尊嚴,祈禱他們離去時,能到達更高的靈性層級。身體是載具,衰敗滅亡後,靈魂還會繼續存在。我們要在自己生前時,時刻培養內心心靈的聖火,我們也要在送別親朋好友的最後一程時,祈禱、祈求他們的靈魂,安詳地、無有恐懼地,接受神聖的愛與光,回到宇宙大地的懷抱。
平常,我們就要好好守住自己的心靈,因為,我們的心靈,就是我們的靈魂,生生不滅的。對於臨終前的告別,我們要以「感恩您,謝謝您」的心情,祈願死者能功德圓滿,死而無憾。法鼓山聖嚴法師說:「能生,則必須求生,非死不可,則當歡喜接受;感恩生存,感謝死亡。」在生命結束時,我們生前擁有的財產、名利,全都帶不走,真正可以帶走的,就是我們的慈悲心、智慧心和有功德的生命。想要「善終」,我們必先「善生」。真正的愛,是讓我們愛的人,沒有煩惱,被我們愛的人,沒有痛苦。以愛為中心來分享,內心就平安,我們就能適時放手,表現真愛。慈悲和智慧,是一體的兩面,有智慧的人,其內心世界,常能保持平靜、清楚、明白,不受環境困擾,還能關懷他人,這是慈悲心。我們在世,更要積極、正向地看待自己,學習開放自己的胸懷和心靈,善待別人,培育我們內心更多的慈悲。當我們仁慈地對待自己,體恤別人時,無論是生、是死,都會帶給我們無限的喜悅和快樂。生死相續相生,我們祈盼著,臨終有人陪伴,平時扮演好自己的角色,孝順父母、教養子女,認真活在當下,真誠擁抱生命,並坦然面對老病,這樣,我們才能很自在地迎接死亡,永續經營來生。
Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish求知若飢,虛心若愚
“Stay hungry, stay foolish (求知若飢,虛心若愚)” 這句話是蘋果公司創辦人賈伯斯(Steve Jobs),在2005年史丹佛大學的畢業典禮演講時的結語。賈伯斯用hungry,是要我們保持渴望追求目標的動力及熱情,就像對成功的飢餓一樣,永遠不要滿足於當下,要有飢餓的態度和行動。不管做什麼事,我們都要把自己當個傻子foolish,不要為自己設限,要一直行動下去,要求知若飢,虛心若愚,順從自己的感覺,放心去做就對了。賈伯斯強調,對工作的熱愛,是人生中最大的動力,即使在挫折面前,也不要失去信心,要堅持找到自己熱愛的事物。生命短暫,我們要讓每一天,都過得有意義。我們要不斷地學習與成長,保持對知識的強烈渴求,就像飢餓時想吃飯一樣。我們要勇於突破自己,保持飢餓感,持續前進。再者,我們也要像電影「阿甘正傳」的主角一樣,不要害怕失敗或被嘲笑,要勇敢地嘗試新事物。因為愚蠢的嘗試,可能帶來意想不到的結果。保持愚笨的態度,則能讓我們不被自己的思維所束縛,相信一切都有可能,相信自己可以不斷地學習和成功。
Steve Jobs said “Stay hungry, stay foolish” in his famous speech for graduate students at Stanford University in 2005. But this phrase is not from Jobs himself. He quoted it from Stuart Brand’s magazine “The Whole Earth Catalogue,” published during 1960s in America. The quote was printed on the back of the last edition of this publication in 1974, and this was what Jobs wished the students for getting into life and work: Stay hungry, stay foolish. Jobs addressed Stanford’s graduating class in 2005, and his words, his touching stories, insightful quotes, and witty comments really make anyone proudly live by. When Jobs, one of the most successful men of his time, discussed his life as a student, he, too, felt the need to attend college. He faced what many people were deathly afraid of: uncertainty. His lack of understanding caused him to stop attending college. However, it turned out to lead him to learn his favorite calligraphy instead. Jobs talked about raising Apple from its infancy, but being shoved away after a decade of hard work. Nevertheless, his love of the work helped him carry on to greater success. In his speech, Jobs quoted the saying “Stay hungry, stay foolish.” and it has become many people’s motto. Staying foolish is realizing that we are still a fool, no matter how much we’ve learned or experienced. There is always more to explore. Staying hungry is wanting to find those things that we are still unknown and uneducated. In his talk, Jobs recounted three stories. The first was dropping out of Reed College, but showing up for the courses he wanted to take. Dropping out was a tough decision. Then, getting fired from Apple was the second. Clearly, it was not his choice, but it led him to create Pixar Animation Studios. Finally, facing death was so hard for him. When facing death, he realized that he had to follow his own intuition, and not to live other people’s lives. Facing death let him know that he ought to take chances to do what was truly important in his life. He taught us the true meanings of “Stay hungry, stay foolish.”
It is a fact that when we stay hungry and stay foolish for things, the more knowledge we can acquire, and the better we get at succeeding. In other words, the truth is, if we stay hungry and stay foolish at all times, keeping a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset, we would, undeniably, flourish and succeed. First of all, while staying hungry and foolish, we, surely, know our true purposes of life. Anyway, it is the only way we can make a positive impact in the world. We can listen to our hearts and develop our awareness. We, then, would have ambitious, keep going and find ways to develop our ideas in our daily lives. Secondly, to stay foolish is to take risks. Taking risks that other people find irrational are a necessary part for any great success. When people say, “Being a dropout and start a business is foolish,” “Becoming a professional musician is impossible,” and “Devoting our life to solving a worldwide problem that no one else can is crazy,” they might not be true. On the contrary, the world would be boring and unchanged if nobody took the risks. Even though most of the people believe that they cannot change the world, it still does not stop the ones who do them from trying. We could have the courage to try to gain knowledge and have a mindset that challenges the common standards, not to accept them. And more often than not, we would, definitely, stay hungry and even stay foolish to challenge the status quo.
Actually, “Stay hungry, stay foolish” can mean that we make a difference. It is a good advice for anyone to enter adulthood and independence, to go out there in the world, to leave the cocoon of home, to keep the dreams alive and to move forward to where we want to go. When we learn to stay hungry and stay foolish, we might try our best to take risks, think big and change things for the better. And if it does not work, we may be possible to attempt to do something different and keep on going. Albert Einstein said, “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” So, once we stay fresh, naïve, hungry and foolish, we really learn and grow. We take on the knowledge. We practice skills. We are never self-satisfied. Brick by brick, we, finally, build the real paths to achieve what we want. It is a timeless call to action. In the end, we are different to pursue our wildest ambitions with tremendous enthusiasm, without regard for the status quo. Learning is a superpower. When we “stay hungry and stay foolish,” we are hunger every day for our desires, we are different, and we never fool ourselves into thinking that we can become who we are today.
To Be Perfectly Imperfect
The world is as a stage, and we are as actors playing our roles in it. And how can we learn to become a better actor. Shall we need to be perfect, whatever that means? Actually, trying to be perfect is exhausting. It’s a full-time job with no time off. However, when we say “I am perfectly imperfect,” we meant it in the best possible way or in the most optimal way possible. We, probably, cannot be perfect all the time, but we are finally learning to embrace ourselves as we are, not as we think we have to be. Perfectly imperfect might feel like, “This is who I am. I am not hiding.” It is rooted in self-acceptance. Imperfectly perfect feels more like noticing the beauty inside the flaws. In other words, letting go of perfection would let us be much kinder to ourselves. Whether we call it perfectly imperfect or imperfectly perfect, what we have learned is that perfection keeps us living small, and we are afraid to make mistakes. On the contrary, accepting the imperfections give us the freedom to be ourselves, without worrying whether we could fail or succeed.
In fact, in our lives, we have many flaws… like the way we talk, stand, and walk. We put too much trust into people. We are not confident in many ways. We might have been stuck in, for so many years, in order to appreciate who we are, and improve ourselves without the drive to be worthy in the eyes of others. The truth is, nothing is perfect, and to create the illusion that such an ideal could exist is a misconception because “perfection,” in its simplest form, is impossible to achieve. There will always be someone or something “better,” whether that’s in school, sports, family, or jobs. We, indeed, focus so much on comparing ourselves to the people around us because competition is what our society is built on. Whenever we plan to do something, we give it our best, and hope something great to come out of it. Initially, we do feel that the piece we have created is something beautiful and unique. But soon, we start to see the imperfections in it. We undervalue it and scrutinize our work. We end up getting trapped in a never ending loop of trivial improvements. Yes, it’s no doubt that we do have many flaws. Even though we strive to become someone who is perfect, and we all think that we should give more time to make the things perfect, probably, due to our flaws, there is no such perfect things at all in the world. The true magic always lies in seeing the perfection in the imperfection. Therefore, until the very end of our lives, we should admit that we have done our best, and have perfectly kept on moving to the imperfect world.
I want to take CCVS’s (Kaohsiung Municipal Chung-Cheng Industrial High School) YLP (Youth Leadership Program) as an example to illustrate the perfections in imperfections. First of all, the students of CCVS are not majoring in English. They only have regular English classes in school. They don’t even have extra time to train their English speaking skills. In other words, they are, truly, imperfect in their English abilities to match the goal of YLP. Secondly, by a sponsoring Toastmasters club (Golden Noon Toastmasters Club), YLP is a workshop consisting of eight one-and-a half-hour meetings that enable CCVS students, between the ages of 14 and 18, to develop their communication and leadership skills through practical experiences. In the meetings, these students will learn how to evaluate their own speaking abilities, prepare and deliver speeches, and control their voice, vocabulary, and gestures. Meetings are like Toastmasters club meetings that YLP, especially, helps students build effective communication skills, while understanding their own communication styles. However, in real situations, eight meetings cannot guarantee the students to acquire the techniques of English speaking. That is the imperfect environment. Finally, in such imperfect classroom managements, students still try their best to practice English, and deliver their speeches no matter how terrible they might present. This is the true courage that I do admire them. As an English teacher as well as an experienced Toastmasters member, I can see their fears. But, on the other hand, I notice that these students make progress week after week because of their constant practices. I do appreciate their efforts and respect their endeavors. This is the confidence for them to show their will for learning whatsoever.
Since childhood, we have been taught by the society that we should always try our best. We want to come first in class because that will make us become good students. We want to earn much money so that we can perfectly spend it wherever we want. That’s true. We do our best all the time. Then, what happens when we encounter experiences overloaded with sad emotions than goodness and happiness? In many circumstances, we actually know our deepest fears and also our deepest strengths. The outside world is permanently imperfect. We really can’t control it. That means, it is impossible for us to pursue the goals of perfection, and reach for the wonderful conditions outward. The only thing we can do is that we can be perfect as much as possible in the face of imperfect things around us. When we look back at our lives, we could evidently see many flaws, and few incidents are perfect. These imperfect things, definitely, expose our weaknesses and insecurities. But, in our hearts, we, keenly, perceive that we, surely, make efforts and work hard. That’s enough for us to be perfect in front of imperfect circumstances around the world.
人緩則安
「事緩則圓,人緩則安,語遲則貴」的意思,是指碰到事情不要操之過急,要慢慢地設法應付,才能得到圓滿的解決。「事緩則圓,人緩則安,語遲則貴」,這三句深富智慧的話,是出自清代俞萬春的《蕩寇志》,它啟示我們,面對困境時,不宜過於急躁。當遭遇挑戰時,要冷靜思考、循序漸進,在生活中,也應保持淡定,不要過於焦慮,說話時,更應當謹慎,有分寸,言之有物,才能使語言更具價值。這三句話,不僅是一種生活的智慧,更是我們為人處事的指引。換句話說,「事緩則圓,人緩則安,語遲則貴」的意思,是要我們遇事慢慢處理,不要操之過急。生活要慢慢適應環境,不要急於求成。說話要慢慢思考,不要急於表態。
首先,「人緩則安」意指,人在面對事務時,若能保持緩慢從容的態度,不急於求成,則能處於穩定和舒適的狀態。它提醒我們,要沉著應對,避免過度焦慮和急躁,因為心境的平靜,有助於迎接變數,並達成圓滿的結果。
l 保持冷靜,避免情緒干擾:
在遇到問題時,不要被急躁或焦慮的情緒影響,須從長計議,才能避免決策失誤。
l 循序漸進,穩紮穩打:
緩慢並不代表停滯不前,而是採取穩健、有條不紊的步調,一步步解決問題,以確保最終成功。
l 適應環境,保持穩定:
當改變發生時,不急於求成地去適應,而是給自己時間,慢慢地適應環境,才能保持心境的穩定與舒適。
「人緩則安」提醒我們,如果我們能夠緩慢地生活,我們就能夠更好地享受每一天。因為,當我們匆忙地過日子時,我們會感到焦慮和緊張,進而影響我們的健康和幸福。相反地,當我們緩慢地生活時,我們可以更好地享受人生,提高幸福感和生活品質。在現代社會中,我們經常會感到壓力和焦慮,那是因為在競爭激烈的世代裡,我們必須不斷地努力,才能保持競爭力。然而,這種競爭激烈的生活方式,往往導致我們疲憊不堪、焦慮和緊張。因此,如果我們能夠學會緩慢地生活,我們就能夠更好地把握每時每刻的快樂與美好。
其次,「事緩則圓」強調,我們遇事,要慢慢處理,不過於急躁,才能得到圓滿的結果。無論我們遇到什麼問題,其實都不用急著馬上回應,船到橋頭自然直,人生也絕不會因為單一的事情就毀掉。在空間上,我們自己最要緊;在時間上,此刻當下最重要。所以,我們不要焦慮,不要內耗,允許一切事情,自然發生。就算當下的結果,不是我們想要的,我們也要相信,未來會慢慢長成我們喜歡的樣子。泰戈爾說:「即使向空谷吶喊,也要等一會兒,才能聽見回音。」好事多磨,慢有慢的好處,晚有晚的道理。我們因為常常想要控制結果、追求完美,反而給自己帶來不必要的壓力。遇到問題時,我們不用急著去改變外在的世界,我們唯一需要關注的,就是自己內心的反應。靜就是吉,緩就是機。堅信凡事發生,必有利於我,給自己多一點時間,就是給好運多一些機會。時間是一種寶貴的資源,它可以帶來成功和幸福,也可以是失敗和痛苦。在現代社會中,我們經常被迫快速地做出決定和行動,這使得我們常忽略時間的價值。如果我們能夠學會緩慢地思考和行動,我們就能夠更好地掌控生活,實現目標和理想。
最後,「語遲則貴」是指,說話應謹慎思考,不貿然發言,這樣,才能使語言更有價值。我們在面對與人相處和言語交流時,應當要保持緩慢、從容、冷靜,要好好地思考,充分地表達自己。在現今社會中,溝通和交流是非常重要的,古訓道:「知止而後有定,定而後能靜,靜而後能安,安而後能慮,慮而後能得」。心浮氣躁的人,難成大事;真正的強者,大都能平靜如水,保持清醒的頭腦,不慌不忙,有條不紊。我們每個人,總會遇到形形色色的急事、難事、爛事。慢下來,靜下來,積蓄力量,穩住情緒,掌控心態,這樣,我們才能更加清晰,輕鬆地再出發。做到事緩則圓,人緩則安,語遲則貴,心靜則安,我們才能修養好自己的心態,修行好自己的心境。凡事不可急躁,心緩地接納,慢慢地觀察,抽絲剝繭地分析,我們才能找到問題的出口,對症下藥。事慢則圓,人慢則成,為人處世,沉得住氣,才能隨時靜下來,水到渠成。
《小窗幽記》道:「處事當熟思緩處,熟思則得其情,緩處則得其當。」真正的智者,遇到問題,從不着急,而是懂得深度思考,耐心分析,直到豁然開朗。《禮記》云:「水深則流緩,語遲則人貴。」水越深的地方,水流越平緩。那些有涵養、有人品的人,說話不急不慢,不慌不忙。我們做人,說話,不單要慢一些,說得清楚一點,還要說得少一些。《周易》云:「吉人之辭寡,躁人之辭多。」說話慢半拍,或是少說話,甚至是不說話,才能避免禍從口出。寧願做一個善於聆聽的人,也不要做一個尖酸刻薄、冷嘲熱諷、咄咄逼人、污言穢語的人。會說話的人,能愉悅人心,也能成就彼此。心靜則安,心靜,世界就靜了。世界靜了,一切雜物,都將會沉澱。凡事萬物,我們都要懂得清虛靜泰,才能活出從容、淡定、心安、心足。真正的智者能人,遇事從不着急,放緩步調,看清形勢,合理判斷。謹言慎行的人,尊重別人,心靜如鏡,心安存福,他/她必能從容地邁過坎坷,熬過波折,樂享當下的歲月靜好。
天馬行空的脫框
想想看,我們每天的生活與工作,常常被「因為非做不可,所以只好去做」的事情佔據。也許,有些人連什麼事情想做、什麼事情不想做、為什麼自己要做,都搞不清楚,實在可悲!活在這個時代,我們要取得資訊,並不是難事。電腦網路,愈來愈精密,要接收多少訊息,也不難。再者,除了新聞媒體和社群網站外,我們也可以透過讀書、學才藝、參加研習或講座等,來贊同或發表「自己獨一無二的觀點」。但是,在這個社會上,我們根本不太可能脫韁,產生想要以「自我模式」的思考,或以內在的動機發聲,因為,在我們僵化的國家體制下,群體的思想,是大過於個人思想的。例如,如果有小朋友說「我的夢想是當太空人」,我們會認為,他是個有前途的孩子,但是,如果長到一定年齡的成人,還說這樣的夢話,別人很難不回應:「都已經老大不小了,還說這些話。」年過五十的上班族,如果突然說:「我想要當電影導演」,那會讓很多人,大吃一驚的,或許,還會有人在背後嘲笑他呢!所謂的夢想或願景(vision),一般大人都會覺得,那是在做白日夢。應該這麼說,不按牌理出牌,敢於求新求變,不是不可以,而是很辛苦,失敗率高,也不被看好。然而,事實上,「真正有價值的事物,只會從夢想中誕生」。我們甚至還要故意去思考一些脫離現實的事情,才會有創意與創造力。換句話說,真正有價值的事物,是從「天馬行空」中誕生的。不按牌理出牌,不是空想,而是對原有的規則,勇於突破。「天馬行空」的思維,不是要想得很周全才做,而是在「直覺」的那一瞬間,斗膽實踐。世界上不變的道理,就是「變」,而人只要努力嘗試地去改變思維、作法和態度,一定會更加適應新的環境,變得更活躍的。蛹在蛻變成一隻美麗的蝴蝶之前,一定是經過一段寂寞與漫長的煎熬的,因為「完美」是需要很長的時間,才能辦到的啊!不按牌理出牌的思維,是與眾不同,基本上,不是一般人很快就能接受的,但是,如果我們能靠著「直覺」,堅持己見,擇善固執,總會達到自己想要的目標的。
我們對現實的感知,影響著我們的行動。那些早就知道的事情,我們總以為理所當然。我們人類的思考,常常是在一定的框架內的。不要框架、跳脫框架,好像會心慌,不知所措。這個世界,有各種模式,我們已經被教育及教導,預測事物的發展,瞭解任何狀況,試圖事事都掌握在自己手中,甚至還不斷的沙盤演練,完全控制,不容半點出錯。而且,正是這種心智模型,為我們帶來秩序,讓我們能夠無視不必要的事物,而很快地抓住重點,精準的執行任務。例如,我們需要做出重大決定時,像是換工作、生小孩、買房子、關掉工廠、蓋一棟摩天大樓等,就最常有這樣的客觀邏輯。但是,以我們日常生活的感受來說,有時,不要框架,反而海闊天空。社會上許多問題,之所以如此棘手,究其核心,就只是各方採用了不同的思考框架而已。例如,美國和其他國家之間,究竟是該築起一道牆,還是搭起一座橋?蘇格蘭究竟是該留在英國,或是獨立?中國對香港的「一國兩制」,究竟是一國,還是兩制?對於同一個情境,我們因為思考框架不同,看在眼裡,就有完全不同的樣貌。每一種思考框架,都會讓我們用某種獨特的視角,來看世界,或許要放大元素,或許就縮小元素。同樣的資料數據,不同的思考框架,就會有不同的結論。有時,我們慣用的思考框架,不見得和現實契合。那麼,也許不要框架,我們才能用不同的方式,來解決問題。平常上班工作時,要舉辦活動,我們總會覺得創意不足?寫不出文章,活動內容想不出來?創意是如此的遙遠與難以接觸,而創意又有點叛逆,不走常規,想要擁有創意,我們就要跳出現有的思考框架,先要有一顆好奇心,不要認為每件事情都習以為常,枯燥乏味。其次,我們也要擁有開放的心,走出自己的舒適圈,去擁抱各式各樣新的想法。那些思想或立場,慢慢地在我們的腦中拆解、融合,將來就會成為我們創意的養分。創意是可以被訓練的,面對問題時,我們要去想像那些各行各業的人物,他們是用什麼思維、態度、準則、專業去處理事情的。或者,反過來,我們逆向思考也行。或是,我們先暫時放下這件事,去散步、慢跑、玩樂,來放鬆大腦,然後,我們就會有創意了。
天馬行空的想像,無限遼闊。想像力是人類與生俱來的天賦,保有這份想像力是幸福的,具有想像力的人較樂觀,也較熱情,並喜愛探索世界,充滿創意。著名物理學家愛因斯坦說:「想像力比知識更重要」。未來的時代,我們真的需要更多的創意人才,也就是說,創造力和想像力,是未來重要的競爭力。我們生活的範圍,非常有限,但是,想像的世界,卻可以無邊無際。想像力在我們的生活中,無所不在,千奇百怪,它常常影響著我們日常生活所做的一切。許多名人,如比爾·蓋茨和史蒂夫·賈伯斯,都運用了他們的想像力,預見個人電腦如何改變世界,並發明微軟和蘋果。想像力確實影響著我們的每一個行動,它有無限的可能,永遠驚喜。我們要有意識、有知覺地跳脫框架,運用想像力,才能無時無刻,都有創意,充滿新鮮。我們天馬行空的脫框,可使我們永遠海闊天空,開開心心,呼吸並享受著宇宙帶給我們的每一份恩賜。
學校、老師與學生
學習,乃是人生不間斷的大事,它維繫著個人的發展,社會的進步,甚至國家的興衰。學校、老師及學生,是學習不可或缺的一環。一般而言,學習的場所是學校,學校設施,是指為達成教育目標,而設立的教學建築與設備,其內,包括校舍、庭園、運動場及其附屬設施等。學校的教室與辦公室,在校內的各建築物內;運動場包括田徑賽場地、球場、體育館、遊戲場與游泳池;庭園是指學校的庭院空間。學校是實施教育的場所,其設施與環境,應具備教育意味與價值,並擔負起薰育沐化的作用。學校環境與設施,大大影響著師生的健康、工作、休閒、情緒、場所感和歸屬感。其運作的良好,則能增進教師的教學效率,學生的學習成就,及師生對學校的認同感。因應近來多起刑事案件,為防範重大校安事件發生,學生應隨時注意自身的安全及預防,其注意事項如下:
(一)上學勿單獨太早到校,放學不要太晚離開校園,務必結伴同行,或由家人陪同,不行經漆黑小巷,或人煙罕至的地方,及進出危險的場所。
(二)學生應配合學校作息時間,課餘時,避免單獨留在教室,不單獨上廁所,避免到校園偏僻的死角,以確保自身的安全。
(三)課後社團及自習班的教室,應集中配置,減少放學後樓層出入口的動線。學生如在校內遇到陌生人,或可疑的人物,應立即通知師長。
(四)遇到陌生人問路時,學生可熱心告知,但不必親自引導前往,切勿聽信他人的要求,繳交金錢,或隨同離校。
(五)學生在校外發現陌生人跟隨,應快速跑至人多的地方,或便利商店,並大聲喊叫,吸引他人的注意,尋求協助。
只要我們好好利用學校的設備,注意安全,學校內的設施,定可發揮其最大的功能,供老師與學生充分使用。
再者,一位好老師,需要不斷進步的專業知識、教學熱情、良好的品德操守,以及能將複雜事物簡化,並激勵學生的能力。也就是說,老師的專業特質,是要具備深厚的學科知識,能清晰且深入地傳授知識,並有主動學習的能力,不斷求進步。老師要對教學的內容和學生,有真誠的熱情,能付出心力,耐心教導,能贏得學生的信任,作為學生的榜樣。老師的專業與熱誠,是相互依存的,專業的知識,提供了教學的根基,而熱誠則是激發學生的學習動力。一位有專業和熱誠的老師,不僅是知識的傳遞者,更是學生的引導者,及心靈的啟迪者,他/她肩負著傳承文化,與培育未來人才的重大使命。當老師具有信任、真誠、開放、接納和耐心的人格特質時,學生自然能充分信任老師,願意開放地學習與討論,展現自己的能力。此外,現今的老師,更要以「生命教育」為重點,期望從情感、人際、生活、人生、生命各方面,啟發學生對「生命意義」的瞭解。在傳統的教學模式中,老師是站在教室前方講課,而學生是坐在下面聽課的,但是,有些學生全神貫注,有的則心不在焉。由於學生的程度不一,老師的教學,除了關心外,更需要熱誠與尊重。在「亦師亦友」的前提下,老師可親近地跟學生溝通、互動。老師「熱誠」的態度,學生絕對懂得,其情誼,甚至在學生畢業之後,還能長長久久,保持連繫。
最後,在這瞬息萬變的世界裡,學生在學校,要持續的努力,才能成就卓越的未來。其實,成功的背後,都有著無數不為人知的辛勤與付出的。學會努力,學生才能在歲月的長河中,築起屬於自己的燦爛未來。每個人都有夢想,無論是想成為一位出色的醫生,或是成功的企業家,我們都需要靠不斷的努力來實現。成功的過程,絕不是一帆風順的,往往充滿艱辛與挑戰。努力是一種選擇,當我們遇到挫折時,選擇努力,將決定我們最終的成就。在校園中,透過老師的教導,我們學生要努力的學習。對於學生而言,每一個清晨的早起,每一次對知識的探索,都是努力的體現。在努力的過程中,我們會遇到各種困難,經由老師在身邊的指引,我們學習鍛煉自己的意志,提升自我的能力。努力是一種生活的態度,因著良師的教誨,我們努力前行,學會在社會上的基本素養與技能。學校是一個教育學生的地方,它像一棵大樹,是成熟、茁壯的,學生就像樹葉一般,在成長中,有無限的可能。老師在學校,努力精進,教導學生,教學相長,落實「亦師亦友」,跟學生建立良好的關係,學生也相信自己的能力,努力達成目標,獲取好成績,將來貢獻社會。學校、老師與學生,相輔相成,缺一不可,讓我們一生的學習,活到老,學到老,永無止盡。
Vision of My Life
Vision clarifies our life purposes. We all asked ourselves, at one time or another, that why we are here. And where do we see ourselves in life? In fact, we all are here with specific purposes, i.e., our vision. Then, what exactly is the vision? The dictionary defines vision as an act or power of anticipating which will come to be. In other words, vision gives directions of our lives to let our goals and purposes become a reality. So, in order to understand where we want ourselves to be in life, we must have a clear vision over our lives. Once we understand that vision clarifies purposes, life will become simpler and more meaningful. Actually, the vision of my life decides who I am now.
First of all, vision chooses our friends and the company we keep. People are attracted and spend time with others who have the same vision, and are disciplined in their vision. That is, we normally make friends with people who know where they are headed in life. The great thing is that vision not only benefits and helps us, but also makes room for others to learn and grow in their purposes as well.
Secondly, vision decides how we spend our time. In reality, how we spend our time is all connected to our vision. If our vision is important to us, the time we spend pursuing it will reflect it. In order to reach our goals and purposes, the time we spend will determine our actions to achieve our vision. If time wasted today, we cannot get back tomorrow because tomorrow is not guaranteed. Money, people, and opportunities can always come again later in life, but once the time is gone, it is gone forever. Therefore, if we have clear vision, we are sure that we won’t waste our time. On the contrary, we certainly make the most of our time to take action.
Thirdly, vision creates our habits. Not only does vision decide our friends, how we spend our time, but also it creates our habits. Vision does a lot of things for us to realize what we want. For example, in order to strengthen my professional knowledge, I do take time to read books for 30 minutes every day. Day after day, I, finally, realize that it surely becomes my good habit to read books before I go to bed. Habits are the things that, most of the time, we do every day without thinking about it. It’s important to know that the way we spend our time, energy and resources can contribute us one step closer than we were yesterday. The truth is that our vision and purposes of life can help us create our good habits.
At last, finding and realizing our purposes of life is not easy. But once we comprehend our purposes and write down the vision, our lives could become simple and less complex. Society has made us believe that the busier we are, the more successful and important we are. As soon as we understand our purposes and vision, we know why we are here, busy and what we want. I can see my vision to be an English teacher, a classical, ballet dancer, a pianist and a yoga practitioner. I am very happy to make friends with English teachers and ballet dancers. I spend most of my time to practice English, to dance and play the piano, and even to form good habits of rehearsing them every day. My vision really lets me know what I want and the purposes of my life. With vision of my life, I, indeed, feel pleased and enjoy myself very much.
奇幻與現實 Fantasy and Reality
學生寫小說,請我拜讀,我十分樂意,只見主角、配角、英雄、軍團、人魚、反派人物、魔鬼、命運使者、怪物等···,充斥劇情,引發我無限地好奇與深思!小說中有1、英雄:他們承載著拯救世界的使命,具有強烈的道德感、勇氣和領導能力,經歷成長與挑戰,最終克服困難,實現自我救贖。2、反英雄:反英雄是追求金錢和復仇的角色。3、命運使者:這一角色往往肩負著某種預言或重大使命,注定要對抗黑暗勢力,充滿挑戰和自我發現。4、邪惡的統治者:他們是統治者或魔法師,追求權力與控制,利用其影響力,進行操控和陰謀,造成大量的衝突和混亂。5、墮落的英雄:此為反派角色,原本可能是英雄,但因悲慘的經歷或選擇,而走上邪路。他們的轉變,因被外部環境所迫,常引發同情和理解。6、無情的怪物:怪物或惡魔,代表人類內心的黑暗,其異形生物或超自然虛體,使英雄的旅程,更具挑戰性。奇幻小說很有趣,但是,奇幻不是為了逃避現實,因為,奇幻本身就是現實。說穿了,奇幻是透過不同的視角,看待現實。人們常會因煩惱,而尋求慰藉,奇幻正是我們現實的產物。在托爾金的《魔戒》中,種族的歧視,反映了殘酷的現實;精靈騎著高頭的大馬,是帶有優越感的;妖怪容不下仙女,便摧毀仙女的棲息地···等等。魔法、巨龍、寶藏、戰爭,小說的情節與故事,正是反映出我們所面臨的嚴峻現實。奇幻的魔法,讓我們看到神奇的世界,其實是與我們的世界,有多麼地相似啊。
我們的思想與價值觀,是出自人類的視野、認知與思維運作的,我們對虛構的想像,也是基於現實之所見。因此,虛構創作所呈現出的觀點、生活風格、生命概念與樣貌,及抽象的意識形態,基本上,注定逃離不了人類的心靈。平淡的生活,是不可能存在奇幻性的。奇幻、科幻小說,是因應現實而誕生的。奇幻故事,就是緬懷過往的美好年代;其想像的社會或夢境,則是寄情於古老的美好舊時光。想像離不開現實,甚至奠基於現實,所以,所有的奇幻小說,都是由真實的地面長出來的。奇幻小說是以虛構世界為背景,融合魔法、神話、超自然力量的文學體裁。故事常發生在一個虛擬的宇宙,超越現實的物理法則,充滿魔法、異種生物及英雄冒險等,這些元素不受現實世界的科學法則約束,擁有複雜的歷史、文化、地理及獨特的生物,通常以善惡之爭為核心。小說中的英雄,也肩負著拯救世界的使命或責任,透過冒險,獲得成長,最終戰勝邪惡的勢力。英雄借助超自然的力量和規則,創造出獨特的體驗,包括,逃離現實,體驗未知的世界,魔法、咒語、神器、及各種超自然現象,如巨龍、精靈、吸血鬼等,並經歷複雜的社會問題和哲學思考。其中,善惡的對立,是故事的主軸,善良的主角,與邪惡的反派之間的對抗,是推動故事情節的重要因素。此外,奇幻世界是廣闊無垠、充滿可能性的虛擬構想,我們藉由對虛構的無限,更能探索現實世界的深層底線。
直至今日,人類科學家仍在試圖探索大自然的奧妙、海洋的真實,以及宇宙的神秘。即便是在當前高度發展的世界,人類的科技,仍無法觸及並掌握造物的完全風貌。對於世界,我們仍抱持著懷疑、好奇,與想像,這就是奇幻。
奇幻,不單單只是有猛龍與魔法,有偉大的英雄,和傳奇的寶劍而已。在奇幻的背後,其實是我們對於真實世界的好奇與疑問。我們靠著想像力的發揮,一面根據現實去定義,一面根據虛構去塑造,然後,兩者結合、交融,形成似真非真、似假非假的奇幻世界。奇幻具有不受現實框架的約束,具有高度延展的空間,可以任意發揮,超級可塑。也就是說,奇幻小說的世界觀,魔法系統,人物構想,奇幻生物,乃至於神祇、古代神獸等,都超越人類現實的範疇,是可以有更多演化或延伸的,甚至還可以有多種變體,無盡的可能性。想像是人類所擁有的能力,當人類有未解的難題、無法實現的慾望時,人類就會藉由想像來尋找答案,或寄託於虛構的幻想。想像力,是可以有很瘋狂的想法的,例如,看到鳥飛,人們就會想,如果人也能飛,那該多好!如果人能在時間軸上旅行,回到過去、拜訪未來,那又會是怎麼樣?在人類的文化歷史中,想像力豐富的藝術家、文學家,都能創造出許多美好的作品,留傳千古。我們透過不斷地思考,提出新點子和解決問題,不但可以開拓思維,發揮想像力,還可以培養無中生有的創造力。想像力和創造力,讓我們充分享受在超現實的奇幻世界裡,確實豐富了我們生活的內涵,開啟了我們無限可能的思維,更增加了生命的創新與挑戰。
儀式感與存在感
有儀式感的人生,我們才能切實地有存在感,真正地感知生命,熱情地享受生活。那麼,儀式感是什麼呢?儀式感是人們表達內心情感,最直接的方式。其實,儀式感的目的,是透過一些耗時耗力、可有可無的動作,來表達我們認為重要的意義。我們的生活,多半平淡無奇,今天和昨天,似乎沒有什麼不同,但因為有某個儀式的存在,我們就會覺得,彷彿一切都不一樣了,這就是儀式感。儀式感可以將生活中平淡的瑣事,轉化成有特殊意義的事件,進而觸動我們的心靈。
《小王子》裡有一個片段:小王子第一次遇到狐狸時,狐狸告訴他,相識是需要一定的儀式的,這很重要,因為伴隨著這個儀式,原本很多無關緊要的東西,就會被賦予意義。好比狐狸看到小麥,就會想起小王子的髮色。有了儀式,生活就會有期待,小王子每天下午四點會出現,那麼,到了三點鐘的時候,狐狸就會滿心期待。儀式感就是使某一天與其他日子不同,或是,某一時刻與其他時刻相異。在這個世界上,大多數人,都是庸庸碌碌的,時光總是很容易被虛度。儀式感的作用,就是要讓我們在日常的煩瑣中,體驗到真正的愉悅。儀式感,說穿了,不過就是做一些小事,例如,買幾朵花,增加愉悅感;和朋友聚餐,帶著鮮花,氣氛會變得更溫馨、浪漫。又如,出門吃飯,精心化個淡妝,再根據餐廳的風格,搭配相應的服飾,那麼,我們就會感到特別新鮮、開心了。儀式感的目的,是要讓人感覺我們在認真的生活,而不是蒼白度日。生活的意義,是需要主觀地賦予的,那是一種生活美學。沒有儀式感的生活,一年365天,除了吃喝拉撒睡,和日復一日重複的工作外,毫無期待,就算我們做了一輩子的好事,也沒人知道。我們尋求儀式感,只是在這個無情且殘酷的世界裡,讓某段時光或某個場景,能夠真實地受控於我們,並且賦予我們自己,有個人的色彩罷了。想像一下,在某個普通的午後,當我們端起一杯咖啡,四處看看時,是不是這一刻,突然變得特別不一樣了呢?一個小小地、簡單的動作,我們就能感受到片刻的寧靜和滿足,那就是儀式感啊!
接著,何謂存在感呢?人生在世,就像在一條漫長且黑暗的河流裡,不斷地漂泊、流浪,我們到底在哪裡呢?誰能切實地、清楚明白地知道呢?可是,我們是不是依然不斷地前行?所謂存在感,就是讓我們有意識的活著,像小燈塔一樣,我們靠著燈塔微弱、閃爍的亮光,別人就能看到我們,而我們也確定自己的存在。也許燈塔的小光會吹滅,但是,我們依舊努力地在讓燈塔發光,為每一個平凡的日子,普通的行為,照出屬於我們自己的特性。
存在型生活模式(Existential Mode of Living)是心理學家佛洛姆(Erich Fromm),在20世紀中期,提出的一個重要概念。在他的著作《逃避自由》(Escape from Freedom)和《愛的藝術》(The Art of Loving)中,他認為,隨著工業化和資本主義的發展,現代社會中的人們,越來越感到孤立和無意義,這是一種「異化」現象。異化讓人失去自我、他人及世界的真實聯繫。佛洛姆強調,透過追求內在的自我,和建立有意義的人際關係,人可以克服異化,實現真正的存在。儀式感就是賦予人在日常行為的意義和連結,也就是說,儀式感讓我們在繁忙和碎片的生活中,找到意義,表現存在。人類學家湯瑪斯·摩爾(Thomas Moore)說:「儀式感賦予我們生活中的小事以靈魂,使我們的行動,充滿神聖。」所以,舉凡家庭聚餐、公司團康、節日慶典、宗教儀式、傳統婚禮等,這些儀式感的活動,不僅促進大家的互動和交流,還強化群體的認同和歸屬。當今社會中,越來越多人重視存在型生活模式,因為,透過儀式感,我們可以大大地提升生活的幸福和滿足。義大利有句流行的口頭禪:「Piano, Piano」,不是指鋼琴,而是指「慢慢來,慢慢來」。對當地的居民來說,這不只是一句口號,而是內化的生活態度。義大利人生活,動作很慢,他們放慢速度,並非放空、毫無安排,而是一種生活的平衡,沒有一定的公式,也不用特別到深山隱居。他們的慢活、慢養,是為了更自在、更長遠的社會秩序。換句話說,即便我們藏身在都市叢林,我們的精神,也能放個假,慢慢地幸福過活。儀式感就是在平日愈繁忙中,愈要好好經營時間,為疲累的身心加滿油,於是,隔天又是元氣滿滿!過幸福的小日子不難,就是要自己提案、自己實踐,讓生活真正活起來,不流於形式,只是熱情地認真生活,人生就很美好。
回不去了
我們常會在繁華的深處,喧譁的街角,人際的紛雜中,感嘆回不去了。然而,是美好的,卻永遠存在。縱然,我們有很多事情,都回不去了,但是,我們若記得愛與被愛,那便是美好的回憶了。
回不去了。小時候,看到爸媽的眼神
回不去了。以前的日夜嘆息,原來可以開花結果
回不去了。想念爸媽的日子
回不去了。那時爸媽有多健康
回不去了。那些擦肩走過的人
回不去了。已經漲價了
回不去了。口罩也拿不下來
回不去了。開會都是線上,吃飯要外送、宅配
回不去了。日常且細瑣的食衣住行
回不去了。看著背影,心底總有好多話
是的,許多曾經,其實都過去了,時間每十年、十年地飛逝,就這樣,好多的人事物,都是回不去的。生命何其弔詭,在「回不去了」的同時,我們隨著時間的步調,又有新的地圖、新的計劃。生活一天天地過,看似單調,卻彷彿一直在重複。逝者如斯,不捨晝夜,我們好像只能活在當下,因為,所有的人事物,都有它回不去的理由,食衣住行育樂,無處不漲,世界變化萬端,朝令夕改,我們好像只有美好的曾經Good old days,卻不知未來的展望。
難道,沒有什麼我們能回得去的嗎?物質條件,恐怕沒有;但是,精神方面,也許我們可以自己訂製。人生只有一次,反正也回不去了,就該享受當下,用心過好自己的生活。我們如果能找到自己的生活節奏,讓自己的成長,穩步推進,為每天達成的小目標,感到充實和幸福,那就太棒了。因此,為了不讓自己有「回不去」的遺憾,我們每天都要自我反省與改造,不論大事或小事,都要自律,養成良好的習慣,我們若能看到自己的進步,就是開心。在生活中,遇到不知道的事物,我們就是要去理解,不讓自己的心思定型,要時常思考新的可能,發現新的自己。
是的,我們可以隨時設計巧思,讓生活過得不一樣,例如,處處製造儀式感,吃浪漫的餐飲,去公園散步、遛狗等。試著在生活中,注入新元素,摘一、兩朵花,寫三兩行字,即使是小小的設計,都能讓我們每天的生活,過得不一樣的。此外,我們要常常珍惜物品、珍惜自己。每天,我們都可觸摸身邊的物品,加入我們的氣息,讓物品顯得神采奕奕。同樣地,我們自己身體的各個部位,每天也要好好照顧,確認自己健康無恙。蔡康永說:「活著應該要體會成就感,而不只是去追求成功。關鍵是,我們要過自己的生活。」人生的每個階段,都值得做「生涯規劃」,自己的選擇與決定,非常重要。生涯規劃,是要找到我們自己理想的生活樣貌。理想的生活,不一定是買車、買房,也許要好好陪伴家人,或者,在工作之餘,發展自己的興趣,做對別人有幫助的事。自我覺察,也很重要,每一個覺察,都在幫助我們檢視自己,看看自己是否有自我肯定、自信和自我價值;是否有找到自己最舒適、自在的生活狀態。我們要隨時告訴自己:「今天的我,比昨天更進步,明天的我,比今天懂得更多。」人生的馬拉松,有無限的方向和可能。我們要調整步伐,定調屬於自己的成就感,活出自己想要的理想生活。
宇宙的護持與庇佑 Support and Protection of the Universe
我們經常談論恆星、行星、動物、天空、地球、水與雪,卻忘了我們是大自然的一份子。所有的古代文明,都透過宗教、形上學和哲學來問,宇宙將走向何方?我們替恆星命名,測量出地球到月球的距離,在礦物學中,我們學到岩石的不同特質,還有地表變化的地殼運動等。當我們拿一個東西,並讓它從手中落下時,我們看到它向下墜落,是地心引力。地球上的小物質,與我們身處的大物質之間,有一種自然的吸引力,而且,我們知道此吸引力是永恆的、不變的。一般來說,當我們遇到困難時,我們會試著努力一段時間,但如果很困難,沒有解決,我們就會退讓。在大自然的事物中,它們擁有超越時間的韌性,並永遠都在達到目的,永不休止。一顆小小的種子,埋在冬天佈滿雪的土地下,會耐心地等待春天到來,當春天來臨時,那顆小小的種子,便破土抽芽,向上尋找空氣與陽光,長大成樹,開花結果,植物具備了「懂得等待與成長」的能力,那是「堅韌」。再拿「水」為例,無論我們把水倒在哪裡,水都會朝向大海而去,蒸發成氣體,上升到大氣,凝結成雲,再化作水落下,成為大自然循環的一部分。宇宙萬物,皆其來有自。葉子的呼吸孔,是在下方,而不是在上方,因為如果在上方的話,葉子會被灰塵覆蓋,無法呼吸,所以,葉子的呼吸孔,生在下方,這是巧合嗎?蝴蝶的翅膀顏色,剛好跟花朵、樹葉一樣,好讓牠不會被鳥捕食,這是巧合嗎?貓頭鷹的翅膀尖端,是平滑的,所以,牠們就能在夜間飛行時,不發出任何聲響,獵捕到兔子,這可能是巧合嗎?囓ㄋㄧㄝˋ齒類動物的耳朵,是向後的,這樣,牠們就可以聽到掠食者所發出的細微動靜,這可能是巧合嗎?我們可以透過光譜,將白色的光,拆分成七彩顏色,為何是七種色彩呢?雖然宇宙萬物是如此多重多樣,但它們卻不約而同的尋著軌跡活著,這冥冥之中,是否有一個大智慧,支配著這一切呢?我們不能說,大自然所有的一切,都是巧合。相反地,我們必須去意識到,是有一個最深遠的大智慧,安排了這一切的。
據了解,宇宙的自然運行,可分成七個原則:
(1) 第一個原則是「合一」。整個宇宙是協調合一的,換句話說,所有的世間萬物,都遵循著「合一」的原則,相互協調成一個宇宙。當生命活著的時候,它們不會毀滅其它生命,而是使所有的生命,成為可能。例如,狼在草原上追趕鹿時,牠不會抓最年輕的,而是抓最老的,這意味著,即使在我們看來,是毀滅的行為,很殘酷,但卻是一種能讓物種得以永存的方式。自然中不存在任何問題、質疑或反抗的聲音,因為,所有事物都會完美的協調與平衡。
(2) 第二個原則是「光」。自然中的萬物,皆擁有光,無論是形體上的,還是精神上的。光在宇宙是永遠存在的,我們需要知識,去理解宇宙的光,來幫助我們去生活,提升生命。
(3) 第三個原則是「差異」。自然中的所有事物,都是不同的。沒有兩個東西,是絕對一樣,或完全相同的。所有的事物,都是不同的,就算是沙灘上的沙粒,看起來似乎一樣,但仍不盡相同。我們可以是相等的,但不是平等;我們可以是相似的,但不是相同。就好比不同顏色的馬賽克,具有相似的色調,但永遠不會完全相同。
(4) 第四個原則是「組織」。宇宙萬物都是有組織、有條理順序的。我們看到一顆樹,聳立於大地上,擁有結實的樹幹,茂密的樹梢,支持著鳥兒,讓鳥兒們得以築巢棲息,這是大自然的安排。換句話說,宇宙的一切,都組織得井然有序,都精心設計過,萬物才得以相互共存共榮。組織意味著支持,就好比我們的雙手是相反的,它們才能夠組織自己,把東西撿起來,如果我們的雙手,是面向同一邊,我們應該很難撿東西吧!「組織」這個原則,使我們在生活與工作的同時,讓我們與別人,都發揮所長,成為最好的個體。
(5) 第五個原則是「因果」。每件事物,都是之前有因,之後有果的。在任何時候,每件事物,都同時是某個事物的結果,也是其他事物的起因,它們是彼此相連的。也就是說,我們不能置身度外,漠不關心。當然,也不能好管閒事,惹事生非。
(6) 第六個原則是「活力」。所有萬物,都是活著的。當我們說一個東西是否活著時,我們常以它是否會動、會飛或會成長來做判斷。但是,打從宇宙出現的那一刻起,並不是只有會動的生物,才算活著,會回饋、反抗的無生命體,也是活著的。宇宙中所有的一切,都不停的在動,萬物皆被「活力」所滲透,生生不息。因此,當我們說一個生命死亡時,其實生命並沒有死亡,它們只不過是改變了活著的條件、形態或方式而已。我們說,人死後,會去另一個看不見的世界,但是,其實人一直都看不見自己。真正的人,是在他所做的事情背後、在他的身體背後、在他的言語背後、及在他的行為背後,一直都活著的,永不消滅。
(7) 第七個原則是「週期」。自有人類以來,我們就注意到自然中有白天和黑夜、夏天和冬天。是的,週期包含所有的東西,一切都是循環不止的。行星在天空中,週期循環,微小的粒子,也在原子內循環移動。「週期」原則,可使生命不斷地延續與活躍。我們要有洞察力,需要新科學,需要新藝術,與新政治,讓我們能夠和睦相處,彼此精進。宇宙本身,就是周而復始的大自然,春夏秋冬,潮起潮落,無一例外。我們唯一能做的事,就是護持大自然,強烈地活在生命提供給我們的每時每刻,相信大自然的庇佑,永遠都在,且於無時無刻,心中都要有愛、信心及感恩,我們才能活的更新、更好。
總之,和樂、和諧與合羣,是大自然的法則。從大自然中,我們看到很多真理,山河大地與日月星辰之間的平衡,恰到好處,身體的五臟六腑、四肢五官也相互協調。在宇宙裡,我們用理性與智慧,去看待一切。我們生命的本質,本自具足,不假外求。大自然的一切,也都互相利他,充滿大愛。我們只要在日常的生活、工作,為人、處事當中,各盡其職,恪守本分,心存善念,充滿信心,我們必會得到宇宙的護持與庇佑。
信心、善良與自在 Confidence, Kindness and Feeling at Ease
Confidence, kindness, and feeling at ease are all inborn and interconnected virtues that we possess to live in the world. Confidence allows us to navigate challenges with self-assurance, while kindness fosters positive relationships and a sense of connection. When we own the above-mentioned qualities, we experience a sense of ease and inner peace. Feeling at ease implies a sense of comfort, relaxation, and inner peace. In other words, when we are confident and kind, we are more likely to feel at ease in our minds and in social situations. By actively cultivating confidence, kindness, and a sense of ease, we, definitely, can create more positive and fulfilling lives for ourselves and others.
First of all, confidence is a feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of our own abilities or qualities. It’s about believing in ourselves and our capacities to handle situations and achieve goals. It’s also a positive expectation for us to succeed and to deal with challenges. Confidence isn’t just a feeling, but involves the willingness to take action and pursue aims. It’s the belief that we can do something, for sure. Therefore, confidence is the most important resource in human well-being and performance. Further, what we think has a significant impact on changes in our attitudes. Thus, the best way for us to build self-confidence is to act as if we already possess it. This is where visualization can be beneficial. We were all born with confidence, and we can all get it back if we learn harder. By continually practicing and training our brains to be more confident, we would generate a more consistent outlook that results in a more positive attitude. Moreover, confidence doesn’t come from knowing everything, but from knowing that we can handle what comes up. No one in the world knows everything. Everyone is good at some things, but is not good at other things. If someone criticizes us, we take it as an opportunity to improve. If someone does better than us, we should see it as an chance to learn from them. Even confident people lose jobs, relationships, and sometimes, their health. Hence, when we realize that the twists and turns have nothing to do with what we did or should have done, it’s easier for us to feel confident in the world.
Secondly, kindness involves a spirit of helpfulness, being generous and considerate, without expecting anything in return. Rather than viewing kindness exclusively as an action, giving kindness often is simple, free and healthy. Actually, kindness can increase our sense of connection with others, decrease loneliness, combat low mood and improve relationships. When we share kindness, it’s not just about how we treat other people, but also about how we extend those same behaviors and intentions to ourselves. Dalai Lama said, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible for us.” The more we do for others, the more they are likely to do for us. Even if things are hard for us right now, we still can try and find some small things to celebrate each day. Humans are usually hardwired to be kind. Nevertheless, if we want to show kindness to others, why not we start by being kind to ourselves first. Anyway, practicing kindness is free and is readily available to everyone.
At last, just as one single act of kindness can create a domino effect (ripple effect) that benefits dozens of people, everyone has the way to influence more than he/she thinks that he/she has. That is, anything that we feel comfortable with and get better at, takes practice. Whether it’s playing a sport, cooking, gardening and drawing, nothing gets better without practice. Every time we practice, we strengthen the neural pathways in our brains associated with doing that action. Eventually, something that we once felt difficult and insurmountable becomes easy in our everyday life. Practice makes perfect. In fact, perfection isn’t required. We just need practice, and we can make progress! In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to overlook these small, genuine acts of harmony in our daily lives. So, we must be able to let go of the old beliefs, and find a profound sense of fulfillment and contentment within ourselves. We have to take easy to comprehend that it is the present moment in the simple choices we make, the intentions we set, and the ways we treat ourselves and others. Haven’t we, recently, had the time to cook healthy and balanced meals for ourselves and our loved ones, or to reconnect with an old friend or our family members? When we live at ease, we are, then, enjoying the sun shining on us, the buds starting to open, and the birds singing. Our hearts and minds are strong and complex, and we need to feed them with love and respect always. To be at ease is to be relaxed, centered and calm even in the midst of difficult situations. Life is not easy. But if we bring an energy of ease to each moment, we can find a lightness that offers support. To be at ease does not mean that everything is going our ways and falling into places just as expected. To be at ease means that even when things are not going as planned, there is an effortlessness to our steps, and it will be okay no matter what. The universe works with a balance of constriction and expansion. Thus, it’s much easier to be at ease when we feel expanded, and all is going well. There are two stated definitions of ease: 1) to make something unpleasant, painful, serious or severe; and 2) to move carefully, gradually, or gently. Being at ease actually requires both definitions in order to work. We must move with gentle intentions and mindful awareness while remembering to drop resistance that arises in certain situations. Ease is not something that comes automatically. It is something we must practice in a world full of unease. We have a choice in every moment to bring the energy of ease into our existence. The more feeling at ease we have, the easier lives we experience. To sum up, in order to be healthy and happy people, we ought to have full confidence in ourselves, and practice kindness to others. We, then, feel at ease in our whole lives in return.
Grit恆毅力
Grit為恆毅力,特別是指對長期目標的熱情和毅力,以不屈不撓的精神,去追求目標,即使遇到挫折,也要堅持下去的特質。簡單來說,恆毅力就是要有決心和毅力,去努力達成目標,不輕易放棄的力量。恆毅力(grit),是需要有追求長期目標的熱情(passion)與毅力(perseverance)的,它不僅只是努力1週或1個月而已,而是持續長達數年的努力,直到目標實現為止。心理學家Angela Duckworth指出,恆毅力(grit)是比智商、天賦更重要的成功特質,即使在遭受困境失敗後,有恆毅力支撐的長期目標,依然會堅固地毫不動搖 (steadfast)。Duckworth的研究顯示,恆毅力較高的人,有較好的表現。在全美兒童拼字比賽中,恆毅力強的孩子,學得很多,也更容易在競賽中勝出。在比賽中,天分高的孩子,不見得會花很多時間練習,還不如恆毅力高的孩子。天賦和恆毅力,是毫無關連的。我們的潛力是一回事,但是,我們做什麼,又是另外一回事。結論是,相信恆毅力,我們就是相信個人的成功,是完全掌握在自己的手上的。
我們可以藉由成長型思維模式 (growth mindset),來鍛鍊恆毅力,例如,我們可以尋求協助、嘗試新方法、或從挫敗中學習等,靠後天的訓練,來讓自己變得更強壯,跳脫天生的限制,往前邁進。Duckworth提出,要獲得成功與成就,外在的機會,很重要。例如,跟著好的指導教練或老師,長時間的學習,一樣是可以成功的。同時,內在的心理,深信努力的成效,也至關重要。「成長型思維模式」認為,大腦的學習能力是可以改變的,就如同身體的肌肉一樣,它會因為我們的努力與自我訓練,而有所進步與成長。因此,在生活中,我們可以重新詮釋成功與失敗的經驗。成功並不代表我們很聰明,或許是我們非常努力的成果;相反地,失敗亦不代表我們愚笨,那可能是我們努力不夠,或是沒有恆毅力。我們可以有成長型的思維,隨時檢視與調整自己的學習方式,重新型塑自己大腦功能的成長,這樣,絕對會讓我們一次次更接近成功。
Duckworth建議:「如果你是家長,想要培養孩子的恆毅力,又不想抹煞孩子自己選擇的能力,我建議你試試困難任務規定(Hard Thing Rule)。」簡言之,當我們的孩子年紀夠大時,我們可以幫他們找出可能感興趣的課外活動,然後,讓小孩每週花點時間,投入他們感興趣的困難事物,如此,真的可以幫助他們成長。「困難任務規定」(Hard Thing Rule),分成三部分。第一部分是全家每個人,包括爸爸、媽媽,都必須做一件困難的任務。所謂「困難任務規定」,是指需要每天刻意練習的事情,例如跑步,練瑜伽,學鋼琴,學芭蕾舞,練習數學,或英文會話等。「困難任務規定」的第二部分是,我們可以放棄任務,但是,至少我們要等到一季結束、學期結束,或是達到某個截止點,完成某個段落後,才能停止,不可以因為被老師罵,比賽輸了,或是隔天早上要表演,不能去朋友家過夜等理由而放棄。最後,「困難任務規定」的第三部分是,我們有權利自己挑選那件困難的事。沒有人可以強迫我們做困難的任務,那絕對是我們自己的選擇。既然是自己的選擇,我們就應該努力好好完成任務才行。我們絕對是可以隨著年齡的增長,變得更有恆毅力的,因為,恆毅力就像學習任何技能一樣,需要練習,假以時日,我們一定可以練出屬於自己的恆毅力的。
在安琪拉 達克沃斯 (Angela Duckworth)的書中,書名是《恆毅力:人生成功的究極能力》(Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance),她強調,天分或努力,都不是成就的唯一條件,持久熱情,再加上堅持毅力,才是最重要的致勝關鍵。我們的恆毅力,並非運氣。能成功,是因為我們灌注熱情;可卓越,是因為我們堅持不懈。「堅持到底,勿忘初心」是我們這個世代最需要的特質,而書中告訴我們,專注一個方向,竭盡所能,充滿熱情地去實踐,並在所有的事物中,洞察各種模式和動機,不斷整合可行的方法,這樣,才能清楚地描繪出「成功」的輪廓。我們生命中的每一段挑戰、挫折、改變與調適,都是需要我們關關難過,關關過的,最終,陪伴我們一生成就的,就只有恆毅力了。恆毅力是我們跨越每一個階段最大的動力。恆毅力也是我們教導孩子,能否度過難關,有能力為自己做選擇的關鍵。我們要用更多充足的愛與陪伴,鍛鍊孩子的恆毅力,讓他們去創造屬於他們自己的成功。也許,社會的價值觀,都是想要追求快、想要速成的,不過,一但我們了解到,唯有日積月累的努力,才能完成時,我們就不會太執著於成效,而忘了失敗才是奠定成功的基石。當我們擁有恆毅力時,我們將會更堅定地朝著自己的目標前進,更不畏任何困難的挑戰與挫折。
Childhood Memories回憶小時候
Childhood memories often involve simple, joyful experiences like playing with friends, spending time with family, learning new things, such as riding a bike or making a kite, or the simple pleasure of eating snacks after school. The memories we formed in childhood are the enduring touchstones to who we are now, and the people we have become. How do we come to terms with our memories of childhood, and find ways to live more creatively now? Maybe, memories of childhood come back to us incompletely. A sense of nostalgia for who we were is still an ongoing work in progress. Perhaps, we only remember fragments of experiences, feelings and places in our childhood, but they remain vital to us. The past, indeed, has affected us. They can shape our self-identities, influence the choices we make, and decide the ways how we interact with others. When we want to strengthen relationships with others or form new ones, we might tap into (挖掘) our childhood memories more than we realize. Memories matter. The more time we take to reminisce, recollect, and share our memories, the more likely those memories are to stay with us and help us grow. Childhood memories have a powerful hold on us, They do have a deep impact on our physical and mental health, and have the power to provide comfort and resilience for us.
Memories are an essential part of the human life. Especially, positive childhood memories, such as happy family moments, supportive relationships and joyful experiences, can foster happiness, confidence and security. Childhood memories can be remarkably strong and influential. These memories, particularly those tied to significant emotional events, can be vivid and deeply ingrained. Obviously, our family and cultural environment significantly influence what memories we form and how we remember them. Family traditions, cultural narratives, and even the ways our families talk about past events can become our childhood memories. They can influence our preferences, our fears, and even our relationship patterns. Growing up, we create countless memories that stay with us for a lifetime, and further, these memories play a significant role in constructing our future selves.
I remember my childhood as a series of vivid and joyful memories that I hold dear to my heart. From playing with my siblings to spending time with my grandparents, each moment was filled with love and laughter. Some of my fondest memories are of summer vacations, where my family and I would travel to different parts of the country and explore new places. I would spend hours collecting seashells on the beach, playing with sand, and building sandcastles. These memories bring a smile to my face even now, and remind me of the carefree spirit I had as a child. I also have fond memories of my grandmother, who taught me to bake my first cake, and instilled in me a love for cooking. I still use her recipes to this day, and often think of her when I’m in the kitchen. These are all my happy and positive childhood experiences. Positive childhood memories really contribute to the development of a healthy, confident personality like me.
Moreover, one of the reasons why childhood memories are so important is that they provide a sense of continuity and stability in our lives. They remind us of the people, places, and things that were important to us, and they serve as a bridge between our past and present. When we revisit our childhood memories, we can see how far we have come, and appreciate the journey we have been on. This sense of continuity and stability helps us feel grounded, and provides a sense of comfort, especially during times of change or uncertainty. As we age, we gradually comprehend that positive childhood memories reduce our stress and anxiety, and improve our self-esteem. They are also the source of inspiration and motivation, reminding us of the things we are capable of and the dreams we once had. Whether it is through photographs, videos, or simply by revisiting these memories in our minds, we need to make an effort to preserve and cherish our childhood memories. In sum, recognizing the importance of our childhood memories enables us to foster a deeper connection with ourselves and others, contributing to a richer, more fulfilling life.
有給才會得
試想看看,在日常生活中,我們是不是無時無刻都在接受別人的給予呢?是的!就連我們現在有手機可以滑、有車子可以開、有電可以用……等等,這一切都是因為曾經有人為此付出努力,我們才能得到。所以,其實我們每個人,無時無刻都在接受別人的付出。然而,這所有的一切,都是理所當然的嗎?當然不是。我們每個人都有給予的能力,我們會幫助過馬路的老人,幫他提東西。我們會捐善款,幫助弱勢,有錢出錢,有力出力。所有我們願意付出的人,都不是為了求得回報,才做這些事的,而我們也明白,給予的同時,獲得的更多。人體就像是一個容器,整個宇宙,是取之不盡、用之不竭的寶庫,任由我們使用。生命的本質是流動,我們通過給予而流動,給予的越多,流入的也就越多。我們願意·創造自己的價值,將自己的能量給出去,在這個世界上,我們做最想做、最有興趣的事情,然後,讓一切的能量流通,我們的能量,就會不斷地傳遞出去,最後,再回到我們自己的身上。
儘管給予者並非為了回報才付出,但是,他們的貢獻,卻可以觸及最多數人,因此,他們潛在的回報,也最多。真心給予者的出發點,一直都是想要貢獻社會的。事實上,給予者能關懷他人,更能強化自我和社會形象。他們懂得將立足點拓寬,呵護自己的精力和時間,然後,貢獻自己的善意和專長,造福自己,同時更造福身邊的所有人。愛因斯坦說:「一個人的價值,應該看他貢獻什麼,而不是看他取得什麼。」未來的世界,肯定是屬於給予者的,因為,給予就像迴力鏢一樣,我們所給予的一切,最後都會反饋到我們自己身上,甚至加倍奉還。其實,在日常生活中,我們常不自覺地,從「給予」中獲得滿足,有些付出,是微小到我們並不意識自己在給予的,然而,如此給予的力量與影響,卻無遠弗屆,不可勝數。譬如,我們給早晨第一班公車司機,一個大大的微笑與早安,我們順手把統一發票,丟進超商的愛心盒裡···等等,我們先拋給世界一顆好球,然後,世界回饋給我們的,卻是一支滿壘的全壘打。給予真的很簡單,只要心念一轉,不僅我們自己快樂,更多的是,別人也可以很快樂。又如,我們給異鄉的母親打通電話,對朋友真誠的感謝,給情人深深的擁抱,給同事肯定的眼神,這些都是給予。身體的擁抱,讓我們感受彼此的溫度,透過肢體的交流,我們感受到暖意與正能量。而精神的擁抱,更讓我們在思想上,可包容他人,願意用同理心,去理解與我們不同的人。我們以為「付出就是給予他人」,最後會發現,付出就是回饋自己。讚美別人,自己也會得到別人的美言。我們給別人一個笑容,自己也會收到回眸的一笑。
給予是迴力鏢效應。我們的正向能量,如付出、給予、誠實、善意、幫助、同理、尊重、影響、圓滿、意義、關注、快樂、認同、感恩等等,就像迴力鏢一樣,是會彈回來的。如果我們對人惡,它也會惡向我們的,實在得不償失。所以,我們要傳遞正向、善意、溫暖與祝福,因為,那最終,就是會回饋到我們自己身上。
當我們給予別人知識,其實,我們將擁有更多的智慧;當我們給予別人勇氣,我們定能擁有更大的力量;當我們給予別人肯定,我們也有更誠摯的尊敬;當我們給予別人關懷,我們會有更深刻的溫暖;當我們給予別人舞台,我們更有寬廣的世界;當我們給予別人機會,我們有更美好的無限可能。我們所擁有的價值,端看我們能給予別人多少價值、及能提升別人多少價值,這才是真正的成功。當我們改變了自己的觀念、態度,在內心真正改變了,於是,我們慢慢會發現,好事會愈來愈多,今天好運、昨天也好運、前天也好運,似乎天天都有好事發生。
給予,不但能讓好事不只成雙,還會時時讓我們保持正向的念頭,並能傳遞出去,這樣,日日都是好日,天天都能添喜。給予永遠可以讓我們去創造自己的未來,讓世界變得更好。地球是圓的,整個世界都在繞著圈子,無論我們有沒有覺知,它一定會繞回來的。「凡你對別人所做的,就是對自己所做的。」這是歷來最偉大的教誨。不管我們對別人做了什麼,那個真正接收的人,並不是別人,而是我們自己。也就是說,當我們給予他人,為別人付出時,那個真正獲利的,也不是別人,而是我們自己。所以,凡事我們希望自己得到的,就必須先讓別人得到。同理,我們若想被愛,就要先去愛人。我們期望被人關心,就要先去關心別人。如果我們希望交到真心的朋友,我們就必須先對朋友真心。如果我們希望快樂,那就去帶給別人快樂,因為,不久之後,我們就會發現自己愈來愈快樂了。我們所能為自己做的最好的事情,就是去為他人多做點好事。己所欲,施於人。凡我們想給予自己的經驗,就給予別人;想別人怎麼對我們,我們就怎麼對待別人。如果我們給予金錢、名聲、任何的事物,我們真的將經歷金錢、名聲、任何事物的倍增。給予就是獲得,凡所有給去的東西,都會回到我們自己的身上的。
吃虧是福氣
吃虧這件事,大多數的人都不會想去經歷,因為吃虧就是被人占便宜、被人欺負,然而,反過來想,吃虧卻是一種磨鍊,甚至是一種福氣。就好比出門旅遊時,其他人搭乘交通工具,而自己卻徒步行走。乍看之下,好像自己吃虧了,但其實沒有。如果用走的方式,既能停下來欣賞沿途的風景,順便拍幾張照片,還能鍛鍊身體及意志,這樣的吃虧,不就是一種福氣嗎?人生有滿有損,有盈有虧,滿足時,其實暗藏了受損之災;對自己有損,就是對他人有益,這樣,在外既能得到人情的平順,在內可使自己心情安穩,既平且安,就是有福了。俗云:「聰明難,糊塗難,由聰明轉入糊塗更難,放一步,退一步,當下安心,非圖後來福報也。」在社會上,人人都想貪小便宜,沒有人要吃虧,但「吃虧是福,難得糊塗」,不是要占便宜,也不是為了福報,而是為了心安,為了人際的平順。雖說吃虧是福,但不是什麼虧都吃,也不能處處都忍讓別人,讓別人占便宜。有時,一味的委屈自己,只會讓別人變本加厲,被當成欺凌的對象。所以,吃虧還是要有底線的,如果會危害自身,就要學會說不。
吃虧是一種智慧。吃虧是福,這是一句真話;吃虧不光是一種境界,更是一種睿智。能吃虧的人,通常一生平安,幸福自在;不能吃虧的人,往往在是非紛爭時,斤斤計較,在狹隘的自我思維中,蒙蔽了自己的雙眼。吃虧是能觀全局的眼光,是精明睿智的妥協,是淡定從容的灑脫,而不是去爭強鬥狠。學會吃虧的藝術,練就包容的心胸,才能在人際交往中,贏得廣泛的人脈資源。吃虧的人,一般來說,都會得到旁觀者的同情,不但贏得好人緣,還會在道義上,得到更多人的支持,為自己構築堅實的人脈。所以,吃虧表面是禍,其實是福;佔便宜,表面是福,其實是禍。奇怪的是,吃虧的人,常常老闆都願意與他合作,而且還會介紹朋友,再擴大到朋友的朋友。「一個人心胸有多大,他做成的事業,就有多大。」那些大成就者,幾乎都是肯吃虧的人。相反地,那些一事無成、庸庸碌碌的人,多半心胸狹窄、斤斤計較、不肯吃虧。
有趣的是,其實,人類是處在一個平衡的系統。當我們的物質付出,超過我們的回報時,我們一定取得某種心理優勢;反之,當我們的物質獲得,超過付出的勞動,甚至不勞而獲時,我們反而會陷入某種心理劣勢。很多人拾金不昧,決不是因為跟錢有仇,而是因為不願意被一時的貪慾,搞壞了長久的心情。換句話說,人沒有無緣無故的得到,也沒有無緣無故的失去的。有時,你是用物質上的不合算,換取精神上的超額快樂。也有時,看似佔了金錢便宜,卻在不知不覺中,透支了精神的快樂。吃虧就是,在物質利益上,不是锱铢必較,而是寬宏大量。在名譽地位面前,不是先聲奪人,而是先人後己。在人際交往中,不是惟我獨尊,而是尊重他人,賞識他人。如此這般以吃虧為榮為樂,勢必也會贏得人們的尊重和賞識。
在12星座中,其中有3星座,特別不怕吃虧,傻人有傻福。雙魚座的日期是2月19日至3月20日。 牡羊座的日期是 3月21日至4月19日。天秤座的日期是 9月23日至10月23日。屬於此3星座的人,處事大方,不愛計較,懂得包容別人,總是先為別人付出。所以,遇到困難時,他們就能得到別人的回報,無形中成為有福氣的人。牡羊座的人,開朗樂觀,對人一向講義氣,當朋友有難,必定伸出援手,而且說到做到,但是,他們傻裡傻氣,不斷付出,也常常把自己累個半死,牡羊可說是典型的傻人有傻福,不是真傻,而是大智若愚,大方不愛計較的個性,讓他們廣交朋友,深得朋友的信賴,有付出就有回報,因此別人有好事,第一個就會想到他們,在他們有困難的時候,四面八方的朋友們,也都會施以援手,先吃虧後享福,無意間就成了有福之人。天秤追求世界和平,做事儘可能把傷害降低,對於越是在乎的人,天秤越是心軟,他們骨子裡有一種柔軟,寧願別人辜負自己,也不要辜負別人,所以,他們最容易受傷吃虧。不過,天秤自帶福氣,從小到大集寵愛於一身,家裡長輩、身邊朋友都能包容他們。他們心裡純淨無比,不知世間險惡,對世界充滿美好的幻想,楚楚可愛的表情,讓人不捨得破壞天秤這麼美好的憧憬。雙魚的內心,就像是個孩子,因為太容易相信別人,而經常吃虧,無論是在感情或事業方面,都會付出沉重代價。雙魚感情非常細膩,懂得包容他人,對人溫和有禮,人際關係很好,異性緣也很不錯,生活裡常受許多異性照顧,對他們噓寒問暖,關懷備至,這樣的雙魚,也算是一個有福氣之人。
人虧天補,是宇宙自然的法則。我們眼前的一切,就是一個補償系統。每一種缺陷,都會由另一種方式,來彌補其不足。每一種痛苦,都會得到回報。每一種犧牲,都會得到報酬。每一筆債,都得償還。吃虧了,宇宙會補給我們。宇宙的補償法則,告訴我們,當我們伸手去幫助那些不幸的人時,我們的努力,沒有白費,宇宙會用某種形式,在適當的時機,回饋給我們。宇宙法則說,我們給予,祂就給予,因為這全都是我們應得的。宇宙的規律就是等價、等值的交換,人只要懂得奉獻,願意吃虧,內心就可以生出一種強大的力量。當你的內心足夠強大時,就有大愛,人際關係自然好,人人都願意跟我們相處、打交道,廣結善緣,廣種善果,自然修得福報。能吃虧是做人的一種境界,會吃虧是處事的一種睿智。吃虧是福,我們生生平安,都能幸福坦然。
自發性的感恩與慈悲 Spontaneous Gratitude and Compassion
自發性的感恩與慈悲,是由我們自己的身體,包括全身的細胞及組織與器官,和我們的內心,涵蓋情緒、感受等,自動發出的感謝與包容,那是人類生存最高的境界。Spontaneous gratitude and compassion are the thanks and tolerance that are automatically expressed by our own bodies, including the cells, tissues and organs throughout the body, and our hearts, covering emotions and feelings. It is the highest state of human existence.
首先,讓我們來談一談,什麼是自發性。在賽斯資料中,賽斯的「自發性」,指的是一種「源於內在真實本我」的自然流露,「不受外在制約或恐懼」影響的狀態。它不是混亂或無序,而是「與宇宙和諧一致」,並能自然地「展現出創造力」的本質。自發性來自於我們最真實的自我,而不是我們所受到的社會規範、恐懼或外在期待。這種自發性,不受外在的控制或壓力所影響,它是一種自由的流動,順應內在的指引。自發性是與宇宙的秩序相協調的,它能讓我們與周圍的環境和諧共處,並自然地展現出創造力。當我們處於自發性的狀態時,我們更容易產生新的想法,並將這些想法付諸實踐。再者,自發性並非混亂或無序,而是一種「有秩序的流動」。它是一種內在的秩序,與外在的大自然相協調,並能自發地展現出創造力。總之,賽斯的自發性是一種「內在的力量」,它能幫助我們活出更真實、更有創造力的生活。
First of all, let’s talk about what spontaneity is. In Seth’s materials, Seth’s “spontaneity” refers to a state of natural expression “derived from the inner true self,” and it is “not affected by external constraints or fear.” It is not chaos or disorder, but it is “harmonious with the universe,” and it can naturally “show creativity.” 賽斯提到,魯柏有非常嚴重的關節炎,賽斯說,如果魯柏願意開始信任他自己,在內心對自己說,告訴自己,我願意信任自己,他就會找到生命的出口。我們需要的是信心。第一,我們要有想找到生命出口的渴望。第二,我們要有自己可以找到生命出口的信心,因為信心是所有一切中最重要的。當一個人開始信任自己時,他身體的盔甲就鬆了,而創造的能力就會變得更容易了。所謂的創造力,就是我們可以以一種過去沒有學過,或不知道的方式,來找到問題的解答。因為信任自己,我們才能信任自己的自發性。所謂的自發性,是所有追求心靈最重要的一個特質。當我們每個人都活在頭腦的框架裡,我們就會有越來越多的擔心、恐懼、和顧慮,而我們的生活,也會變成一座牢籠,我們會困在自己的執著裡。賽斯對魯柏說,他對自己的創造性不信任,所以他才會產生精神性及肉體性的屏障,來對抗他的自發性。也就是說,有時候,我們明明很累了,可是我們的頭腦,卻一直告訴我們要繼續堅持,不肯休息。如果我們能順著自己的內心,不要強迫自己,那麼我們的自發性,會自動療癒身心。但是,如果我們永遠不容許自己軟弱、求助,那麼,我們最後就會面臨最大的軟弱。自發性告訴我們,千萬不要太在意別人的看法,社會的價值,甚至父母的眼光。我們的自發性,會有創造力,這些創造力必須被信任。賽斯希望我們去發掘自己內在的、自發性的自我,及創造性的自我。當我們在人生中,越信任自己時,我們就會越勇於改變,而宇宙也會給我們最豐富的回饋。
Seth mentioned that Robert had the very serious arthritis. Seth said that if Robert was willing to start trusting himself and make a voice in his heart, “I am willing to trust myself,” he would find out his way. What we need is confidence. In the very first place, we must have the desire to find out the way of our lives. Then, we should have the confidence that we can find out the way of our lives because confidence is the most important of all. When a person begins to trust himself, his body loosens, and his creativity becomes easier. Creativity means that we can find solutions to problems that we might not have learned or known in the past. Because we trust ourselves, we can trust our spontaneity. Spontaneity has always been the most important quality of all people in the world. When we live in society, we might have worries, fears, and concerns, and our lives would become a cage, trapped in our own obsessions. Seth told Robert that he did not trust his creative nature, so he himself built spiritual and physical barriers to fight against his spontaneity. That is to say, sometimes, we are obviously very tired, but our minds still keep telling us that we need to insist doing things without rest. However, if we can follow our hearts and don’t force ourselves, our spontaneity would automatically heal our bodies and minds. If we never allow ourselves to be weak and ask for help, and then, in the end, we will face the greatest weaknesses in our lives. The so-called spontaneity tells us that we don’t have to care too much about others’ opinions, outside social values, or even the thoughts of our parents. The spontaneity itself creates its life-giving qualities, which have been trusted by us. Seth hopes that we could explore our inner, spontaneous and creative selves. When we trust ourselves more in life, we will be more courageous to change, and, eventually, the universe will give us more abundant feedback.
其次,感恩的背後意涵是:當我們關注自己所擁有的,而不是所缺乏的,我們就擁有滿足感。這種積極的心態,可以帶給我們更大的幸福感,改善人際關係,和增加面對挑戰時的彈性。感恩可以帶來許多好處,包括改善身體的健康,減輕壓力和焦慮,增加積極情緒,和提高睡眠品質等。透過有意識地關注我們所感恩的人事物,我們將從匱乏轉換成擁抱豐盛的人生。實踐感恩的方法有很多,除了寫下所感恩的人事物、冥想或祈禱、主動表達感謝、尋找機會助人等以外,每天早上起床後,我們都要感謝自己的身體;吃飯的時候,我們要感謝食物的美味,和供應者的辛勞;在工作中,我們要感謝同事的合作與支持。每分每秒,都是我們感恩的大好機會。當我們把握每個時刻,活在當下時,我們就會覺得滿足。但是,當事情並非我們所期待的那樣進展時,我們也要心懷感激,時刻感恩,這樣,即使在困難的處境中,我們也能保持平靜。感恩不僅是一種情感,也是我們用時間,所累積培養出來的能力。每天,我們花一點時間,欣賞生命中,大小的祝福。透過感謝,培養感恩,我們就得到快樂。當我們的心靈充滿希望和感動時,我們才有能力,輕鬆地面對生活中的挑戰,實踐感謝、感激和感恩。
Next, the meaning behind gratitude is: when we focus on what we have, rather than what we lack, we feel satisfied. This positive attitude can bring us greater happiness, improve interpersonal relationships, and increase resilience in the face of challenges. Gratitude can bring many benefits, including physical health, reduced stress and anxiety, positive emotions, and good sleep quality. By very consciously paying attention to the people and things we are grateful for, we will transform from thinking we are lacking to embracing a rich life. There are many ways to practice gratitude, such as writing grateful journals, meditating or praying, actively expressing gratitude, and looking for opportunities to help others. In addition, we should thank our health every morning after getting up; when we eat, we thank the delicious food and the hard work of the suppliers; at work, we thank our colleagues for their cooperation and support. In every minute, it is really a great opportunity for us to be grateful. When we seize the moments and live in the present, we grasp the sense of contentment. However, when things do not go as we expect, we even need to be grateful because by doing so, we can remain calm in difficult situations. Gratitude is not only an emotion, but also an ability for us. Every day, we take a moment to appreciate the blessings in our lives. By giving thanks and cultivating gratitude, we gain happiness. When our hearts are filled with hope and love, we are able to face the challenges of life with ease. We, then, express gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness at all times.
最後,人類最基本的願望,就是能夠過幸福的生活。可是,人類的社會,卻處處充斥著與此願望相抗衡,例如暴力、恣意破壞,及剝削人權等。佛法指出,潛藏於人類生命中最邪惡的欲望之一,就是去控制他人。當這種欲望出現時,人類會變得自以為是,且行剝削、獨裁的手段。而能夠抗拒這種人性中迫害他人的力量的,就是慈悲。慈悲以和所有生命和諧共處為目的,祈願大家都能創造共同的幸福和成長。簡而言之,佛法的慈悲,就是為他人解決煩惱,並賦予喜悅的願望(離苦與樂)。慈悲是發自內心,尊重生命平等,達成同甘共苦的大願。慈悲需要智慧。真正的慈悲,是要讓自己安好,也使他人自強的。而要讓自己與他人都能自立自強,我們最需要的,就是智慧,慈悲與智慧是密不可分的。社會的變革,只能始於人心的轉變。我們如能持續相信,和努力發揮自身與他人與生俱來的慈悲,那麼,我們就能使世界,變得更美好。
Finally, the most basic human desire is to live a happy life. However, human society is full of phenomena that conflict with this desire, such as violence, destruction, and exploitation. Buddhism points out that one of the evilest desires hidden in human life is to control others. When this desire arises, humans will become exploitative and dictatorial. The exact power that would really resist this force of persecutions is compassion. Compassion aims to create common happiness and growth as well as live in harmony with everyone in the world. In short, compassion in Buddhism is the desire to solve the troubles of others and give them joy (relieve suffering and bring happiness). Compassion comes from our inner hearts, respecting others and sharing sufferings with one another. Compassion requires wisdom. True compassion can make ourselves safe and others strong. In fact, compassion and wisdom are inseparable. By way of compassion and wisdom, we could achieve the best social changes. We have to believe in and develop the innate compassion in our lives and others in order to make the world a better place.