What happens when one of us needs quiet and another needs noise? In this episode, I share what our home looked like five years ago, before I understood sensory differences through a neurodivergent lens—and how that understanding changed everything.
I talk about:
Shifting from “behaviors” to needs
How language and modeling matter more than perfection
Managing expectations when sensory profiles collide
The both-and of overstimulation and needing input
Real-life things that help (headphones, breaks, “I’m overdone right now”)
It’s about seeing what’s beneath the behavior and responding with respect, compassion, and care, not shame.
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Content warning: Mentions of suicidality
Skip times : 26:19–26:44 and 40:56–42:21.
In this very vulnerable episode , Scott and I talk about his autism diagnosis and what it’s meant for his mental health.
He shares how validating a diagnosis can be, the real-world challenges of navigating work with ADHD and autism, and why clear communication and context matter so much in relationships.
Scott opens up about sensory management, emotional highs and lows, and why we’re sharing our story—to help someone else feel less alone.
We acknowledge that formal assessment access is unequal—self-diagnosis is valid, and your lived experience matters.
If you’re in the U.S. and need support, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). If outside the U.S., please reach out to your local crisis line or someone you trust.
How you can support us:
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Sometimes you just don’t have the capacity for the things you want to do. In this episode I talk about Spoon Theory, metaphor created by Christine Miserandino to explain what it’s like to live with chronic illness, disability, or limited energy.
If you've ever felt guilty for canceling plans, saying no, or needing rest, this one's for you.
Read the written version on Substack:https://open.substack.com/pub/neurodivergentnotbroken/p/when-i-want-to-but-cant?r=8ndp2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
I chat with Kati Ranae about neurodiversity in education! We touch on:
She highlight why universal accommodations and safe classrooms help everyone, and how masking, faculty roles, and family support shape real student experiences. Press play for practical, compassionate, first-hand insights.
CW/TW (non-graphic): bullying; ED history; self-harm/SI; PTSD; anxiety. Skip: 13:40–16:30; ~19:20–24:20; ~23:56–24:20.
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In this short bonus episode, I share a personal story about my daughter’s sensory needs — and how understanding her helped me see myself differently too.
It’s about regulation, shame, and the moments that shift everything.
Sometimes the real healing starts when we stop trying to “fix” and start to understand.
We don’t all process the world the same way. In this episode, Sam (ADHD) and Scott (Autistic + ADHD) share real stories of sensory clash and connection: restaurants where every conversation floods Scott’s attention, why certain clothes tank his mood, how “just go to the beach” can be sensory hell, and the very real need for recovery time after social or sensory overload.
We get into validation vs. downplaying, boundaries, and accommodations that keep us on the same team. If you’ve ever been told to “just ignore it,” this one’s for you.
What we cover
Why “different” ≠ “overreacting” (sound, texture, temperature, space)
Background sound, clothing, tags, heat, sunscreen, and why beach days can be sensory hell
Validation over minimizing (“it’s fine, just eat it”)
Kids, autonomy, and why exposure isn’t always the answer
Recovery time (shutdown/meltdown, regulation, and repair)
How we plan accommodations before/during/after an event
https://calendly.com/neurodivergentnotbroken/sensory-validation-accommodations-workshop:
https://calendly.com/neurodivergentnotbroken/sensory-validation-accommodations-workshop
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A quick reflection on sensory overwhelm — how it can trigger meltdowns, require long recovery, and why pushing through isn’t the answer. Instead, validation and small accommodations can make all the difference.
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My daughter, who is ADHD and likely Autistic, thrives on routine and needs her clothes to match. Here's how I'm learning to shift from frustration to compassion - and why being willing to accommodate (even when it means being late or inconveniencing others) has made such a difference in our family.
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Scott opens up about what’s really happening in his brain during everyday interactions—juggling eye contact, reading body language, and overanalyzing every word.
He shares an analogy that compares masking and coping to running modern software on an outdated computer, and how that constant background processing eventually leads to burnout.
Follow along with us over on:
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentnotbroken/
We can put so much pressure on ourselves as parents to be on time. But sometimes, the best thing we can do is choose connection over the clock.
"Shaming myself for those moments doesn’t help. Just like shaming her — or anyone else — for struggling doesn’t help."
- Sam Nelson
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Ashley pushes back on the myth.
“People will say, ‘They’ll eat when they’re hungry.’ That is one of the biggest lies you’re told about a child who’s neurodivergent — because he would rather starve than eat a food that sensory-wise causes him so much discomfort: the smell, the texture, the color, even the shape.”
- Ashley Ostoff
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The biggest thing that changed my marriage wasn't therapy or date nights - it was understanding our ADHD and Autistic brains.
* And don't worry, I'm not anti-therapy. I see my therapist regularly!
There’s such a stigma around screen time — but for Ashley’s autistic son, his iPad is a safe space he can always count on being the same.
🎙️ Catch the full conversation with Ashley in Episode 2: Let Them Lead.
❤️ If this resonates, leave a quick rating or review — it helps more families find this space.
What happens when you stop trying to control everything — and start letting your child lead the way?
In this episode, I sit down with my best friend Ashley as she shares her journey raising her autistic son, Huxley, and the powerful shifts that came with following his cues.
🎧 This one will change how you think about parenting.
Key Points:
Why following a child’s lead matters in parenting.
How to push back against societal expectations and embrace individual needs.
Personal stories of growth and understanding from Ashley’s family.
Practical tips for creating a supportive environment for neurodivergent kids.
❤️ If this resonates, leave a quick rating or review — it helps more families find this space.
Ways to connect with us!
Substack:https://neurodivergentnotbroken.substack.com/?utm_campaign=profile_chips
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Support Space: https://calendly.com/neurodivergentnotbroken
This week I sit down with my best friend, Ashley, to talk about what it means to Let Them Lead.
For her and her family it was learning to let go of control while raising their autistic son- even when it comes to toys lined up across the house, color-coordinated candy piles, or pillows on the dining room floor.
Our hope is that by sharing our story honestly—and with some humor along the way—you’ll feel less alone in your own journey.
Connect with us on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentnotbroken/
Not everything makes the final cut.
When you're finally diagnosed ADHD and told to get a planner...very funny! Just in case you didn't know, Cool Beans is cool again.
Listen to episode 1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6x5TmGcZiHMUPACXq3R5bO?si=ohntRdiSTBWGndB5lBAEuQ
Hang out with us over on IG:https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentnotbroken/
In this very first episode of Neurodivergent, Not Broken, Scott and I open up about our personal journeys with neurodivergence. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 33, and Scott later discovered he was both ADHD and autistic. Those diagnoses reshaped not just how we saw ourselves, but how we showed up for each other and for our kids.
We talk about the initial shock and relief of receiving a diagnosis, the challenges of navigating family life through this new lens, and the ways understanding neurodivergence has changed our marriage and parenting.
Our hope is that by sharing our story honestly—and with some humor along the way—you’ll feel less alone in your own journey.
Our NDNB Community gets episode Insights + Reflections: https://neurodivergentnotbroken.kit.com/f218316760
Listen to Sam's guest episodes on The Startin' Some Ripples Podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6CUMM5l7AYg9NFBlz7hHej?si=yNfFe4sSQISEJjGgGlwjYA
https://open.spotify.com/episode/51LFwoqYUsHaF0Wb77mJMz?si=Iw29mXrHSCaPn1diBcc9HQ
Scott has a pressing question.
Connect with NDNB: https://neurodivergentnotbroken.kit.com/f218316760
In this very first episode of Neurodivergent, Not Broken, Scott and I open up about our personal journeys with neurodivergence. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 33, and Scott later discovered he was both ADHD and autistic. Those diagnoses reshaped not just how we saw ourselves, but how we showed up for each other and for our kids.
We talk about the initial shock and relief of receiving a diagnosis, the challenges of navigating family life through this new lens, and the ways understanding neurodivergence has changed our marriage and parenting.
Our hope is that by sharing our story honestly—and with some humor along the way—you’ll feel less alone in your own journey.
Connect with NDNB: https://neurodivergentnotbroken.kit.com/f218316760
Listen to Sam's guest episodes on The Startin' Some Ripples Podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6CUMM5l7AYg9NFBlz7hHej?si=yNfFe4sSQISEJjGgGlwjYA
https://open.spotify.com/episode/51LFwoqYUsHaF0Wb77mJMz?si=Iw29mXrHSCaPn1diBcc9HQ
Welcome to the Neurodivergent, Not Broken Podcast! Check out our bloopers!