In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin and guest, Diana Magallon Romero, Licensed Clinical Counselor, delve into the complex topic of grief, exploring its many facets and surprise- grief goes way beyond the loss of life. Vanessa and Diana discuss how grief is a response to change, whether it's losing a loved one, a friend, a job, or even a way of life. Diana shares her insights as a clinical counselor, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and processing grief to find meaning and heali...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the concept of denial as a psychological defense mechanism. She discusses how denial can provide temporary comfort but ultimately leads to greater issues if not confronted. Through personal anecdotes and societal examples, she illustrates the dangers of denial and offers strategies for facing difficult truths. The episode also addresses health anxiety and the importance of acknowledging one's fears regarding medical visits. Listene...

It's the holiday season, and it's a time when people feel many things. Sometimes it's not all cheer or all good. This time of year can be hard on people because of stress, loneliness or real life pressure. The intensity of everything being "joyous" can feel like a heavy weight. We want to lighten things up with some real talk about lonely feelings-- and to suggest a few solutions. This episode is for you if you need a little boost and don't feel quite like whooping it up at the celebration. W...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin delves into the intricacies of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), exploring its unique approach and why it often gets misunderstood. She highlights the therapy's blend of cognitive techniques with mindfulness and emotion regulation, and discusses its potential pitfalls when applied rigidly. Vanessa offers alternative strategies for distress tolerance and emphasizes the importance of context and flexibility in therapy. Thanks for listenin...

Hello Listener: If you’re enjoying this show: Please don’t forget to subscribe, rate the podcast and share with friends. Thank you for listening, wherever you are, around the globe. In this episode, Vanessa discusses her recording with podcast host and author, Kate Moryoussef, for the December 18th, 2025 episode of the “ADHD Women's Wellbeing” podcast. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-womens-wellbeing-podcast/id1605386171 In that episode of the ADHD Women’s Well-being Podcast,...

In this episode, Vanessa provides real information about how chronic pain makes changes in your brain. She talks about the difficulties of coping with chronic pain and its invisibility to others around the person in pain. Vanessa discusses the very real pitfalls of chronic pain management programs and how they can facilitate shame instead of healing. Most importantly, this episode dives into ways that people with chronic pain can live full and meaningful lives. Vanessa explains how people liv...

Happy Thanksgiving, 2025 ! In honor of the day before Thanksgiving being a big travel day in the United States-- we're publishing a day early, in case it's a fun companion for your travels. No matter where in the world you are-- you're getting an extended episode this week. But our podcast is heard in 37 countries and counting, so let us say: we wish you great holiday if you're celebrating. The focus of this episode is Taylor Swift's "Eldest Daughter," and we're referencing a...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin discusses the concept of a 'good vibes brain bank'—a mental space where individuals can deposit their small victories to combat negativity bias and enhance self-efficacy. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and celebrating minor accomplishments, which can significantly impact mental health and resilience. Through personal anecdotes and practical strategies, listeners are encouraged to build their own brain banks to foster a positiv...

Join Vanessa Gorelkin as she delves into the complexities of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and the misconceptions surrounding it. In this episode, Vanessa discusses the internet's tendency to mislabel emotional women as borderline and the impact of such stigmatization. She also offers practical advice for those overwhelmed by emotions, whether or not they have a BPD diagnosis. Here are links to the movies mentioned in this epiosde-- they're worth a watch! Fatal Attraction: https...

Hey Listeners — did you catch the title reference? It’s a line from a 1990's movie. Think you know it? Email me at realoveridealpod@gmail.com with your guess — or if you just can’t stand the suspense before I reveal it in a future episode. 😊 This week, I’m talking about accessibility at work — not as a checkbox or a charity gesture, but as a real engine for innovation and creativity. The idea came from my colleague Dr. Daniel Balva, who invited me to join a project highlighting the importanc...

It's just about Halloween, so that's why you've gotten such a scary title for an episode that hopefully will bring some rationality to the thought that the world and we are simply doomed. In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa explores the pervasive feeling of doom that many experience in today's world. She discusses the impact of constant negative news, the science behind our stress responses, and offers practical, research-based strategies to cope with these feelings. The episode also ...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the themes of misinformation and the importance of critical thinking in the age of social media. Using the iconic film The Breakfast Club as a backdrop, she discusses the Barnum Effect and how it influences our perception of truth. Vanessa emphasizes the need for media literacy and the importance of distinguishing between lived experience and expertise. She provides practical tips for finding unbiased sources and encourages listene...

In this conversation concerning pearls of wisdom from Tracy Otsuka, Host of ADHD for Smart Ass Women Podcast, we explore the complexities of ADHD, practical tips for managing symptoms, the importance of identity, and the role of creativity and curiosity in neurodivergent individuals. Tracy & Vanessa share personal anecdotes and insights on navigating a neurotypical world, emphasizing the significance of finding one's passion -- and Tracy even offers some thoughts on the impact of ho...

In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the concept of aging, challenging societal norms and embracing the wisdom and creativity that come with age. Is it all about dieting and resistance to change? Aging for many people has become a cocktail of GLP-1 medications, skincare routines, and looking back to when we were younger than today. But where does acceptance fit in? In this episode of Real Over Ideal, we explore the the evidence, hype and the mindset shifts that really matter if yo...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin delves into the concept of Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), exploring its emotional impact, particularly for those with ADHD. She discusses the physiological responses to perceived rejection and offers practical strategies for managing these intense feelings. The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding RSD, developing coping mechanisms, and fostering open communication about emotional experiences. Takeaways Rejection-s...

**Update: Since this episode was recorded: Real Over Ideal has been downloaded in a total of 33 countries! Thank you for the support from: USA, Canada, Germany, Singapore, UK, Brazil, Argentina, Czechia, Australia, Poland, France, India, South Africa, Denmark, Puerto Rico, Netherlands, Finland, UAE, Iceland, Italy, Poland, Ireland, Zambia, Greece, Ghana, Morocco, Malaysia, Serbia, Vietnam, Ecuador, Turkey, Philippinesl & Uraguay. In this episode of "Real Over Ideal," Vanessa talks a...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin and Andrew Luber discuss Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID), exploring its definition, subtypes, and the lived experiences of those affected. Andrew shares his personal journey with ARFID, highlighting the challenges and coping strategies he has developed. The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding, support, and humor in navigating the complexities of ARFID, while also providing practical tips for managing th...

Time Blindness, Executive Function and ADHD Strategies In this episode of "Real Over Ideal," Vanessa delves into the concept of time blindness and its impact on our daily lives. This one is not just for people with ADHD-- but for anyone who can relate to overwhelm and anxiety from all of the juggling our daily lives demand. Discover six practical strategies to work with your brain, not against it, in managing time effectively. From externalizing clocks to gamifying tasks, Vanessa ...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, host Vanessa Gorelkin and guest expert, Jessica Cook delve into the complexities of relationships, focusing on boundaries, conflict resolution, and the impact of social media. They discuss the importance of vulnerability and emotional awareness in navigating interpersonal dynamics, as well as the concept of the rupture-repair cycle, which emphasizes the potential for growth and deeper connection following conflicts. The conversation also touches...

It's "Back to School" time-- and even if you're not a student and don't have one in your life right now: this time of year can bring up a lot of "feels." Late diagnosis of ADHD is a real thing, and people express a lot of sadness and grief-- but also relief about the diagnosis. In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin discusses the often overlooked issue of late ADHD diagnosis, particularly among women. She highlights the emotional struggles that accompany this late diagnosis, inc...