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Standing Nowhere
Jacob Buehler
21 episodes
1 day ago
You've been defending this "you" your whole life—getting offended when criticized, proud when praised, anxious about what others think. But what if the self you're protecting doesn't actually exist? This episode explores ego and the illusion of the separate self. Not as abstract philosophy, but as something you can observe right now. Watch your thoughts arise. Did you decide to think that? Or did the thought just appear? If you didn't choose it, who's the "you" that claims ownership of it? Th...
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Spirituality
Education,
Religion & Spirituality,
Society & Culture,
Philosophy,
Self-Improvement
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You've been defending this "you" your whole life—getting offended when criticized, proud when praised, anxious about what others think. But what if the self you're protecting doesn't actually exist? This episode explores ego and the illusion of the separate self. Not as abstract philosophy, but as something you can observe right now. Watch your thoughts arise. Did you decide to think that? Or did the thought just appear? If you didn't choose it, who's the "you" that claims ownership of it? Th...
Show more...
Spirituality
Education,
Religion & Spirituality,
Society & Culture,
Philosophy,
Self-Improvement
Episodes (20/21)
Standing Nowhere
Understanding Ego: The Illusion of the Separate Self
You've been defending this "you" your whole life—getting offended when criticized, proud when praised, anxious about what others think. But what if the self you're protecting doesn't actually exist? This episode explores ego and the illusion of the separate self. Not as abstract philosophy, but as something you can observe right now. Watch your thoughts arise. Did you decide to think that? Or did the thought just appear? If you didn't choose it, who's the "you" that claims ownership of it? Th...
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6 days ago
32 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Why Rest Isn't Optional: Finding Peace When You Can't Afford to Stop Working
I can't afford to take time off. But I also can't afford not to take time off. That's the bind I've been in—and maybe you're there too. This week, I hit rock bottom. Burnt out, behind on bills, working 50-60 hours a week and still sinking. My body finally said: Stop. Now. So I took an unscheduled week of rest, even though I couldn't afford it. And that forced pause revealed something I'd been missing: rest isn't the pit stop before getting back to work—it's the finish line. Drawing from the H...
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1 week ago
30 minutes

Standing Nowhere
From Loneliness to Solitude: Finding Yourself When All Your Friends Are Gone
In your twenties, it’s easy to feel like you’ll always belong somewhere — a friend group, a workplace, a Saturday night ritual that feels like home. But what happens when those circles fade, and you suddenly find yourself everywhere in the city… yet belonging nowhere? In this deeply personal episode, Jacob shares the story of poker nights and found-family friendships, the sudden loss of someone who helped anchor his world, and the quiet isolation of gig work that left him feeling like a ghost...
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2 weeks ago
47 minutes

Standing Nowhere
How Laughing at Scorpions and Mosquitoes Saved My Spiritual Life
Three years ago I was broke, sharing an apartment with scorpions, and couldn't see a way forward. Then I discovered that laughter—the real, spontaneous kind—can be a powerful spiritual practice. In this episode we explore why ego and humor can't coexist, and how laughing at yourself transforms everything from meditation to life's hardest moments. What we cover: The scorpion story and the spiritual breakthrough that followedWhy heaviness is "spiritual death" and lightness is lifeHow to spot th...
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3 weeks ago
36 minutes

Standing Nowhere
What to Do When Fear Is Paralyzing You (A Practical Guide from Rock Bottom)
Working 63-hour weeks with no AC in my car, behind on bills, applying for IT jobs I'm not sure I'm qualified for, and terrified every podcast episode isn't good enough. That's where I've been the last two weeks—and that's what this episode is really about. This isn't a theoretical discussion about fear. It's me working through financial anxiety, self-doubt, and the paralysis that comes when you're drowning but still have to show up every day. I share the spiritual practices that actually help...
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1 month ago
27 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Why You Can't Stop Wanting Things (And How to Finally Be Free)
I've quit alcohol and cannabis. Kicked my energy drink habit that was costing me $150-200 a month. But I still can't stop buying ice cream at the end of brutal work days. And I'm obsessed with making this podcast perfect, going back to edit old episodes when I should just let them be. This episode is about attachment, desire, and why we can't stop wanting things even when we know they're not making us happy. It's not about becoming a monk or renouncing everything—it's about nothing owning you...
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1 month ago
36 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Why Your Spirituality Might Just Be Ego in Disguise (Spiritual Materialism Explained)
Kill the Buddha? In this episode I unpack the famous Zen koan to expose spiritual materialism—the way ego hijacks spirituality and turns it into another identity. I explore the subtle traps: virtue signaling on Instagram, treating meditation like a badge, weaponizing scripture, and using "awakeness" to feel superior. We look at how to ground practice in real life—on the cushion, in traffic, in hard conversations. The simple moves that bring you back: breath, honesty, humility, and beginner's ...
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1 month ago
45 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Why Smart, Strong People Stay in Abusive Relationships (ft. Therapist & Author Kate Mageau)
"Why didn't you just leave?" It's the question everyone asks about domestic violence - until they hear Kate Mageau's story and realize how trauma bonds, gaslighting, and the cycle of violence make leaving the most dangerous moment of all. Kate is a licensed therapist (LMHC, ADHD-CCSP), author, and toxic relationship survivor. In this conversation, we explore her memoir Rose Colored Glasses and unpack the psychology behind why smart, strong people stay in abusive relationships. We discuss the ...
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1 month ago
53 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Stop Overthinking and Just Move: Why Analysis Paralysis Is Killing Your Dreams
I delayed launching this podcast for almost a year. I was prepared after six months, but I kept researching, planning, perfecting—until my 42nd birthday forced me to face the truth: I was wobbling. Analysis paralysis had me stuck in a living death, and I wasn't actually living my life. This episode is about hesitation, fear, and what Zen calls "wobbling"—standing in two places, never fully present, paralyzed by uncertainty about outcomes. We explore why overthinking is worse than imperfect ac...
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2 months ago
49 minutes

Standing Nowhere
How My Mom Survived 11 Years of Abuse, Raised 5 Kids Alone, and Found Faith in the Fire
My first podcast guest is my mom, Diane Buehler—and this conversation goes places I never expected. She shares stories I'd never heard in detail: growing up on five acres in Indiana eating the pigs she raised for 4-H, hitchhiking as a teenager in California, joining a traveling Christian theater group that performed in San Quentin, and meeting my dad at Bible college over joints and parties that led to 11 years of domestic violence. This is a raw, honest conversation about survival. Mom share...
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2 months ago
1 hour 11 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Why I Flipped Off a Driver 45 Minutes After Meditating (And What Anger Actually Is)
Forty-five minutes after meditating, feeling centered and peaceful, I flipped off a driver who cut me off on the freeway—with my kids in the car. He slammed on his brakes. I almost rear-ended him. I flipped him off again. He braked harder. The guy who was floating on a meditation cushion that morning was now blind with rage, endangering his own children over getting cut off in traffic. This episode is about anger—the fire that burns the house you live in while you wave your fists at the neigh...
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2 months ago
48 minutes

Standing Nowhere
The Harder You Try, The Worse It Gets: Effort, Striving & Letting Go
This is episode 10—a milestone that's making me nervous as hell right now. I get the heebie-jeebies every time I sit down to record. I turn into a motor mouth. I overthink every word. And that's exactly what this episode is about: the harder you try, the worse it gets. Forty-five minutes after meditating, I flipped off a driver and almost caused an accident. When I practice meditation too tightly, thoughts flood in more intensely. When I force myself to win at Overwatch, I choke under pressur...
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2 months ago
1 hour

Standing Nowhere
The Silence You're Afraid to Face: Why Daily Practice Isn't Optional Anymore
I was outlining this episode on a Friday night during a pickup at a noisy sushi bar, surrounded by laughter and music, quietly drafting notes about stillness. The irony wasn't lost on me—but that's exactly when the teaching comes, in the chaos before you learn to find the silence within. This episode is about why daily spiritual practice isn't optional anymore. Not because it's virtuous or enlightened, but because I was cracked open. I hit rock bottom thinking "it would be easier not to exist...
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3 months ago
36 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Reverence to Be: Finding Gratitude When Life Feels Like a Failure
I was carrying a 40-pack of water up three flights of stairs in 115-degree Arizona heat, sweating through my shirt, for a customer who barely tipped—and I felt grateful. Not sarcastically. Actually grateful. Because this is my life right now: a gig worker in my 40s, forced to accept 70% of all orders or get no work at all, making $20,000 less than last year while working more hours, taking orders that feel humiliating. And somewhere in those stairs, I chose reverence instead of resentment. Th...
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3 months ago
50 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Life Is But a Dream: Finding Your True Self in Art, Loss, and Letting Go
This isn't a music review—it's a spiritual reflection on a piece of art that changed how I see life and death. Avenged Sevenfold's Life Is But a Dream is a meditation on losing yourself, dissolving the ego, and discovering you were never separate from the cosmic dance. If you've never heard the band or this album, you'll still get everything from this episode. But if you listen while I walk you through it, bring tissues—especially for track 5. We explore the album as a journey: "Game Over" (l...
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3 months ago
35 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Everything You Love Is Dying: How to Let Go Without Falling Apart
I threw my sunglasses on the ground and watched them shatter. My brother had just spent all day helping me fix my car in brutal heat—again—and when we took it for a test drive, there was a loud squealing sound. My brain panicked. I hadn't slept well in days. I'd just quit smoking weed to stop numbing myself. I was behind on rent and bills. And I lost it. Threw my favorite sunglasses—the ones I'd done thousands of deliveries with—onto the pavement and watched them break. So much for being the ...
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3 months ago
42 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Stop Forcing It: How Stillness Changes Habits When Willpower Fails
My clutch pedal sank to the floor halfway through a Chipotle delivery. I heard a pop, the pedal hit the ground, and my income vanished instantly. I'm a gig worker—no car means no money. It's Sunday as I record this, the Kia dealership doesn't open until Monday, and I have no idea how I'm paying my bills next week. I lost $250 in earnings today. But I remembered the Dalai Lama: "If you can fix a problem, there's no need to worry. If you can't, there's no need to worry. There is never a time to...
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3 months ago
42 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Going Beyond Words: What Mysticism Actually Means (And Why You Need It)
When I tell people I'm into mysticism, they think I'm talking about Harry Potter magic. But mysticism isn't supernatural—it's experiencing reality directly instead of through the conceptual filters we've layered over everything since childhood. This episode demystifies mysticism by showing how concepts—while useful—aren't actually real. An inch doesn't exist. If you zoom in infinitely, there's no fixed starting point. The equator is imaginary. "Tree" is just a word we taught our kids to layer...
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4 months ago
47 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Go Ahead—Try Not to Think for 10 Minutes (A Mindfulness Experiment)
Go ahead—try not to think a single thought for the next ten minutes. Let me know how far you get. This episode is different. Instead of me giving you a word salad about reality, I'm inviting you to experience yourself for yourself through a guided mindfulness experiment. Sit down in a dignified posture—upright but not uptight—and watch your breath. Don't control it, don't slow it down, just watch. Notice thoughts arise. Don't judge them. Just see if you can catch the thought before it appears...
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4 months ago
45 minutes

Standing Nowhere
Standing Nowhere: Why Clinging to Any Belief (Even Atheism) Keeps You Trapped
I reached a point where not existing seemed more appealing than existing. That's a sad state of mind. But something shifted—a paradigm inside me changed everything. Now I'm under just as much stress (maybe more), but I have space inside. Joy. Elation. Enough energy to carve out time for this podcast. How does someone go from daydreaming about a car taking them out to feeling this alive? This episode is about standing nowhere—not clinging to any rigid concept about reality, whether that's "God...
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4 months ago
1 hour 3 minutes

Standing Nowhere
You've been defending this "you" your whole life—getting offended when criticized, proud when praised, anxious about what others think. But what if the self you're protecting doesn't actually exist? This episode explores ego and the illusion of the separate self. Not as abstract philosophy, but as something you can observe right now. Watch your thoughts arise. Did you decide to think that? Or did the thought just appear? If you didn't choose it, who's the "you" that claims ownership of it? Th...