In this episode, Grace Bithell discusses the complexities of New Year's resolutions, particularly the pressure to achieve perfection and the guilt that often accompanies unmet goals. She advocates for embracing partial efforts and celebrating progress, regardless of the outcome. Grace encourages listeners to shift their focus from rigid goal-setting to exploring feelings and desires, promoting a more compassionate approach to self-improvement. Ultimately, she suggests that instead of traditional resolutions, we should aim for 'New Year's vibes' that prioritize enjoyment and personal values. Show Sponsor: https://airdoctorpro.com use code GUILT for up to $300 off takeaways Guiltaholics often struggle with New Year's resolutions. Partial effort is valuable and should be embraced. Progress should be celebrated, even if it's not perfect. It's okay to fail at goals; it can lead to growth. Life is too short to pursue perfection. Goals should focus on feelings rather than strict outcomes. New Year's resolutions can be replaced with 'New Year's vibes.' Enjoying the journey is as important as the destination. Recognizing small achievements is crucial for motivation. Self-acceptance is key to personal growth. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Grace Bithell explores the complexities of struggling to enjoy motherhood, addressing the guilt and shame that often accompany the experience. She shares her personal journey of wanting to be a mom while grappling with her feelings towards children. Grace discusses the importance of childcare for social development, the messy realities of parenting, and the impact of comparison with other mothers. She emphasizes that motherhood is a relationship rather than a series of tasks and encourages embracing imperfection in parenting. Ultimately, she advocates for recognizing the unique parenting styles that contribute to raising diverse children. Show Sponsor: https://airdoctorpro.com use code GUILT for up to $300 off takeaways Motherhood can bring guilt and shame. It's okay to not enjoy every aspect of parenting. Childcare is beneficial for children's social development. Comparison with other mothers can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Motherhood is more about the relationship than tasks. It's normal to have hard days as a parent. Embracing imperfection is key to parenting. Every child is unique, and so is every parent. You can still be a good mom even if you don't love every moment. Diverse parenting styles are essential for raising diverse kids. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this conversation, Grace Bithell explores the complexities of boundaries, guilt, and relationships. She shares personal anecdotes, particularly about cultural quirks in Utah, and delves into how guilt and people-pleasing affect our ability to set healthy boundaries. She talks about how to set boundaries gently and in a connection oriented way and how to not feel crippling guilt after. Grace emphasizes the importance of aligning boundaries with personal values and the necessity of accepting distress as a natural part of life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this conversation, Grace Bithell reflects on the shame people feel over mental health diagnoses. She explores the societal perceptions of mental health, the stigma surrounding diagnoses, and the impact of mental illness on personal identity and relationships. Grace emphasizes the importance of understanding mental health as a challenge rather than a deficit, advocating for compassion and acceptance in navigating relationships affected by mental health issues. takeaways Mental health diagnoses can carry stigma and shame. Society has made progress in accepting mental health issues. Diagnosis can be both validating and burdensome. Mental illness should be viewed as a challenge, not a deficit. Disability encompasses a wide range of experiences and should be accommodated. Output should not define a person's worth or value. Relationships can be strained by mental health challenges. Compassion and understanding are crucial in supporting loved ones. It's important to recognize the complexity of mental health diagnoses. Everyone deserves love and acceptance, regardless of their struggles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summary In this Christmas episode, Grace Bithell discusses the guilt and pressure many women feel during the holiday season. She explores the societal expectations surrounding Christmas, the emotional challenges that arise, and the importance of reframing the holiday experience to focus on rest and self-care. Grace emphasizes the need for boundaries and encourages listeners to create their own holiday magic, reminding them that it's okay to not feel happy and that simplicity can lead to meaningful experiences. She also talks through her christas meal of funeral potato croquettes, tater tot poutine, and crab rotolo takeaways Many women feel guilty for not enjoying Christmas. Societal expectations place pressure on women to create holiday joy. It's okay to feel sad during the holidays; emotions are valid. The word 'should' can create unnecessary guilt and pressure. Christmas should also be a time for rest and relaxation. Simplifying holiday traditions can lead to more meaningful experiences. Setting boundaries during the holidays is important for mental health. Self-care is essential; it's okay to prioritize your own joy. Creating holiday magic for yourself is important. Kids benefit from seeing their parents take time for themselves. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summary In this conversation, Grace Bithell explores the often cringeworthy experiences of being a teenager, discussing the embarrassment and awkwardness that many face during high school. Through personal anecdotes, she emphasizes the importance of understanding and accepting these moments as part of adolescent development. You are dumb because you are supposed to me. Grace encourages listeners to embrace their past selves and recognize that the challenges of teenage years are essential for personal growth. She also offers insights for parents on how to navigate their teenagers' messy journeys of self-discovery. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this conversation, Grace Bithell explores the complex interplay between religious beliefs, shame, and guilt, particularly from a Christian perspective. She delves into the concept of religious trauma, the impact of moral systems, cognitive distortions, and the development of self-worth in relation to religious teachings. Grace emphasizes the importance of understanding boundaries, the role of fear in religious contexts, and the potential for healing from religious guilt. Throughout the discussion, she advocates for a compassionate approach to faith that allows for imperfection and personal growth. Sponsored by: https://www.curehydration.com/guiltgirl get 20% off with code GUILTGIRL takeaways Religious trauma can stem from harsh teachings and fear-based control. Moral systems in religion can lead to perfectionism and guilt. Cognitive distortions often create an all-or-nothing mentality in believers. Identity development is closely tied to self-worth in religious contexts. Boundaries are essential for mental health and should not be seen as selfish. Fear-based teachings in religion can hinder personal growth and happiness. Healing from religious guilt is possible and can coexist with faith. It's important to challenge the narratives imposed by religious teachings. Shame thrives in secrecy and can be alleviated through openness. A loving God would not want us to feel bad about ourselves. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summary In this conversation, Grace Bithell explores various themes surrounding gender roles, motherhood, mental health, relationships, and emotional abuse. She discusses the societal perceptions of women and men, the challenges of motherhood, and the impact of reality television on mental health. Grace also delves into the complexities of relationships, infidelity, and the nuances of masculinity, while emphasizing the importance of recognizing emotional abuse and validating individual experiences of trauma. Takeaways We think that when a woman takes on a man's job it makes her more when a man takes on a woman's job it makes him less Therapy can be healing but isn't a cure-all. Many women on reality TV are navigating postpartum challenges. We should be sympathetic to the mental health struggles of mothers. Young mothers in the spotlight face unique pressures. Infidelity can be complex and subjective in relationships. Masculinity is often tied to societal expectations and pressures. Emotional abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of status. Self-worth can be impacted by external perceptions and experiences. Trauma should not be compared; each experience is valid. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summary In this conversation, Grace Bithell delves into the intricate relationship between PTSD and OCD, exploring their comorbidity, treatment challenges, and the importance of understanding how trauma influences OCD symptoms. She emphasizes the need for a dual approach in therapy, addressing both conditions simultaneously while navigating the complexities of treatment modalities. The discussion highlights the significance of finding the right therapist and the hope for healing through changing one's narrative and perspective on life. Sponsor: https://airdoctorpro.com/ use code GUILT for up to $300 0ff Takeaways OCD and PTSD often coexist, with a 25% comorbidity rate. Treatment for OCD and PTSD can contradict each other. Trauma can exacerbate OCD symptoms and vice versa. Finding safety is crucial in trauma treatment, while tolerating discomfort is key in OCD treatment. Nightmares can be a symptom of both PTSD and OCD. Therapists need to be trained in both areas for effective treatment. The narrative of feeling wrong can hinder recovery. Clients should be open to trying different therapeutic approaches. Healing is possible, and clients can feel differently in life. Therapy is both an art and a science, requiring flexibility. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered what a therapist would think of throne of glass? In this episode race Bithell explores the mental health aspects of the character Selena Sardotian from the book Throne of Glass. She discusses the importance of a biopsychosocial assessment in understanding a person's holistic health, particularly in the context of trauma. The conversation delves into various themes including physical health, emotional regulation, social dynamics, spirituality, and therapeutic approaches, emphasizing the complexity of trauma and the need for tailored therapeutic strategies. takeaways Celaena likely has CPTSD Arrobyn is a predator Throne of Glass is praised for its accurate portrayal of mental health issues. A biopsychosocial assessment is crucial for understanding a person's holistic health. Physical health, including nutrition, is foundational for mental well-being. Trauma can significantly impact emotional regulation and self-esteem. Social relationships and support systems are vital for recovery from trauma. Education and employment can provide stability and resources for healing. Spiritual beliefs and moral injuries can affect a person's sense of purpose. Therapeutic approaches must be tailored to the individual's unique experiences and needs. Building rapport and trust is essential in therapy, especially for trauma survivors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this conversation, explores the theme of belonging, reflecting on her personal journey from high school to adulthood. She discusses the challenges of finding connection during her formative years, the importance of self-acceptance, and the proactive steps she took to create meaningful relationships. She shared how belonging is the opposite of shame and shame keeps you from belonging. Grace emphasizes that belonging is not just about fitting in with others but also about accepting oneself and deciding who you want to be. Through her experiences, she highlights the significance of loving others and the impact of social dynamics on our sense of belonging. Takeaways Belonging is a core value that guides life decisions. High school experiences can shape our understanding of belonging. College can provide a wider range of social opportunities but can still be challenging. True belonging often comes from unexpected relationships. Self-acceptance is crucial for feeling a sense of belonging. Creating connections requires proactive effort and vulnerability. Deciding who you want to be is more important than searching for identity. Loving others can enhance your ability to love yourself. Navigating relationships can be complicated, especially after trauma. Belonging can be found in professional spaces, even among those perceived as more successful. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Grace Bithell delves into the complex emotions surrounding suicide and self-harm, addressing the guilt and shame often associated with these experiences. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying purposes of suicidal thoughts and self-harm, exploring the neurobiological factors that contribute to these feelings. Grace advocates for a compassionate approach to mental health, encouraging listeners to redefine their identities beyond their struggles and to recognize the resilience within themselves. takeaways Guilt and shame around suicide are common but unhelpful. Suicidal ideation often serves as a means of escape. Self-harm can be a way to manifest inner pain. Understanding the neurobiology of suicidal thoughts is crucial. Blame can provide a false sense of control after a suicide. We should not define ourselves by our worst moments. Mental illness is not a choice; it happens to us. Compassion towards oneself is essential in healing. Everyone has their own coping mechanisms, which may not be healthy. Redefining identity beyond mental health struggles is empowering. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Grace Bithell welcomes Joy Bouchard to discuss her experience as a therapist featured on the reality show 'Secret Lives of Mormon Wives' and the intricacies of EMDR therapy. They explore the phases of EMDR, its effectiveness in treating trauma, particularly sexual trauma, and the importance of support systems in therapy. Joy shares insights on the misconceptions surrounding EMDR and emphasizes the empowerment it brings to clients in their healing journey. The conversation also touches on the role of shame and guilt in therapy, the necessity of referrals for couples therapy, and lighthearted moments from Joy's filming experience. Takeaways Joy discusses how she was approached to be on the reality show. The filming process for EMDR sessions was respectful and focused on healing. EMDR consists of eight phases, each crucial for effective therapy. Shame and guilt are significant issues that EMDR can help address. Support from partners is essential in trauma recovery. EMDR empowers clients to reclaim their narrative and control. Therapists must be trauma-informed to effectively support clients. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding EMDR's process. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summary In this episode, Grace explores the theme of making mistakes and struggling with balancing accountability and self compassion when you've messed up in big ways. She discusses the complexities of parenting, the nature of self forgiveness and accountability versus shame, and the importance of recognizing that life can be messy. Grace emphasizes that everyone is supposed to mess up and that it's never too late to make changes. She encourages listeners to find joy in the little things and to understand the function of their feelings of guilt and shame. Takeaways You are supposed to mess up in life. Messy lives do not define your worth. Accountability is different from shame. It's never too late to make positive changes. Self-forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. Understanding the function of guilt can aid healing. Life is allowed to be messy and complicated. Finding joy in small moments is essential. Everyone has the capacity for growth and change. Sponsored by:cozy earth. Use the code GUILTY at https://cozyearth.com for 20% off your order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

summary In this bonus episode, Grace  reacts to Season 2 of 'Nobody Wants This,' exploring themes of relationships, love, and the ethical dilemmas faced by therapists. She discusses the realistic portrayal of relationships in the show, the complexities of love and marriage, and the importance of communication and agreement on fundamental issues. She also calls out Dr. Andy for being the worst, and emphasizes the significance of support in friendships, especially in the context of emotional abuse. The episode concludes with reflections on the little things in life that contribute to happiness and fulfillment. takeaways Love alone is not enough to make a marriage work. Healthy relationships require good communication. Marriage involves practical agreements beyond love. Ethics in therapy are crucial for client safety. Dr. Andy is the worst Morgan is super hot Sasha is hotter than Noah Supportive friendships are vital during tough times. Life is defined by everyday moments, not just milestones. Divorce can be necessary for personal happiness. Therapists should maintain ethical boundaries with clients. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

summary In this episode, Grace Bithell discusses the complexities of decision-making, particularly in relation to people pleasing and the guilt that often accompanies choices. She emphasizes the importance of separating choices from their consequences and advocates for values-guided decision-making as a way to alleviate guilt. Grace also highlights the necessity of disappointment in life and relationships, encouraging listeners to embrace their values and make choices that align with them, even if it means disappointing others. takeaways People pleasing can lead to guilt and indecision. Making choices often involves balancing personal desires with others' expectations. Disappointment is a natural part of relationships and decision-making. It's important to separate choices from their consequences to reduce guilt. Values should guide decision-making rather than fear of disappointing others. Understanding that not all hard consequences are bad can help in decision-making. Radical acceptance of the imperfection in choices can lead to greater peace. Identifying personal values can clarify decision-making processes. Disappointing others can sometimes be necessary for personal growth. It's essential to trust that loved ones will support you even when you disappoint them. keywordspeople pleasing, decision making, consequences, values, self-sacrifice, relationships, choices, guilt, acceptance, commitment therapy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this conversation, Grace Bithell and Betty Flores delve into the complexities of mom guilt and shame, exploring their definitions, impacts, and the cultural pressures that contribute to these feelings. They discuss the importance of self-compassion, community support, and the need for open conversations about motherhood. The episode emphasizes that while guilt can serve as a motivator for improvement, shame often leads to isolation and despair. The speakers encourage mothers to acknowledge their humanity, seek help, and embrace their imperfections as part of the parenting journey. Sponsored by: Cozy earth! Use the code GUILTY to get 20% off your next purchase and stack it on top of their black friday sale for up to 40% off https://cozyearth.com/ Takeaways Mom guilt is often confused with mom shame, but they are different. Guilt can motivate change, while shame leads to isolation. Self-compassion is crucial for mothers navigating guilt and shame. Cultural expectations contribute significantly to feelings of guilt. Community support can help alleviate feelings of isolation in motherhood. Acknowledging one's needs is essential for effective parenting. Mothers should challenge unrealistic societal 'shoulds'. Open conversations about motherhood can reduce feelings of shame. It's important to recognize that all parents make mistakes. Finding a therapist trained in perinatal mental health can be beneficial. Keywordsmom guilt, mom shame, perinatal mental health, parenting, self-compassion, motherhood, mental health, support, community, cultural influences Chapters00:00 Understanding Mom Guilt and Shame09:59 Navigating Guilt and Shame in Parenting19:20 Societal Pressures and Expectations on Moms22:25 The Illusion of Perfection in Motherhood25:13 Navigating Guilt and Shame in Parenting30:30 Embracing Imperfection and Community Support33:46 Finding Help and Resources for New Moms35:45 Guilty Pleasures and the Human Experience39:38 Sunny Day Parade.mp3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, Grace Bithell and Melissa Spaulding delve into the complexities of self-esteem, exploring its definitions, societal influences, and the distinction between self-esteem and inherent worth. They discuss the emotional roller coaster that self-esteem can create, particularly for women, and how societal expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy. The conversation emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's inherent value and offers practical steps for relying on value over self esteem, including reframing negative thoughts and practicing affirmations. The episode concludes with a light-hearted discussion about guilty pleasures, highlighting the importance of self-acceptance and joy in everyday life. takeaways Self-esteem is our ability to esteem ourselves. Self-esteem can vary widely based on external factors. The concept of 'stuff esteem' can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Inherent worth is about recognizing value simply because we exist. Societal pressures can heavily influence women's self-esteem. Other esteem is the validation we seek from others. Wanting and desiring are powerful aspects of self-acceptance. Reframing negative thoughts can help improve self-esteem. Affirmations should start from where we are, not where we want to be. Guilty pleasures can be a source of joy and self-acceptance. keywords self-esteem, mental health, inherent worth, emotional well-being, self-acceptance, therapy, personal growth, self-worth, societal expectations, women empowerment Chapters 00:00Introduction to Self-Esteem and Personal Background 02:42Defining Self-Esteem: A Complex Concept 05:13The Roller Coaster of Self-Esteem 07:57The Roots of Self-Esteem: Childhood Experiences 10:29Inherent Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem 13:10Understanding Inherent Value 16:02The Impact of Relationships on Self-Worth 18:28Navigating Self-Esteem in Adulthood 21:15The Pursuit of Other Esteem 24:12Understanding Self-Worth and External Validation 27:02The Balance of Care and Importance 29:52The Moving Target of Self-Esteem 31:31Societal Pressures on Women 34:24Sustainable Change vs. Treat Culture 36:48Practical Steps for Change 41:15The Power of Wanting and Desiring 45:46Sunny Day Parade.mp3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

summary In this episode, Grace Bithell shares her experiences and insights on guilt, choices, and the nature of life. She recounts her participation in a bake-off, discusses her guilty pleasures, and offers ten valuable lessons for those struggling with guilt and shame. The conversation emphasizes the importance of accepting imperfection, understanding judgment, and recognizing that discomfort is a natural part of life. Grace encourages listeners to embrace their flaws and to remember that life is not as serious as it often feels. takeaways Most choices don’t have right or wrong answers and even if it doesn’t turn out well that doesn’t mean you picked wrong People are judging you and that’s okay People like you flawed You’re allowed to be bad at things You’re allowed to do bad things Whatever perceived failure you think is holding you pack probably isn’t the problem You can’t earn love Comparing will never help you  It’s not bad to feel discomfort (aka you can’t pray or function away hard things)  We’re all just on a floating rock and it’s not that serious Chapters 00:00Introduction and Bake-Off Experience 04:21Guilty Pleasures and Episode Overview 04:48Lessons for Guiltaholics: Embracing Imperfection 17:53Understanding Guilt and Mistakes 25:34Life's Discomforts and the Importance of Perspective 29:59Sunny Day Parade.mp3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

summary In this episode, Grace Bithell discusses the themes of guilt in shame in calling in sick. She shares her experiences with calling out of work, the pressure to perform, and the societal expectations that contribute to feelings of inadequacy. Grace emphasizes the need to prioritize mental health, recognize burnout, and understand that taking sick days is a valid and necessary part of life. Through humor and relatable anecdotes, she encourages listeners to embrace their humanity and let go of the guilt associated with needing time off. takeaways The podcast creates a community where listeners feel understood. Grace shares her dream of winning a bake-off and the unexpected scarecrow competition. Guilt about calling out of work is a common experience, especially for women. Burnout occurs when input does not equal output in our lives. Self-worth should not be tied solely to work performance. It's important to recognize that taking sick days is necessary for health. You cannot destroy your life as easily as you think you can. Work is a transaction, and you owe it only so much. Your identity is not solely defined by your job. Values alignment is crucial for a fulfilling work-life balance. Chapters 00:00Introduction and Giveaway Announcement 04:11Guilty Pleasures: The Great British Bake Off 08:49The Guilt of Calling Out of Work 20:30Understanding Burnout and Self-Worth 27:41Conclusion: Embracing Sick Days 29:25Sunny Day Parade.mp3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices