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Untethering Shame
Kyira Wackett
196 episodes
3 days ago
New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame. 
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Mental Health
Health & Fitness
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All content for Untethering Shame is the property of Kyira Wackett and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame. 
Show more...
Mental Health
Health & Fitness
Episodes (20/196)
Untethering Shame
🎙️Ask Me Anything – E28: When Your Brain Won’t Shut Off (Ruminating at Bedtime)

In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a listener question about nighttime rumination — that racing mind that won’t quiet down no matter how tired you are.

Kyira unpacks why anxious thoughts spike at night, how shame and avoidance make it worse, and what it actually takes to create safety in your nervous system so rest feels possible. This episode explores practical tools for containment, self-compassion, and redefining rest — not as perfection, but as permission.


💡 Key Takeaways

  • Your brain isn’t broken — it’s trying to process what it didn’t have space for earlier.
  • Containment (writing things down) calms your system more than suppression.
  • Rituals create predictability that signals safety to your body.
  • Respond to anxious thoughts with reassurance, not judgment.
  • Rest is more than sleep — it’s any moment your body feels allowed to slow down.


🗣️ Submit Your Question

Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.

Show more...
1 week ago
7 minutes 42 seconds

Untethering Shame
Shame & Emotional Repression: The Hidden Cost of “Holding It Together” with Bronwyn Schweigerdt

In this episode, Kyira welcomes back Bronwyn Schweigerdt, licensed marriage and family therapist and self-described “anger expert,” for part two of their powerful discussion on emotional repression and radical self-integration.

Together, they unpack what happens when we silence our emotions — and what it takes to finally listen to them. Bronwyn guides Kyira through an integration exercise that becomes an intimate exploration of abandonment, worthiness, and self-acceptance.

Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

  • The difference between emotional suppression and repression — and how they shape our lives
  • How childhood conditioning teaches us to disconnect from anger and truth
  • The role of shame and abandonment in adult triggers and relationships
  • A step-by-step process for integrating your younger self and reclaiming emotional safety
  • How healing yourself creates generational change

If you’ve ever felt like you know your story but still can’t move past it, this episode will help you find language, compassion, and tools to bridge that gap — without abandoning yourself in the process.

🪞 Connect with Bronwyn Schweigerdt

Website: www.bronwynschweigerdt.com

Podcast: Angry at the Right Things

Instagram: @bronwynschweigerdt

💬 If this episode spoke to you, share your reflections — I’d love to hear what came up for you.

Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠”
  • ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠

Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠
  • ⁠YouTube⁠
  • ⁠Website⁠

💬 You are not your content. Your worth exists offline too.

#ShameResilience #EmotionalHealing #AdversityRising #UntetheringShame

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1 week ago
58 minutes 59 seconds

Untethering Shame
🎙️Ask Me Anything – E27: When You Can’t Be There (Shame & Caregiving from Afar)

In this week’s AMA, Kyira responds to a listener navigating the guilt and shame of loving a parent from afar after a serious health diagnosis. Despite knowing his dad doesn’t expect him to drop everything, he feels like a “bad son” for not being there in person.

Kyira explores the tension between love, distance, and limits — and how shame often confuses grief with failure. This episode offers gentle reframes and grounding tools for redefining what it means to show up when you can’t be physically present.


💡 Key Takeaways

  • Presence isn’t defined by proximity — love can exist across distance.
  • Guilt often hides grief; naming it helps release self-blame.
  • Shame tries to turn limits into proof of failure.
  • Self-compassion and boundaries make sustainable care possible.
  • Connection is measured in intention, not in miles.


🗣️ Submit Your Question

Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.

Show more...
2 weeks ago
5 minutes 46 seconds

Untethering Shame
Shame & The Healing Backslide: Why It’s Normal to Revisit Old Patterns with Sabrina Trobak

Kyira reconnects with Sabrina Trobak, registered counselor, clinical supervisor, and author of Not Good Enough, to explore what happens when healing isn’t linear. Together, they unpack the moments that feel like setbacks—when shame whispers, “I should know better”—and reframe them as invitations to deepen awareness and meet ourselves with compassion. They discuss core beliefs like “not good enough” and the ways we distract through busyness, anger, or perfectionism. Sabrina offers tools—emotions lists, curiosity over judgment, and boundaries—to help listeners move from self-criticism toward understanding and remember that healing unfolds layer by layer, not all at once.


Key Takeaways

  • Healing isn’t linear—it’s layered. Progress includes revisiting old wounds. Each return offers new insight rather than evidence of failure.
  • Core beliefs drive reactivity. Many of our frustrations, anxieties, and people-pleasing tendencies stem from internalized beliefs like I’m not good enough. Awareness is the first step to softening their grip.
  • Judgment fuels shame; curiosity dissolves it. The shift from “Why did I do that?” to “What made me do that?” opens the door to compassion and lasting change.
  • Boundaries come later in healing. Setting and maintaining boundaries requires self-trust and belief in your own worth—it’s not a starting point but an evolution of inner work.
  • Emotional avoidance keeps us stuck. Busyness, anger, and even perfectionism often mask discomfort and vulnerability. Slowing down to feel is the real work.
  • Relapse or regression is not failure. When familiar coping mechanisms resurface, it’s a cue—not a condemnation. These moments signal areas that need attention, not judgment.
  • Awareness tools can ground healing. Using an emotions list, journaling, or listing triggers and connected core beliefs can help map what’s happening beneath the surface.
  • Loneliness begins within. Feeling lonely isn’t about who’s around us—it’s about our relationship with ourselves. The more content we become internally, the less we seek external validation.
  • The goal isn’t perfection—it’s peace. The more we accept that healing is lifelong, the less pressure we feel to “arrive.” Contentment exists in the middle, not at the end.
  • Curiosity is the antidote to shame. Meeting your behaviors and emotions with openness rather than judgment transforms self-criticism into empowerment.


More about Sabrina:

I am a registered counsellor and is the author of Not Good Enough: Understanding your Core Belief and Anxiety. I am also a clinical supervisor and public speaker with a masters in counseling psychology. Prior to becoming a counsellor, I was a teacher, vice principal and school counselor for over 20 years. I have extensive training in resolving past trauma and the impact trauma has on a person including anxiety and core belief.


Connect with Sabrina:

  • Website
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Not Good Enough: Understanding your Core Belief and Anxiety


Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
  • Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.


Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
  • YouTube
  • Website
Show more...
2 weeks ago
52 minutes 2 seconds

Untethering Shame
🎙️Ask Me Anything – E26: When Planning Steals the Present

In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a listener who’s realized their planning often comes at the cost of being present. Many of us over-plan not because we love control, but because control feels safe — it helps us avoid the shame of things going wrong.

Kyira breaks down how to shift from planning as protection to planning as preparation, using simple mindset and body-based tools to help you stop over-orchestrating and start living the moments you work so hard to create.


💡 Key Takeaways

  • Planning is often a nervous system strategy for safety, not just a skill.
  • Set a “done” point to help transition from preparing to participating.
  • Presence is a muscle built through small rituals and conscious permission.
  • Discomfort is part of connection — not a sign you failed to plan enough.
  • Joy and meaning live in participation, not perfection.


🗣️ Submit Your Question

Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.

Show more...
2 weeks ago
7 minutes 47 seconds

Untethering Shame
Shame & Money: Rewriting the “I’m Bad with Money” Story with Michelle Waymire

In this heartfelt and eye-opening conversation, Kyira sits down with Michelle Waymire, a queer, anti-capitalist financial advisor and founder of Young + Scrappy, to explore the deep intersection of shame and money.

Together, they unpack the beliefs and stories we carry about money—stories often formed in childhood—that shape our self-worth, safety, and sense of control. Michelle shares her own early experiences with privilege and how they informed her journey toward more compassionate, values-based financial work.

From the myth of being “bad with money” to the toxic narratives of hustle culture and financial perfectionism, Kyira and Michelle reframe what it means to be in relationship with money. They invite listeners to approach finances not as a measure of worth but as an evolving, deeply personal practice of self-trust, curiosity, and care.

The episode dives into practical and emotional layers alike: how to detach shame from financial mistakes, how to talk about money with children without passing on our anxieties, and how to begin shifting from scarcity and control to neutrality and self-compassion.

Whether you’re working to pay down debt, trying to feel safer in your financial decisions, or just tired of feeling like you’re doing it “wrong,” this conversation will help you see money in a radically new light.


✨ Key Takeaways:

  • Money stories start early. Our beliefs about worth, safety, and belonging often take root in childhood, long before we ever earn a paycheck.
  • Shame thrives in silence. Talking openly about money—and the emotions tied to it—is the first step toward dismantling self-judgment.
  • Neutrality creates freedom. Numbers themselves aren’t good or bad; it’s the stories and emotions we attach to them that fuel shame.
  • Our relationship with money is iterative. Like any other form of growth, it evolves with time, experience, and compassion for our past selves.
  • Values matter more than perfection. Spending and saving aligned with what truly matters to you leads to financial peace, not rigid control.
  • Parenting and money mirror each other. How we model curiosity, autonomy, and boundaries around money teaches our children self-trust—not fear.
  • There’s no such thing as being “bad with money.” Every financial journey holds both mistakes and wins; noticing the wins helps rewrite your story.
  • Shame disconnects; curiosity reconnects. Moving from “I’m bad with money” to “I’m learning about money” opens the door to growth.
  • Financial wellness is emotional wellness. Healing money shame means healing the parts of us that believe we’re not enough.
  • Progress over perfection. The goal isn’t to fix your finances overnight—it’s to build a kinder, more resilient relationship with them over time.


More about Michelle:

Michelle is a queer, anti-capitalist financial advisor and coach and the founder of two financial services companies: Young & Scrappy and Glimmer Financial. They are passionate about supporting marginalized groups in building a better relationship with their money, so that they can live joyful and abundant lives.


Connect with Michelle:

  • Young & Scrappy
  • Glimmer Financial


Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
  • Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.


Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
  • YouTube
  • Website


Show more...
3 weeks ago
52 minutes 54 seconds

Untethering Shame
🎙️Ask Me Anything – E25: When It’s Not About You (But It Still Hurts)

In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a question from a listener who works in a job where they’re constantly being yelled at — not because they’ve done something wrong, but because they’re the one standing in front of people when things go wrong. Even when you know it isn’t personal, it can still feel personal. So how do you hold onto your empathy without letting shame or resentment take over?

Kyira explores the tension between logic and emotion — why your nervous system reacts as if you’re under attack, even when your brain knows better — and how to protect your dignity without losing your compassion. This episode is about reclaiming your sense of peace in the face of others’ chaos, learning to name what’s yours (and what’s not), and remembering that caring doesn’t mean carrying.


💡 Key Takeaways

  • Your nervous system reacts faster than logic — even when you know it’s not about you, your body still feels the threat.
  • Boundaries protect your dignity and keep you grounded in your values.
  • Empathy doesn’t mean absorbing other people’s emotions or taking on their work.
  • Anger isn’t a flaw — it’s a signal that your boundaries have been crossed.
  • Create small rituals to reset and release what isn’t yours.


🔗 Resources & Mentions

  • Join the Boundaried & Brave challenge to deepen your work around emotional boundaries and self-trust.


Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast

Show more...
4 weeks ago
9 minutes 52 seconds

Untethering Shame
Shame & Being Dangerous: The Revolutionary Act of Loving Yourself with The Tracy Piper

A year after her first appearance, artist The Tracy Piper returns to Untethering Shame to talk about her evolution from loud advocate to deeply self-aware creator — and how being dangerous became her new form of love and resistance.

In this powerful conversation, Tracy and Kyira explore how vulnerability, rest, and authenticity threaten systems that profit from our numbness. They unpack the “dangerous” act of taking up space, setting boundaries, saying no, and believing we are worthy — even when it challenges old stories, relationships, and cultural conditioning.

Together, they invite listeners to rethink what it means to be dangerous — not as harm, but as healing — and to see how doing the work of self-love and radical acceptance can be a revolution in itself.


Key Takeaways

  1. Dangerous doesn’t mean harmful — it means disruptive.

    True danger lies in being brave enough to rest, speak up, and love yourself in a world that thrives on burnout and compliance.

  2. Rest is rebellion.

    Taking a nap, saying no, or slowing down can trigger shame and fear because our brains have learned these acts are “unsafe.” Learning to rest is a form of reprogramming.

  3. We’re not that important — and that’s freeing.

    Letting go of the illusion that the world will fall apart if we stop allows us to reclaim balance, presence, and boundaries.

  4. Radical acceptance means choosing what’s yours to carry.

    You can’t control how others respond, but you can stop reinforcing your own suffering by trying to manage everything.

  5. Authenticity is dangerous to systems that depend on your silence.

    Whether it’s family dynamics, hustle culture, or gender expectations, showing up truthfully challenges the status quo.

  6. Vulnerability builds community.

    The most dangerous — and healing — act is to let yourself be seen, loved, and connected, even when it feels safer to go it alone.

  7. Art as activism.

    Tracy’s Dangerous tour invites audiences to explore self-love through creativity, offering visual permission to rest, reflect, and reconnect.


More About Tracy:

The Tracy Piper is a contemporary painter, muralist, and activist whose vibrant figurative work celebrates self-love, empowerment, and the radical act of authenticity. A former circus performer turned full-time artist, Tracy’s work merges bold color with emotional honesty to challenge the narratives that keep us small and silent.

Her newest exhibition, Dangerous: A Pop-Up Art Experience, explores the revolutionary power of self-acceptance and the idea that loving yourself in a world that profits from your doubt is the most dangerous act of all. Based in the Bay Area, Tracy’s art has been featured in galleries across the U.S., and she continues to use her platform to foster connection, conversation, and creative rebellion.


Connect with Tracy

  • Website & Art: thetracypiper.com
  • Instagram: @thetracypiper
  • Dangerous Pop-Up Tour Dates: Portland (Nov 6–9), Miami (Art Basel Weekend), San Francisco (Summer 2026)
  • Merch Line: Soft Rebellion sweaters and tees available at thetracypiper.com


Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
  • Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.


Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
  • YouTube
  • Website
Show more...
4 weeks ago
48 minutes 36 seconds

Untethering Shame
🎙️Ask Me Anything – E24: Why Can’t I Keep It All Together Without Crashing?

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“Kyira, I feel like I’m always running at 100%, sometimes even 110%, just to keep everything together. I tell myself I’m fine, but then one small thing tips me over and I completely crash. Why does this keep happening, and how do I break the cycle without feeling like I’m failing?”

If you’ve ever lived on the edge of burnout, calling it “normal,” you know how exhausting and defeating that cycle can feel. We’re taught that giving our all means giving everything, all the time—but what if the truth is that sustainability actually lives at 80%, not 100?

Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

  • Why our idea of “100% capacity” is rooted in hustle culture and survival
  • The crash-and-burn cycle and why it’s not a personal failure
  • What it means to treat 80% as the new 100%
  • Practical shifts that help you design a sustainable system for your life
  • How to separate your worth from your output

If you’ve ever felt like “fine until I’m not fine” is your baseline, this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the shame cycle — together.

Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.
  • ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.

Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.
  • ⁠YouTube⁠
  • ⁠Website⁠

💬 Rest isn’t laziness—it’s what makes your life sustainable.

#AskMeAnything #BurnoutRecovery #ShameResilience #SustainableLiving #AdversityRising


Show more...
1 month ago
7 minutes 46 seconds

Untethering Shame
Shame & the Shoulds: Unlearning Who You Were Told to Be with Mikkel Leslie

In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with Mikkel Leslie — coach, author, and advocate for living a life that truly feels like yours — to explore the intersection of shame, anxiety, and the “ideal self.”

“We’ve spent our whole lives being told who we should be. At some point, we stop asking what actually feels right for us.”

Mikkel shares her story of leaving behind a successful but misaligned career in engineering and tech to rediscover her authentic self — a journey that included burnout, anxiety, and a reckoning with the stories she was taught about worth, stability, and success. Together, we unpack how early conditioning shapes our choices, how anxiety keeps us performing and conforming, and what it really means to reconnect with the emotional and physical cues that tell us who we are.

Inside this episode, we talk about:

  • The “conveyor belt” of expectation and how it leads us away from who we really are
  • What happens when your achievements don’t feel fulfilling — and why money or success can’t fix internal disconnection
  • The shame spiral that keeps us stuck in roles that look “right” but feel wrong
  • How anxiety disconnects us from our emotions and body — and how to rebuild that relationship
  • The role of self-compassion as a tool for clarity, not just comfort
  • Learning to breathe, pause, and create space to ask, “What do I actually want?”
  • The tension between paying the bills and pursuing your truth — and how to find both balance and bravery in transition
  • Letting go of the fear of judgment when redefining success on your own terms

If you’ve ever felt like you were living someone else’s version of your life, this episode is for you.

  1. You can’t think your way to your ideal self. You have to feel your way there.
  2. Pause before you pivot. The answers come in the stillness, not the scramble.
  3. Self-compassion isn’t indulgence — it’s clarity.
  4. Anxiety disconnects us from our intuition. Healing starts when we reconnect body, mind, and emotion.
  5. You’re not behind — you’re just ready to live differently.

More about Mikkel:

Mikkel Leslie is a champion, author, and coach for those ready to live their own lives. She has coached hundreds of individuals awakening them to their potential. Before coaching, Mikkel went through her own journey of self-exploration, moving from what she was supposed to do, to what she is passionate about. Her journey started with engineering, tech, and sales and has led her to inspiring others to stand up for their own lives. You will find her at the beach in Southern California with her husband and pet plants.

Connect with Mikkel:

  • Instagram

Ready to take the next step?

  • Join the ⁠Boundaries & Brave Email Challenge⁠
  • ⁠Submit a Question⁠ for the Podcast
  • Download the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
  • ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
  • YouTube
  • Website

🧭 Key Takeaways

Show more...
1 month ago
54 minutes 31 seconds

Untethering Shame
🎙️Ask Me Anything – E23: Am I Wrong for Limiting My Parents’ Access to My Kids?

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“My parents act like they have a right to unlimited access to my kids, even though they barely respect me as their parent. How do I deal with their guilt trips without cutting them off completely?”

This is one of the toughest dynamics adult children face: navigating the expectations parents bring into the grandparent role. When access to your kids gets demanded instead of earned, it can create huge tension and guilt.

Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

  • Why grandparent access isn’t an automatic right
  • How guilt trips erode trust instead of building connection
  • Why respecting you as the parent is the foundation of being included as a grandparent
  • Practical ways to set boundaries around your kids without severing ties completely

If you’ve ever felt torn between protecting your children and avoiding conflict with your parents, this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.
  • ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.

Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.
  • ⁠YouTube⁠
  • ⁠Website⁠

💬 Being a grandparent is a privilege, not a right — and it begins with respecting your child as the parent.

#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ParentingAndShame #ShameResilience #AdversityRising


Show more...
1 month ago
6 minutes 37 seconds

Untethering Shame
Shame & Creative Inhibition: Unlearning the Fear of Making with Shannon MacFarlane

In this episode of Untethering Shame, Kyira sits down with photographer, painter, and grief educator Shannon McFarland to explore the intersection of shame and creativity.

Many of us grow up believing creativity is something we either have or don’t—a gift reserved for the “artistic.” Shannon challenges that belief, inviting us to see creativity as a practice of presence, process, and self-expression rather than performance or perfection. Together, she and Kyira unpack how early criticism, evaluation, and comparison can silence our creative voices, and how reclaiming that voice is one of the most powerful ways to reconnect with ourselves.

From stories about art class trauma and commissioned work to lessons from teaching painting in nursing facilities, Shannon reminds us that creativity isn’t about talent—it’s about curiosity, safety, and willingness to take risks. The conversation also touches on parenting, self-compassion, and how to model creative freedom for the next generation.

If you’ve ever said “I’m not creative,” or stopped yourself from making something because it wouldn’t be “good enough,” this episode will help you see that creativity lives in the way you dress, solve problems, make dinner, and respond to life itself.


Key Takeaways:

  • Creativity is a practice, not a product. It’s something we nurture through curiosity, mistakes, and repetition—not something we’re born with or without.
  • Evaluation kills exploration. When creativity becomes about grades, praise, or performance, it shuts down our willingness to take risks.
  • Shame often begins early. A single comment from a teacher, parent, or peer can silence creativity for decades; awareness helps us break that cycle.
  • Safety is the foundation for self-expression. People can only create freely when they feel emotionally safe, seen, and unjudged.
  • Art as connection. Rather than evaluating what a person makes, focus on what it means and what emotions or memories it evokes.
  • Creativity lives everywhere. From cooking and organizing to problem-solving and parenting, we express creativity daily—even if we don’t call it that.
  • Let go of external standards. The value of your art—or any act of creation—doesn’t depend on whether others “get it.”
  • Model what you want to nurture. Children (and adults) learn creativity by watching us take risks, make mistakes, and create for joy, not validation.
  • Repurpose and celebrate. Host small art shows, reuse creative work, or make gifts—rituals that honor the process while keeping it playful.
  • Creativity is an act of radical self-connection. It invites us to reenter our own lives, find meaning in imperfection, and reconnect with wonder.


More about Shannon:

I'm a quirky, awkward, and kinda endearing person who cares a whole lot. I'm really interested in difficult, uncomfortable things and being present while those are being worked through, whether it's my stuff or someone else's. People know me as a photographer, painter, grief educator, and art teacher.


Connect with Shannon:

  • Website
  • Instagram
  • Substack


Ready to take the next step?

  • Join the ⁠Boundaries & Brave Email Challenge⁠
  • ⁠Submit a Question⁠ for the Podcast
  • Download the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
  • ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.


Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
  • YouTube
  • Website


Show more...
1 month ago
1 hour 3 minutes 38 seconds

Untethering Shame
🎙️Ask Me Anything – E22: Why Do I Feel Like the Villain Every Time I Set a Boundary with My Mom?

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“Why do I feel like the villain every time I set a boundary with my mom? I’ll say no to something simple, and suddenly I’m the worst child in the world. How do I not get crushed by the guilt?”

If you’ve ever tried to set a boundary with a parent — only to be met with anger, guilt trips, or silence — you know how brutal it can feel. Boundaries are meant to protect relationships, but when parents push back, it can leave you drowning in shame.

Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

  • Why boundaries are not rejection but an act of love
  • The difference between your guilt and their discomfort
  • How “boundary backlash” shows up in families
  • Practical ways to hold the line without over-explaining or apologizing

If you’ve ever felt like setting a boundary makes you the “bad guy,” this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.
  • ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.

Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.
  • ⁠YouTube⁠
  • ⁠Website⁠

💬 Boundaries are not rejection — they’re the doorway to healthier connection.

#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising

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1 month ago
5 minutes 4 seconds

Untethering Shame
Shame, Food & All-or-Nothing Thinking with Renae Saager

In this episode of Untethering Shame, Kyira sits down with coach Renae for a candid and powerful conversation about control, perfectionism, food, body image, and the cycles we often get stuck in when trying to “fix” ourselves.

Together, they explore why so many high-achieving women find themselves trapped in all-or-nothing thinking—whether with dieting, work, relationships, or overcommitting—and how shame and self-doubt fuel these cycles. Renae shares her own experiences with food and body image, the dangers of living for external validation, and how real change begins when we learn to tolerate discomfort, let go of impossible ideals, and ask the question: Do I even want to keep doing this?

The conversation covers the messy middle between shame and growth, the cultural messages that reinforce perfection, and the freedom that comes when we step out of survival mode and start creating lives aligned with our actual values.

Listeners will walk away with both validation and practical tools to reframe their relationship with food, success, and self-worth—reminders that being “perfectly imperfect” is not only enough, it’s where real peace lives.

Key Takeaways:

  • All-or-nothing thinking keeps us stuck in shame cycles—lasting change requires embracing imperfection.
  • Food, dieting, alcohol, and overwork often serve as coping tools for deeper issues of worth and belonging.
  • Social media snapshots and cultural messages fuel the myth of the “ideal self,” but the real self will always ebb and flow.
  • External validation feels good in the short term, but true security comes from cultivating internal self-worth.
  • Asking “Do I actually want to keep doing this?” is a powerful first step to breaking autopilot patterns.
  • High achievers often over-function to cover shame; learning to sit with discomfort opens the door to healthier choices.
  • Intention matters: the same behavior (e.g., working out, eating a salad) can either be shame-driven or value-driven.
  • Letting others be responsible for themselves is not selfish—it’s an act of respect and emotional maturity.
  • Recovery and growth exist on a spectrum; some days will feel “on point,” and others messy, but both are valid.
  • Ultimately, freedom comes from learning to approach life with curiosity and compassion instead of control and fear.

More about Renae:

Renae Saager is a sharp, straight-talking mindset coach who helps high-achieving women stop secretly bingeing, obsessing over food, and pretending everything’s “fine” when it’s clearly not. After years of living a double life with food—binging, restricting, hiding, and punishing herself—Renae broke free. Today, she coaches women to do the same: no diets, no shame, no starting over every Monday.

Connect with Renae:

  • Website
  • Podcast
  • 1-Sheet
  • Instagram

Ready to take the next step?

  • Join the Boundaries & Brave Email Challenge
  • Submit a Question for the Podcast
  • Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
  • Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
  • YouTube
  • Website


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1 month ago
53 minutes 22 seconds

Untethering Shame
🎙️Ask Me Anything – E21: Am I Ungrateful If I Don’t Want to Pay for My Parents?

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“Every time I go out with my parents, they expect me to pay — like it’s just assumed now because I ‘make more money.’ I’m drowning in bills myself. How do I set boundaries without looking ungrateful?”

Money is one of the biggest sources of tension in adult parent–child relationships. When parents expect their adult kids to pick up the tab — or worse, cover their expenses — it can feel like love is being measured in dollars. But the truth is: you don’t owe your parents financial support, and your worth as a child isn’t defined by whether you pay.

Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

  • Why financial expectations from parents can feel so heavy
  • How guilt and “you owe me” narratives get tied to money
  • Why love and money should never be confused
  • Practical ways to set financial boundaries without collapsing into guilt

If you’ve ever wondered whether saying “no” makes you ungrateful, this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.
  • ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.

Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.
  • ⁠YouTube⁠
  • ⁠Website⁠

💬 Boundaries around money aren’t selfish — they’re necessary for healthy relationships.

#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #MoneyAndShame #ShameResilience #AdversityRising


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1 month ago
6 minutes 1 second

Untethering Shame
Shame & Self-Trust: Choosing Yourself Even When It’s Hard with Renee Nelson

Join the ⁠Boundaried & Brave Email Series⁠


Summary

In this powerful conversation, Kyira sits down with longtime friend and colleague Renee Nelson to explore what it truly means to choose yourself, even when it’s hard. From walking away from a stable career and calling off an engagement to redefining what fulfillment looks like at different life stages, Renee shares the courage and self-trust it takes to let go of “fine” in order to thrive. Together, Kyira and Renee reflect on ambivalence, comparison, people-pleasing, and the shame that keeps so many of us from saying no.

Through stories of career pivots, relationship decisions, and the evolving balance between ambition and family life, they highlight the importance of support systems, the fear of irrelevance, and the deep work of trusting that—even in uncertainty—we will be okay. This episode is both deeply personal and widely relatable, offering listeners permission to reevaluate what they’re holding onto, where they may be settling, and how to begin choosing themselves without apology.


Key Takeaways:

  • Choosing yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential for showing up fully in relationships, careers, and life.
  • Ambivalence is more dangerous than conflict. Settling for “fine” keeps us stuck in lives that don’t light us up.
  • Support systems matter. Having people who encourage your growth makes it easier to face fear and uncertainty.
  • Saying no is powerful. It’s not your responsibility to manage other people’s disappointment when you choose differently.
  • Fulfillment changes with life seasons. What lit you up 10 years ago may not align with who you are today.
  • Comparison steals context. Social media and societal expectations make it easy to feel behind, but your journey is uniquely yours.
  • Hard choices often bring the most growth. Walking away from jobs, relationships, or identities that no longer fit creates space for thriving.
  • It’s not life or death. Most decisions feel bigger than they are—reminding yourself that you will be okay can help cut through shame and fear.
  • Authenticity builds resilience. By choosing ourselves, we create the conditions for deeper connection and more sustainable success.


More about Renee:

Renee Nelson is a travel enthusiast, adventure seeker, studio hopper (gyms) and new to the start up world, after being at a fortune 500 company for her first 7.5 years out of college. She prides herself on trying to find the positives in everything and absolutely adores people.


Connect with Renee:

  • LinkedIn
  • Instagram


Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
  • Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.


Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
  • YouTube
  • Website


Show more...
1 month ago
52 minutes 39 seconds

Untethering Shame
🎙️Ask Me Anything – E20: Am I Really Selfish for Not Visiting My Dad More?

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“My dad keeps saying I ‘never come see him’ but he’s never once offered to drive to me. I’ve got two kids, a job, and no extra money for travel. Am I really the selfish one here?”

If you’ve ever been guilted into visiting a parent — even when your life is stretched thin — you’re not alone. We unpack the expectation that adult children should always be the ones to make visits happen, and why that’s not fair or sustainable.

Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

  • Why “you never visit me” guilt trips hurt more than they help
  • The imbalance adult children face when parents expect one-sided effort
  • How guilt erodes connection instead of creating it
  • Practical ways to respond that honor both your reality and your relationship

If you’ve ever felt selfish or ungrateful for saying “no” to a visit, this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.
  • ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.

Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.
  • ⁠YouTube⁠
  • ⁠Website⁠

💬 Visits should be about joy and mutual effort — not guilt or obligation.

#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising


Show more...
2 months ago
4 minutes 59 seconds

Untethering Shame
Shame, Religion & Ambiguity: The Courage to Not Know (Part 2 with Carl King)

In Part 2 of Kyira’s conversation with Change Consultant Carl King, the focus shifts from breaking free of rigid religious systems to the long and often messy process of rebuilding life afterward. Carl reflects on the terror and liberation of walking away, the ongoing pull of shame and self-sabotage, and the importance of learning to sit with discomfort instead of rushing toward quick fixes. Together, Kyira and Carl explore themes of identity, ambiguity, and curiosity as tools for healing and growth, reminding listeners that change is less about having the “right” answer and more about experimenting with new ways of being.


Key Takeaways

  • Freedom is mixed. Leaving controlling systems brings both terror and empowerment — it’s never clean or simple.
  • Insight and action are different. Sometimes the most powerful move is holding space in ambiguity instead of rushing to “fix” things.
  • Boundaries build self-worth. Saying “no” creates respect and helps reveal who genuinely values you.
  • Trust takes rebuilding. Healing requires learning to see individuals as distinct, not assuming everyone will harm or control.
  • Creativity fosters resilience. Outlets like writing, music, or simple “chord changes” open space for curiosity and healing.
  • It’s all an experiment. Approaching life with patience, curiosity, and compassion reduces shame and keeps growth possible.


More about Carl:

Carl King is a Change Consultant, empowering organizations and individuals with methods for lasting change. Drawing from his rich tapestry of experiences, Carl brings a unique blend of empathy and insight to his coaching practice. His own journey taught him the power of embracing change, and he's dedicated his life to helping others navigate their own transformations skillfully.


Connect with Carl:

  • Website
  • Instagram/Socials: @carleking and @mychordchange


Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
  • Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.


Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
  • YouTube
  • Website


Show more...
2 months ago
56 minutes 44 seconds

Untethering Shame
🎙️Ask Me Anything – E19: Why Does It Feel Like I’m Always the Bad Guy for Not Calling My Mom?

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“Why does it always feel like I’m the bad guy for not calling my mom every day when she could just as easily call me? I’m exhausted and somehow it’s still on me.”

If you’ve ever felt guilty for not calling enough — or been shamed for not doing more to “keep the relationship alive” — you’ll connect with this one. We explore the guilt adult children often feel when parents put the responsibility of connection entirely on them, and what it takes to set that weight down.

Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:

  • Why this guilt doesn’t actually belong to you
  • The myth of “role reversal” in adult parent–child relationships
  • How guilt trips erode connection instead of building it
  • Practical ways to respond to “You never call me” without caving or overexplaining

If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly cast as the “bad guy” in your relationship with a parent, this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.
  • ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.

Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.
  • ⁠YouTube⁠
  • ⁠Website⁠

💬 Love should feel mutual, not one-sided. You don’t have to carry the relationship alone.

#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising


Show more...
2 months ago
5 minutes 36 seconds

Untethering Shame
Shame & Suppression: Breaking the Cycle of Avoidance

In this conversation, Kyira and Jennifer Ginty explore the deep connection between emotions, shame, and healing. Jennifer shares her personal journey of surviving childhood trauma, navigating Complex PTSD and depression, and ultimately creating My Moody Monster — a tool designed to help both children and adults externalize and regulate big emotions. Together, they discuss how society teaches us to suppress feelings, the generational cycles that keep us from emotional regulation, and why learning to face and integrate emotions is central to healing.

  • Emotions are information, not problems. Every feeling serves a purpose, but judgment and suppression turn them into sources of shame.
  • Healing is not linear. Growth is a roller coaster of highs and lows — giving yourself grace is essential.
  • Generational patterns matter. Families and micro-societies teach us to stuff emotions, but we can choose to break the cycle.
  • Toolboxes are personal. From therapy skills to creative outlets like Moody, what matters is finding tools that work for you.
  • Kids need safe outlets. Tools like Moody help children (and adults) externalize frustration, communicate about feelings, and rebuild after emotional outbursts.
  • Building a team is key. Surrounding yourself with supportive professionals and loved ones helps reinforce that you matter too.

More about Jen:

Jen is the creator of Moody, a project born from her journey of living with Complex PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. Refusing to be defined by suffering, Jen sees Moody as a love story to her healing — a tool that has not only supported her through challenges but also helped children navigate their big feelings. Today, she is on a mission to bring Moody to first responders, social workers, and children facing traumatic events, ensuring they are met with care, support, and hope.

Connect with Jen:

  • YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@mymoodymonster
  • Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/mymoodymonster
  • Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/my-moody-monster
  • TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/@mymoodymonster
  • Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/93141440
  • My Moody Monster – Learn more about Jennifer’s creation, pre-order a Moody, or explore donation options to support kids and families through first responders and social workers.
  • Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) – An evidence-based therapy that teaches skills for emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and mindfulness.
  • Internal Family Systems (IFS) – A therapeutic approach that helps people explore and heal different “parts” of themselves shaped by past experiences.
  • Find a Therapist – Building your own “team” is essential. You can search for licensed therapists near you through directories like Psychology Today or GoodTherapy.
  • In Crisis? – If you’re struggling with trauma or overwhelming emotions, help is available. In the U.S., call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If outside the U.S., please look up your local crisis hotline for immediate support.

Ready to take the next step?

  • Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
  • Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

  • Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
  • YouTube
  • Website

Key TakeawaysResources & Additional Information

Show more...
2 months ago
1 hour 1 minute 33 seconds

Untethering Shame
New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame.