In this conversation with leadership communications coach Salvatore Manzi, we explore why so many of us struggle to use our voice — whether in meetings, relationships, friendships, or moments that matter. Together, we look at how shame, early conditioning, nervous system responses, and social dynamics shape our ability to speak up.
Salvatore breaks down the myths around “quiet leaders,” shares how both over-talking and going silent are trauma-driven strategies, and offers a simple three-step communication framework that helps us move from reacting to responding. This episode gives listeners a compassionate look at why staying silent feels safer — and what small steps help us reclaim our voice with clarity and courage.
Key Takeaways
More about Salvatore:
Salvatore Manzi is a leadership communications coach with over 20 years of experience helping executives, entrepreneurs, and leaders amplify their influence and impact. Salvatore has coached leaders presenting at the United Nations, guided investors in raising $100million over their goal, and helped biopharma scientists present their work globally. With emphasis on frameworks, principles, and techniques, Salvatore empowers leaders to connect authentically and navigate high-stakes conversations with confidence. He’s passionate about fostering collaborative team environments through effective communication.
Connect with Salvatore:
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“I’m trying to be better about setting boundaries in relationships, but sometimes I feel like I’m just being controlling. How do I know the difference?”
We explore the intersection of shame, fear, and self-trust — and how the tension between control and boundaries often reveals our deepest fears about being too much or not enough. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever second-guessed yourself after setting a boundary — or worried that self-protection might make you unlovable — this episode will help you separate care from control and start building boundaries that honor your needs and your relationships.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit your question anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
💬 You are not your content. Your worth exists offline too.
#AskMeAnything #Boundaries #Control #ShameResilience #AdversityRising
In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“I’m always trying to do more on social media — post more, show up more, engage more — because I feel like if I don’t, I’ll lose relevance or connection. But it’s exhausting. And every time I try to take a break, I feel anxious and invisible. How can I build a healthier relationship with social media that doesn’t make my worth depend on how much I do?”
We explore the intersection of shame, validation, and visibility — and how social media often mirrors our deepest insecurities about being enough. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever felt like your peace depends on your online performance, this episode will help you find freedom from the constant pressure to prove yourself.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit your question anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
💬 You are not your content. Your worth exists offline too.
#AskMeAnything #SocialMedia #SelfWorth #ShameResilience #AdversityRising
Money is one of the most common sources of conflict in relationships — and also one of the least understood. What starts as a disagreement about spending, saving, or financial priorities often turns into defensiveness, distance, and unresolved resentment.
In this episode of Untethering Shame, I’m joined by Jordan Pendleton, a former financial advisor turned Money Conversation Coach for couples, to unpack what’s really happening underneath money fights — and why these conversations feel so charged, emotional, and hard to navigate.
Jordan brings both professional expertise and lived experience into this conversation, helping couples understand how money becomes entangled with shame, fear, control, and emotional safety. Together, we explore how money arguments are rarely about the numbers — and how learning to turn toward each other instead of away can change everything.
In this episode, we explore:
If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same money arguments… avoided conversations altogether… or wondered why finances feel so emotionally loaded in your relationship, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and a new way forward.
💬 About Jordan Pendleton
Jordan Pendleton is a former financial advisor turned Money Conversation Coach for couples. She works with partners who find themselves arguing about money — helping them move out of shame, blame, and silence and into honest, connected conversations.
Rooted in her own experiences navigating money and marriage, Jordan is passionate about helping couples stop turning away from one another during conflict and instead learn how to face challenges together. Her work focuses on restoring emotional safety, improving communication, and helping couples reconnect — not just financially, but relationally.
Connect with Jordan:
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“Kyira, I’m struggling with Christmas this year. Money is tight, and I know I won’t be able to give my kids the big gifts that their friends at school will likely get. I want them to feel the magic of Santa without feeling ‘less than’ when they hear what other kids got. How do I keep Christmas joyful and special without unintentionally feeding into comparison or the idea that Santa loves some kids more than others?”
We explore the intersection of shame, validation, and visibility — and how Santa culture often mirrors deeper insecurities around worth, access, and belonging. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever felt the pressure to create a “perfect Christmas,” worried you’re not doing enough, or wondered how to keep holiday magic alive on a tight budget, this episode will help you re-anchor the season in connection, not comparison—and release the shame that so easily finds its way into parenting this time of year.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit your question anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest:
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.
Ready to take the next step?
Download the FREE handout:
“5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day”
Book a free 25-minute discovery call to explore coaching or program options:
Stay Connected
💬 You are not your content. Your worth exists offline too.
#AskMeAnything #ShameResilience #AdversityRising
In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Ingrid Hu Dahl explore themes of identity, resilience, and the complexities of family dynamics. They discuss the importance of community, the journey of self-discovery, and the power of empathy in relationships. Ingrid shares her experiences of growing up mixed-race, navigating societal expectations, and the impact of her mother's influence on her life. The conversation emphasizes the significance of understanding and healing, both personally and collectively, as well as the importance of empowering young voices through shared experiences.
Takeaways
More about Ingrid:
Ingrid Hu Dahl is an author, speaker, and leadership coach. She is the founder of a coaching and consulting business dedicated to empowering the next generation of leaders. With over two decades of experience in learning and development, she brings her expertise to a wide range of industries, from corporate and media to nonprofit and social justice organizations. A TEDx speaker and a founding member of the Willie Mae Rock Camp in Brooklyn, Ingrid has a lifelong passion for amplifying underrepresented voices. She has written, filmed, and directed two short films exploring identity, representation, and the mixed-race experience. And, she has toured in multiple rock bands, playing bass, guitar, synth, drums and singing.
Ingrid is certified by the International Coaching Federation and the Center for Creative Leadership. She is a global lecturer and speaker, and an advisory board member for the Institute for Women’s Leadership at Rutgers University.
Connect with Ingrid:
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“I’ve tried setting boundaries with my mom, but it feels like no matter how clear I am, she always finds a way to push them. Whether it’s showing up unannounced, commenting on my parenting, or guilt-tripping me for saying no, I end up feeling frustrated and ashamed for even trying. How do I handle it when someone I love—especially a parent—keeps crossing my boundaries without turning it into a fight or feeling like I’m the bad guy?”
We dig into the deep emotional work of setting and maintaining boundaries with loved ones — especially when old family patterns make it hard to stand firm. Inside this episode, we’ll explore:
If you’ve ever felt guilty for setting limits with someone you love, this episode will help you reclaim your voice and your calm.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit your question anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
🪞 Boundaries aren’t about control — they’re about clarity. And clarity is the foundation of peace.
#AskMeAnything #Boundaries #FamilyDynamics #ShameResilience #AdversityRising
In this deeply honest and emotionally rich conversation, Kyira and returning guest Cassandra Johnson explore the intergenerational patterns that shape how we love, communicate, perform, protect ourselves, and experience shame.
Together, they unpack how childhood conditioning — from emotional dismissal to unpredictability to inappropriate responsibility — wires us for compliance, self-blame, perfectionism, and fear of abandonment. Cassandra shares powerful stories from her own life, including formative experiences with parental volatility, childhood silencing, and sexual trauma, and how those shaped her patterns in adulthood — from people-pleasing to relationship dynamics to emotional over-functioning.
The episode moves from insight to application, offering listeners a grounded look at what this work actually requires: emotional honesty, habit-level rewiring, rupture and repair, self-reflection, and the courage to let relationships go when they cannot meet you in the work.
This is an invitation into clarity, self-trust, sovereignty, and the kind of healing that strengthens both identity and connection.
We explore:
About Cassandra Johnson
Cassandra is a strategist, storyteller, and founder of CM Brand Studios, where she supports clients in aligning their messaging, identity, and voice with who they truly are. Through a blend of intuition, lived experience, strategic thinking, and emotional insight, she helps people create lives, relationships, and expressions that feel honest, grounded, and deeply aligned with their values.
She brings a unique lens to this work — informed by generational trauma, self-reclamation, and the ongoing practice of rewriting her own story with intention and truth.
Connect with Cassandra
🔗 Website
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“Lately I wake up with this constant feeling of anxiety about the world — politics, climate, conflict, everything. I want to stay informed, but it’s getting harder to not spiral or feel hopeless. How can I stay engaged without being consumed by everything that’s happening?”
Together, we unpack what it means to stay grounded in a time when the world feels unpredictable and heavy. Inside this episode, we’ll explore:
If you’ve been feeling the weight of the world and struggling to find balance between awareness and peace, this episode is for you.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit your question anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
🌿 Awareness without rest becomes overwhelm — let groundedness be your quiet form of resistance.
#AskMeAnything #ShameResilience #RadicalAcceptance #GroundedLiving #AdversityRising
In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“I feel like I show up in my relationship — I share, I ask, I try to connect — but my partner often doesn’t really see me or respond the way I hope. Over time, I’m left wondering if it’s me. Should I just accept that this is how they are, or how do I stop feeling invisible and start grounding myself in my own worth?”
We explore what it means to feel unseen in relationships — and how to find your center again when connection feels one-sided. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever felt like you’re disappearing in your relationship, this episode will help you remember that visibility begins with self-connection.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit your question anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
💭 Being unseen doesn’t mean you’re unworthy — it’s an invitation to start seeing yourself more clearly.
#AskMeAnything #Relationships #FeelingUnseen #ShameResilience #AdversityRising
In this episode of Untethering Shame, Kyira sits down with psychologist Amanda Quinby, PhD, to explore one of the most shame-charged arenas of modern life: online dating. From crafting the “perfect” profile to surviving ghosting, Amanda breaks down how dating apps become a minefield of comparison, self-doubt, and performance — and how to move toward fit and authenticity instead of chasing approval.
Together, they unpack the difference between dating to be chosen versus dating for alignment, and how slowing down, listening to your body, and treating your feelings as data can turn online dating into a powerful mirror for healing rather than a constant referendum on your worth.
In this episode, we explore:
Why online dating feels so brutal
How apps amplify shame through constant choice, comparison, and perfectionist language (“perfect profile,” “best first message,” “most attractive photos”).
Shame, rejection, and the “job application” feeling
The pressure of presenting yourself as “pickable,” and how every swipe or silence can feel like proof that you’re not enough, attractive enough, or interesting enough.
Performance dating vs. fit dating
The difference between contorting yourself to be chosen and staying grounded in who you are — and why “we never fight” early on is often a red flag for performance, not compatibility.
Body image, photos, and the urge to hide
How shame around appearance shows up in profile pictures, filters, and the instinct to conceal parts of yourself — and how that reinforces old stories about being “too much” or “not enough.”
Ghosting, uncertainty, and the stories we tell ourselves
Why our brains hate not knowing, how we fill in the gaps with self-blame, and gentler ways to sit with uncertainty without turning every unanswered text into a character indictment.
Scarcity, settling, and eroding your own needs
How loneliness and timelines (“I should have found someone by now”) can push us to ignore red flags, override our bodies, and stay in misaligned connections “because at least it’s someone.”
Feelings as data, not verdicts
Amanda’s invitation to slow down, notice how you feel in and after interactions, and ask: “Is this shame talking, or is this my system telling me this isn’t a good fit?”
Online dating as an opportunity for growth
How the process will inevitably bring your “stuff” to the surface — and how, with support and self-compassion, it can become a powerful space for practicing self-trust, boundaries, and authenticity.
More about Amanda:
Dr. Amanda Lynne Quinby is a clinical psychologist working in private practice in Bloomington, IN. Amanda works with adult professionals struggling with life transitions, such as going through a divorce, making a career transition, or relocating, and is passionate about incorporating the topics of self-compassion, vulnerability, and self-care into her work. Personally, she is an avid reader, partner, ballroom dancer, music lover, and dog mom.
Connect with Amanda:
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a listener question about nighttime rumination — that racing mind that won’t quiet down no matter how tired you are.
Kyira unpacks why anxious thoughts spike at night, how shame and avoidance make it worse, and what it actually takes to create safety in your nervous system so rest feels possible. This episode explores practical tools for containment, self-compassion, and redefining rest — not as perfection, but as permission.
💡 Key Takeaways
🗣️ Submit Your Question
Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.
In this episode, Kyira welcomes back Bronwyn Schweigerdt, licensed marriage and family therapist and self-described “anger expert,” for part two of their powerful discussion on emotional repression and radical self-integration.
Together, they unpack what happens when we silence our emotions — and what it takes to finally listen to them. Bronwyn guides Kyira through an integration exercise that becomes an intimate exploration of abandonment, worthiness, and self-acceptance.
Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever felt like you know your story but still can’t move past it, this episode will help you find language, compassion, and tools to bridge that gap — without abandoning yourself in the process.
🪞 Connect with Bronwyn Schweigerdt
Website: www.bronwynschweigerdt.com
Podcast: Angry at the Right Things
Instagram: @bronwynschweigerdt
💬 If this episode spoke to you, share your reflections — I’d love to hear what came up for you.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
💬 You are not your content. Your worth exists offline too.
#ShameResilience #EmotionalHealing #AdversityRising #UntetheringShame
In this week’s AMA, Kyira responds to a listener navigating the guilt and shame of loving a parent from afar after a serious health diagnosis. Despite knowing his dad doesn’t expect him to drop everything, he feels like a “bad son” for not being there in person.
Kyira explores the tension between love, distance, and limits — and how shame often confuses grief with failure. This episode offers gentle reframes and grounding tools for redefining what it means to show up when you can’t be physically present.
💡 Key Takeaways
🗣️ Submit Your Question
Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.
Kyira reconnects with Sabrina Trobak, registered counselor, clinical supervisor, and author of Not Good Enough, to explore what happens when healing isn’t linear. Together, they unpack the moments that feel like setbacks—when shame whispers, “I should know better”—and reframe them as invitations to deepen awareness and meet ourselves with compassion. They discuss core beliefs like “not good enough” and the ways we distract through busyness, anger, or perfectionism. Sabrina offers tools—emotions lists, curiosity over judgment, and boundaries—to help listeners move from self-criticism toward understanding and remember that healing unfolds layer by layer, not all at once.
Key Takeaways
More about Sabrina:
I am a registered counsellor and is the author of Not Good Enough: Understanding your Core Belief and Anxiety. I am also a clinical supervisor and public speaker with a masters in counseling psychology. Prior to becoming a counsellor, I was a teacher, vice principal and school counselor for over 20 years. I have extensive training in resolving past trauma and the impact trauma has on a person including anxiety and core belief.
Connect with Sabrina:
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a listener who’s realized their planning often comes at the cost of being present. Many of us over-plan not because we love control, but because control feels safe — it helps us avoid the shame of things going wrong.
Kyira breaks down how to shift from planning as protection to planning as preparation, using simple mindset and body-based tools to help you stop over-orchestrating and start living the moments you work so hard to create.
💡 Key Takeaways
🗣️ Submit Your Question
Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.
In this heartfelt and eye-opening conversation, Kyira sits down with Michelle Waymire, a queer, anti-capitalist financial advisor and founder of Young + Scrappy, to explore the deep intersection of shame and money.
Together, they unpack the beliefs and stories we carry about money—stories often formed in childhood—that shape our self-worth, safety, and sense of control. Michelle shares her own early experiences with privilege and how they informed her journey toward more compassionate, values-based financial work.
From the myth of being “bad with money” to the toxic narratives of hustle culture and financial perfectionism, Kyira and Michelle reframe what it means to be in relationship with money. They invite listeners to approach finances not as a measure of worth but as an evolving, deeply personal practice of self-trust, curiosity, and care.
The episode dives into practical and emotional layers alike: how to detach shame from financial mistakes, how to talk about money with children without passing on our anxieties, and how to begin shifting from scarcity and control to neutrality and self-compassion.
Whether you’re working to pay down debt, trying to feel safer in your financial decisions, or just tired of feeling like you’re doing it “wrong,” this conversation will help you see money in a radically new light.
✨ Key Takeaways:
More about Michelle:
Michelle is a queer, anti-capitalist financial advisor and coach and the founder of two financial services companies: Young & Scrappy and Glimmer Financial. They are passionate about supporting marginalized groups in building a better relationship with their money, so that they can live joyful and abundant lives.
Connect with Michelle:
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a question from a listener who works in a job where they’re constantly being yelled at — not because they’ve done something wrong, but because they’re the one standing in front of people when things go wrong. Even when you know it isn’t personal, it can still feel personal. So how do you hold onto your empathy without letting shame or resentment take over?
Kyira explores the tension between logic and emotion — why your nervous system reacts as if you’re under attack, even when your brain knows better — and how to protect your dignity without losing your compassion. This episode is about reclaiming your sense of peace in the face of others’ chaos, learning to name what’s yours (and what’s not), and remembering that caring doesn’t mean carrying.
💡 Key Takeaways
🔗 Resources & Mentions
Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast
A year after her first appearance, artist The Tracy Piper returns to Untethering Shame to talk about her evolution from loud advocate to deeply self-aware creator — and how being dangerous became her new form of love and resistance.
In this powerful conversation, Tracy and Kyira explore how vulnerability, rest, and authenticity threaten systems that profit from our numbness. They unpack the “dangerous” act of taking up space, setting boundaries, saying no, and believing we are worthy — even when it challenges old stories, relationships, and cultural conditioning.
Together, they invite listeners to rethink what it means to be dangerous — not as harm, but as healing — and to see how doing the work of self-love and radical acceptance can be a revolution in itself.
Key Takeaways
Dangerous doesn’t mean harmful — it means disruptive.
True danger lies in being brave enough to rest, speak up, and love yourself in a world that thrives on burnout and compliance.
Rest is rebellion.
Taking a nap, saying no, or slowing down can trigger shame and fear because our brains have learned these acts are “unsafe.” Learning to rest is a form of reprogramming.
We’re not that important — and that’s freeing.
Letting go of the illusion that the world will fall apart if we stop allows us to reclaim balance, presence, and boundaries.
Radical acceptance means choosing what’s yours to carry.
You can’t control how others respond, but you can stop reinforcing your own suffering by trying to manage everything.
Authenticity is dangerous to systems that depend on your silence.
Whether it’s family dynamics, hustle culture, or gender expectations, showing up truthfully challenges the status quo.
Vulnerability builds community.
The most dangerous — and healing — act is to let yourself be seen, loved, and connected, even when it feels safer to go it alone.
Art as activism.
Tracy’s Dangerous tour invites audiences to explore self-love through creativity, offering visual permission to rest, reflect, and reconnect.
More About Tracy:
The Tracy Piper is a contemporary painter, muralist, and activist whose vibrant figurative work celebrates self-love, empowerment, and the radical act of authenticity. A former circus performer turned full-time artist, Tracy’s work merges bold color with emotional honesty to challenge the narratives that keep us small and silent.
Her newest exhibition, Dangerous: A Pop-Up Art Experience, explores the revolutionary power of self-acceptance and the idea that loving yourself in a world that profits from your doubt is the most dangerous act of all. Based in the Bay Area, Tracy’s art has been featured in galleries across the U.S., and she continues to use her platform to foster connection, conversation, and creative rebellion.
Connect with Tracy
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:
“Kyira, I feel like I’m always running at 100%, sometimes even 110%, just to keep everything together. I tell myself I’m fine, but then one small thing tips me over and I completely crash. Why does this keep happening, and how do I break the cycle without feeling like I’m failing?”
If you’ve ever lived on the edge of burnout, calling it “normal,” you know how exhausting and defeating that cycle can feel. We’re taught that giving our all means giving everything, all the time—but what if the truth is that sustainability actually lives at 80%, not 100?
Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:
If you’ve ever felt like “fine until I’m not fine” is your baseline, this episode is for you.
📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit here anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA
🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the shame cycle — together.
Ready to take the next step?
Stay Connected:
💬 Rest isn’t laziness—it’s what makes your life sustainable.
#AskMeAnything #BurnoutRecovery #ShameResilience #SustainableLiving #AdversityRising