You Are Not Crazy

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You Are Not Crazy

Jessica Knight

224 episodes

4 days ago

This episode builds off of last weeks where I disussed DARVO in Family Court. I cover exactly how to capture DARVO behavior in a way that lawyers, GALs, and court professionals can actually understand. You’ll learn how to: Identify the denial, attack, and role reversal phases in real-time.Translate emotional chaos into factual, court-readable documentation.Recognize when the abuser is using the legal system as a weapon.Communicate patterns to your attorney without being dismissed or labeled “...

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Self-Improvement,

Health & Fitness,

All content for You Are Not Crazy is the property of Jessica Knight and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

This episode builds off of last weeks where I disussed DARVO in Family Court. I cover exactly how to capture DARVO behavior in a way that lawyers, GALs, and court professionals can actually understand. You’ll learn how to: Identify the denial, attack, and role reversal phases in real-time.Translate emotional chaos into factual, court-readable documentation.Recognize when the abuser is using the legal system as a weapon.Communicate patterns to your attorney without being dismissed or labeled “...

Show more...

Society & Culture,

Self-Improvement,

Health & Fitness,

Episodes (20/224)

You Are Not Crazy

How to Document DARVO in Family Court

This episode builds off of last weeks where I disussed DARVO in Family Court. I cover exactly how to capture DARVO behavior in a way that lawyers, GALs, and court professionals can actually understand. You’ll learn how to: Identify the denial, attack, and role reversal phases in real-time.Translate emotional chaos into factual, court-readable documentation.Recognize when the abuser is using the legal system as a weapon.Communicate patterns to your attorney without being dismissed or labeled “...

4 days ago

20 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

When the Court Feels Like the Abuser: Family Court Awareness Month and the Fight for Safety

November is Family Court Awareness Month, a time to shed light on a system that too often fails to protect survivors and their children. In this episode, I explore what happens when a court system that frequently reframes abuse as “conflict,” rewards manipulation, and punishes protective parents for trying to keep their kids safe. I walk through: What Family Court Awareness Month is and why it matters.How the legal system can retraumatize survivors and reward abusers who appear calm, logical,...

6 days ago

15 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

DARVO in Divorce — When the Abuser Becomes the “Victim”

If you’ve ever felt like your abuser managed to twist the truth so completely that you ended up defending yourself against their behavior — this episode is for you. Today, I’m breaking down DARVO — Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — and how it shows up in divorce and custody cases. DARVO is psychological warfare disguised as concern. It’s the reason you end up explaining, over and over, why following a court order isn’t “withholding,” or why setting a boundary isn’t “abuse.” We’ll wa...

1 week ago

23 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

When You Become the Villain in Their Story

Not every discard looks like a dramatic blow-up. Sometimes it comes quietly — through silence, stonewalling, and indifference. That kind of ending can be even more destabilizing, because it leaves no scene to point to, only the hollow feeling that something is over. This episode unpacks what it means to be discarded in this way, how it twists reality and casts you as the villain, and why holding your boundaries in the face of emotional withdrawal is an act of self-preservation. If you’ve ever...

1 week ago

32 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

How Do I Stop Craving Them? And Have They Really Changed?

This week, I’m sharing a private Q&A episode usually reserved for my Patreon and Substack members. I wanted to make this one public because it speaks to something so many survivors struggle with: the pull of the trauma bond, the shame that lingers, and the confusion around whether someone has truly changed. In this episode, I answer two powerful listener questions: 1️⃣ How do I stop the shame and craving when I’m still trauma bonded? 2️⃣ How do I know if my ex is really changing — or if ...

2 weeks ago

25 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

Abusers Don’t See Themselves as Abusers

I explain how abusers redefine what abuse is, minimize their actions, and use comparisons to “someone worse” as a shield from accountability. I break down how they weaponize therapeutic language, flip the script so boundaries look like cruelty, and create a public image that leaves survivors questioning their own reality. Support the show Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach an...

2 weeks ago

10 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

You’re Not Crazy—You’re Trauma Bonded

Trauma bonds aren’t about shared hardship or difficult experiences. They’re cycles of abuse and relief that hook your brain and body like an addiction. That’s why it feels impossible to just “get over it.” In this episode, I break down what trauma bonding really is—and what it isn’t. I talk about how intermittent reinforcement keeps survivors stuck, why naming it matters, and why treating it like an addiction can open a path back to yourself. You’ll hear practical ways to start loosening the ...

3 weeks ago

17 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

False Accountability and the Control Behind It

Control in an abusive relationship often hides behind the illusion of change. They might say the words you’ve been waiting to hear—"I know I hurt you," "I’m working on myself"—but without real accountability, it’s not growth. It’s performance. This episode unpacks how shame drives manipulative behavior, why false accountability keeps you trapped, and how tactics like gaslighting, projection, and DARVO are used to destabilize you. It also explores the difference between genuine conflict resolu...

3 weeks ago

18 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

You Can’t Talk to Your Lawyer Like They’re Your Friend

Family court is a system that doesn’t run on empathy — and that can be one of the hardest realities for survivors to face. In this episode, I share the lessons I’ve learned about communicating with attorneys while navigating years of custody battles and post-separation abuse. You’ll hear why sending every message, email, or update in real time can backfire, how to frame patterns in a way that lawyers and judges can’t ignore, and what it means to “play chess instead of checkers” when you’re up...

1 month ago

19 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

What I Learned from Loving a Narcissist (Even Though It Nearly Broke Me)

When you’re trauma bonded, wanting them isn’t about love—it’s about relief. The relief of the fight being over. The relief of feeling seen again, even for a moment. In this episode, I break down why your body can know they’re toxic and still long for their presence, and why that doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. We’ll explore how your nervous system and brain chemistry keep you hooked, why reconciliation feels addictive, and the painful truth that craving relief isn’t the same as crav...

1 month ago

17 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

High-Conflict Divorce and Co-Parenting

This episode takes a deep dive into the realities of co-parenting and divorcing a high-conflict person. I answer some of the most common questions I hear from survivors—like how to handle manipulation of your child, what to do when the other parent lies about you, what parallel parenting really looks like, and how to survive smear campaigns and legal abuse. You’ll hear the patterns I see over and over again in these cases—fake “redemption arcs,” crisis creation before court, love-bombing duri...

1 month ago

32 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

Inside the Trauma Bond: Why I Couldn’t Leave (and How I Finally Did)

I’m sharing the truth about a trauma bond I was in—how it formed, why I stayed, and what it took to finally break free. This isn’t a highlight reel or a neatly packaged story. It’s the messy reality of living in a cycle of harm and hope, of being pulled in and pushed away, of mistaking control for care. If you’ve ever been asked, “Why didn’t you just leave?”—or asked yourself the same thing—I want you to know this episode isn’t about shame. It’s about understanding. It’s about the hooks that ...

1 month ago

40 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

Craving Relief: Why Trauma Bonds Feel Impossible to Break

When you’re trauma bonded, wanting them isn’t about love—it’s about relief. The relief of the fight being over. The relief of feeling seen again, even for a moment. In this episode, I break down why your body can know they’re toxic and still long for their presence, and why that doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. We’ll explore how your nervous system and brain chemistry keep you hooked, why reconciliation feels addictive, and the painful truth that craving relief isn’t the same as crav...

1 month ago

22 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

How to Work With Me: Coaching, Courses, and What’s Ahead

This episode is a little different. Instead of diving into a specific topic, I’m sharing updates, announcements, and all the ways you can work with me. If you’re new here—or wondering what I offer beyond the podcast—you’ll hear about: Upcoming divorce-focused episodes and why I’m expanding the podcast to include them.My Substack and daily writing for survivors.Self-paced courses on emotional abuse, boundaries, documentation for court, and breaking trauma bonds.Coaching options: intro calls, v...

1 month ago

18 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

The Cycle of Sexual Coercion

Sexual coercion is one of the most misunderstood and silenced forms of abuse. It’s not seduction. It’s not miscommunication. It’s pressure, guilt, manipulation, and punishment used to get sex when you’ve already said no, shown hesitation, or felt unsafe. It’s not about intimacy—it’s about power and control. This is a bonus episode from Unhooked—my private podcast series for survivors breaking free from emotional abuse. In this episode, I break down how sexual coercion works, the subtle (and n...

1 month ago

9 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

The “Nice” Version Isn’t Proof They’ve Changed

They’re kind again… so does that mean they’ve changed? In this episode, we unpack why the “nice” version is part of the abuse cycle — and how to tell the difference between real change and a calculated reset. One of the most confusing parts of an emotionally abusive relationship is when the cruelty suddenly stops — and the “nice” version of the person shows up. Maybe they’re warmer, calmer, even kind for a while. You start to wonder… are they finally changing? Was I wrong about the abuse? In ...

2 months ago

15 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

From Love Bombing to Losing Myself — and Finding My Way Back

n this raw and validating conversation, fitness expert and former pro athlete Holly Rilinger shares her first public telling of the emotional abuse she endured inside a long-term relationship that looked perfect on the outside. Holly opens up about how the relationship began with admiration and love bombing, then slowly eroded her confidence, identity, and sense of self. From subtle criticisms about her appearance to the complete absence of repair after conflict, she found herself living in c...

2 months ago

57 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

Am I Overreacting?

Most survivors don’t start by asking “Is this abuse?” They ask “Why do I feel crazy?” This episode dives deep into the emotional confusion that defines so many abusive dynamics—especially when gaslighting, blame-shifting, and chronic invalidation are at play. If you’ve ever found yourself apologizing after being hurt, doubting your memory, or shrinking yourself to avoid their reactions, you’re not alone—and you’re not overreacting. We’ll explore: How emotional abuse trains you to question you...

2 months ago

12 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

When It Was Never About Change: Understanding the Psychology Behind Cluster B Abuse

Dr. Kerry McAvoy joins me to discuss the most confusing and painful parts of surviving a relationship with someone who has Cluster B traits, including narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, and histrionic personality disorders. We explore: The neurological and psychological reasons why people with Cluster B disorders don’t changeWhy survivors feel crazy, confused, and exhausted—and why that’s by designHow splitting, emotional dysregulation, and weaponized remorse show up in real relationshipsT...

2 months ago

57 minutes

You Are Not Crazy

Breaking the Trauma Bond

I’m sharing one of the most requested and emotionally charged topics: the trauma bond. This episode is part of my private podcast series Unhooked: Mapping the Cycle of Abuse, and I felt it was important to bring it here too—for anyone who’s stuck in the pain, confusion, or shame of staying in a relationship they know is harming them. We explore why trauma bonds form, how they keep you hooked, and what it takes to begin breaking free. This isn’t just about naming abuse—it’s about understanding...

3 months ago

13 minutes