Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with tantric practitioner, pleasure educator, and soon-to-be author Davia Frost for a deep conversation about decentering penetration and expanding what sex can be. Recorded on the Temptation Cruise, this episode explores how slowing down, breathing, presence, and creativity can lead to more satisfying, intimate, and embodied pleasure without sex needing to revolve around penetration.
We discuss:
What it means to decenter penetration and why penetration is overemphasized in mainstream culture
How expanding your definition of sex increases pleasure, intimacy, and satisfaction
Why heterosexual couples tend to rush to intercourse and how this limits pleasure
Using the full body as an instrument of pleasure rather than focusing only on genitals
Slowing down, softening the body, and learning how to receive pleasure
Myths around sex, obligation, and the idea that penetration is required
Making penetration optional without sex feeling âincompleteâ
Erogenous zones beyond genitals (neck, ears, inner thighs, behind the knees, clavicle, elbows, nipples)
Nipple play and nipple orgasms
Different types of orgasms and expanding orgasmic capacity
Breathwork, sound, humming, and tantra as tools for pleasure
Why holding your breath can limit orgasmic potential
Presence vs performance in sex
Oral sex as intimacy, honoring, and shared pleasure rather than a chore
Eye gazing, kissing, dirty talk, and touch as deeply intimate acts
Ego, vulnerability, and why sex often ends when penetration ends
Ending sex based on satisfaction, not orgasms or penetration
Communication strategies for talking about pleasure without hurting egos
Sexual menus, check-ins, and having conversations outside the bedroom
Scheduling intimacy, playfulness, and creative erotic invitations
What straight couples can learn from queer sex culture
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2548-alexa
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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with sex & relationship coach Catherine Drysdale for the most honest, nuanced conversation about voluntary celibacy youâve ever heard. Together they break down how intentionally stepping away from partnered sex can reset your dating patterns, raise your standards, calm your nervous system, help you stop centering dating/sex, reconnect you to your body, and ultimately make your sex life better.
In this episode, Catherine opens up about:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2548-alexa
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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, pleasure expert, and the Handjob Queen herself, Ashley Manta (@cannasexual), for the most comprehensive handjob episode ever recorded, all from the middle of the Ionian Sea aboard a Desire Cruise.
Together, they dive into Ashleyâs entire sexual evolution, her journey into sex education, her non-monogamous love story, and her insanely detailed handjob techniques that go way beyond the basics. This episode is part sex education masterclass, part storytelling, part technique demonstration and entirely iconic.
We cover:
How Ashley de-centered penetration in her relationships and learned to prioritize warm-up, touch, and manual stimulation
Why she prefers clitoral stimulation with fingers over any vibrator / oral
Squirting vs orgasm: why theyâre different experiences and how Ashley experiences both
Handjobs in cars, the âblowjobs for ridesâ era, and giving a handjob in a DHL truck
Working at a sex shop and learning techniques from experts like Reid Mihalko, Ducky Doolittle, Tristan Taormino, and more
Her decade of learning technique through sex parties, workshops, and hands-on practice
The âtoxic tantra boyfriendâ who was incredible at sex but emotionally manipulative
How handjobs became Ashleyâs specialty and why she teaches them professionally
Using partners as âlive demosâ during workshops
Her handjob philosophy: connection, breathwork, presence, pressure, rhythm, and affirmation
How to handle soft cocks, why softness is normal, and how to help someone relax into arousal
Why lube is non-negotiable, why Ashley prefers silicone lube, and her love for the baby bottle warmer hack
Circumcised vs uncircumcised penis techniques and what adjustments matter
Full techniques breakdown
Why Ashley doesnât enjoy giving blowjobs (TMJ + dislike of cum), and how she clearly makes up for it
Outsourcing BJ duties during group play thanks to her and Nickâs non-monogamous dynamic
Anal play safety and boundaries: how Nick discovered he loves anal, how they explored it safely, and hygiene must-knows
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA69 to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 65% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2544-alexa
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of the groundbreaking bestseller She Comes First, He Comes Next, and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. They talk about why his 2004 classic is still changing bedrooms two decades later, how the clitoris remains misunderstood, and what makes sex truly great.
We discuss:
- Why She Comes First is still a global bestseller 21 years later
- â The science of the clitoris and its internal structures
- Why all orgasms are clitoral â and what âoutercourseâ really means
- Why penetration-only sex leads to bad sex and performance anxiety
- The most common sexual problems heterosexual couples face today
- How to shift from intercourse-focused sex to pleasure-focused sex
- Why rhythm and persistence are essential for clitoral stimulation
- Why novelty helps early on but routine deepens connection
- How rushing and orgasm-chasing have ruined slow sex
- The differences between male and female arousal cycles
- â The three assurances every giver should offer during oral sex
- Why enthusiasm is the sexiest thing a partner can show
- How womenâs insecurities (âIâm taking too long,â âDo I smell?â) block pleasure
- Why giving oral sex might be the key to your erection problems
An unfiltered, intimate conversation about why She Comes First is still essential reading and how better sex starts with slowing down, getting curious, and caring more.
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA69 to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 65% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2544-alexa
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Amanda Dames, the kink consultant and sex & relationship coach, for a deep dive into the world of kink â from power dynamics and negotiation to choking, bondage, chastity, and aftercare. Amanda, a former dominatrix and current coach for couples and individuals, breaks down how to safely explore desire, communicate boundaries, and find confidence in both dominance and submission.
We discuss:
What a kink consultant actually does and how Amanda works with couples and individuals
How to talk about kink and start negotiating scenes with a partner
The concept of core desires: what drives your kinks on a deeper level
Power exchange and why itâs one of the most common and misunderstood kinks
How to safely practice choking and the difference between sides and trachea pressure
How to create and close a scene, use safe words, and practice aftercare
The difference between a kink and a fetish (and why fantasizing isnât cheating)
What to do when one partner is kinky and the other isnât
The importance of curiosity, consent, and mutual care in exploring desires
Why choking porn shouldnât be banned, it should be taught safely
How to avoid nerve damage in bondage and the importance of safety scissors
How to transition between dominance and submission when youâre a switch
Why chastity for men is on the rise and what makes it exciting
The realities of power play, punishment, and control
What good aftercare looks like: from cuddling to next-day check-ins
Why communication before, during, and after sex prevents harm and deepens connection
The role of negotiation, consent, and enthusiasm in every scene
Why more women should take control in bed and why more men should learn to be submissive
How lingerie, pegging, and roleplay are more common (and fun) than people think
Amandaâs fetish for being punished and how fantasy enhances orgasm
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@â sexwithalexaâ )â  sits on the couch with Robyn Silberâ  â a former Google software engineer who slept with 70 men in 10 months and then realized sheâs asexual. Robyn opens up about her âslut era,â sexual health, discovering demisexuality, navigating autism and dating, and why sheâs now working to help lonely men build real connection.
We talk about:
Dating younger men and having 70 sexual partners in her first 10 months in NYC
Sexual health: chlamydia, BV, yeast infections, UTIs, and learning to advocate for herself
Why only ~5 of 70 partners made her orgasm and how she wasnât asking for pleasure
The difference between physical attraction and real sexual desire
How asexuality doesnât mean low libido or lack of masturbation
Her current relationship: emotional connection, sensuality, and slow intimacy
Why everyone should have a âslut eraâ and what to keep in mind
Her idea to launch an online support group for men who arenât getting laid
The male loneliness crisis and how empathy can rebuild connection
Why men should focus on friendship, hobbies, and social skills before dating
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Haley Jakobson, author of Old Enough, bisexual Dream Girl, and OCD Princess, to talk about friendship, therapy, OCD, and sex. Haley opens up about how her OCD has shaped her relationships, sexuality, creative life and how vulnerability and repair have transformed her friendships and intimacy.
We discuss:
The importance of friendship and why it can be even more transformative than romantic love
Learning to fight and repair conflict with friends instead of avoiding it
Friendship breakups, grief, and when to let go vs. when to repair
How attachment styles (anxious vs. avoidant) affect friendships and conflict
The parallels between romantic and platonic relationship skills
Navigating OCD, intrusive thoughts, and relationship anxiety
Sexual shame, low libido, and reconnecting with desire during recovery
The impact of COVID on libido, self-pleasure, and intimacy
How OCD and anxiety affect sexual intimacy and self-image
Learning to find satisfaction without pressure to perform sexually
Haleyâs upcoming novel Cave Girl and the story behind its title
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Nina Divina, Mama Muse and founder of Haus of Muse, for a powerful and playful conversation about confidence, burlesque, sensuality, and how to be the main character in your sex life.
We talk about:
What âcunt is an energyâ really means and how to embody it
Overcoming body image struggles and learning to love your reflection
How to be the main character in your sex life and in everyday life
The power of adopting a persona to boost confidence
Why teasing is the most underrated form of foreplay
Teasing vs. flirting â and how anticipation makes everything hotter
Building sexual confidence through self-love and self-touch
Reconnecting with your sensuality after losing it
The importance of breathing, eye contact, and connection before sex
How âfake it till you make itâ and âdelulu is the soluluâ actually work
Stretching, sensual movement, and small daily rituals to feel sexy again
Why confidence, play, and teasing make sex better for everyone
đ„ Want more? Join my â Patreonâ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2540-alexa
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Jeff Perla, host of Oh Dear Iâm Queer, for a candid, funny, and unfiltered conversation about queer sex, dating, and intimacy.
We discuss:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2536-alexaÂ
đ„ Want more? Join my â Patreonâ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram! www.patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Ali Weiss, New York native, host of Tales of Taboo and unapologetic oversharer, for a raw conversation about rejection, vulnerability, and why weâre all obsessed with the forbidden.
A funny, honest, and deeply relatable episode on being human, craving connection, and owning your messy truth, why rejection stings less when you know yourself, and how vulnerability can be both a calling and a curse. Ali opens up about running her anonymous confessions podcast, burnout, parasocial relationships, and why taboos like sex work and drug dealing deserve compassion instead of judgment.
Other topics we cover:
The complicated relationship with oversharing and boundaries
Why rejection isnât the end of the world, and how to approach people IRL
The obsession with being a âclean girlâ vs embracing messiness
Why taboo fascinates us and how it secretly connects us all
Friendships that go deeper than relationships
Learning to accept yourself so you can handle rejection and find real connection
đ Support the podcast and get bonus content on Patreon:Â patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back in bed with Vee, co-host of Girls Gone Deep and almost-certified somatic sex and relationship coach, for a juicy conversation all about sexual fantasies.
We cover:
Why fantasies are so important for a fulfilling sex life
The difference between fantasies you should keep in your head vs. the ones you might want to bring to life
Veeâs wildest fulfilled fantasies (from MFM threesomes to DVPs and even public play at Broadway)
What itâs really like to plan a gangbang (and why you might not want to force it)
How shame around our bodies, vulvas, and desires can hold us back â and how to push through it
Fantasies that should stay fantasies (monster-fucking, Khaleesi worship scenes, etc.)
The role of community and how to find people who will help make your fantasies a reality
Fantasies that grow out of childhood wounds, trauma, or praise/degradation kinks
How to actually ask for what you want and deal with rejection
Tools for couples and individuals to explore fantasies safely (even if they never leave your imagination)
Itâs raw, personal, and full of both funny and vulnerable stories â from getting DVPed on a cruise to being worshipped by multiple partners at once. If youâve ever wondered where fantasies come from, how to share them without shame, or how to make them happen in real life, this is your guide.
đ Support the show on Patreon for bonus content, behind-the-scenes, and more at patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2536-alexaÂ
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified sexologist and Wonderlust founder Natassia Miller for a deep dive into one of the most common struggles in relationships: mismatched desire.
We break down why sex can get boring in long-term relationships, why the honeymoon phase always fades, and how to actually reignite passion with your partner. From exploring fantasies to reducing the mental load, this episode is a roadmap for couples who feel like theyâre not having enough sex â or not the kind of sex they really want.
We talk about:
đ If you loved this episode and want to support the show, join my Patreon for bonus content, behind-the-scenes chats, and extra Q&As: patreon.com/sexwithalexa.
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Elle Chase (@theellechase), certified life coach, sexologist, sexuality educator, author, and one of the most respected voices in the body acceptance and body neutrality movement. Together, they unpack how body image affects intimacy, relationships, and the ability to feel sexy in your own skin.
In this episode, we dive into:
The difference between body love and body neutrality
Baby steps to start feeling sexy when you donât love your body
How body image influences desire and long-term passion
Building connection through touch, intimacy, and skin hunger
Why self-compassion and communication matter more than confidence
How to reframe sex as connection, not performance
For unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes on my own dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram, join my Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2532-alexa
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Laura DesirĂ©e â absolute stranger, intimacy coordinator and pleasure educator â for an unforgettable conversation about how sex, grief, and shame shape our identities.
In this episode, we dive into:
What intimacy coordinators actually do on film sets and why they make sex scenes better, not worse
Why Hollywood has failed at portraying female pleasure and how it should look instead
The messy overlap of grief and sex and how pleasure can become healing
The role of kink in teaching care, communication, and boundaries
Lauraâs experience as an identical twin and how sex became her path to self-discovery
Owning shame, embracing vulnerability, and why our âmessiestâ moments can make us closer to others
A hilariously human story of intimacy, trust, and⊠running out of toilet paper
Lauraâs raw honesty and fearless approach to sex and pleasure will make you rethink how you see intimacy, on screen and in your own life.
âš For more uncensored conversations, bonus clips, and behind-the-scenes stories, join me on Patreon.
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Gabriella Scaringe, founder of Cherri, to explore sexuality and vulvas in the real world â pubic hair trends, labia diversity, harmful language weâve internalized, and how better design (hello, wide-gusset underwear and swim) can change how we feel in our bodies. We get specific about what actually shows up in everyday life (the âbulge,â the âlip slipâ), why thatâs normal, and how to shop for pieces that fit and feel good.
What we cover:
Pubic hair culture now vs. then: why the bush is back, personal preferences (including during oral), and how âcleanlinessâ isnât about being hairless.
Language that harms: the âpastrami vulvaâ era, innie/outie shame, and how those jokes warp body image.
Vulva diversity 101: long inner labia are common; symmetry isnât the standard; vulvas are supposed to be visible sometimes under clothes.
The âbulgeâ discourse: when someone called out a âbulgeâ in a swimsuit pic and Gabriellaâs clap-back â it was her vulva. Why visibility â indecency.
What âlip slipâ really means and how design solves for it (without erasing your shape).
Gusset realities: the industryâs average ~2.5" gusset vs. Cherriâs wider cuts (e.g., a 4" gusset on an XS G-string) and why width, placement, and size-inclusive fit matter.
Behind the brand: insights from Cherriâs 5,000+-person survey of vulva owners, fit testing across sizes, and why styles take time to release.
Hygiene myths weâre done with: hair does not equal dirty; vulvas have scent; how to care without over-stripping your skin.
Body neutrality vs. âlove your bodyâ: moving from harm to comfort first, confidence as a practice, and giving yourself permission to pick what feels good.
Shopping smarter: what to look for in undies and swim (gusset width, rise, fabric, coverage options) and letting comfort lead.
Our own stories: growing up through the era of hairless ideals, changing tastes, and why embracing ârealâ bodies feels so freeing.
đ„ Want more? Join my â Patreonâ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2532-alexaÂ
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back with another deep dive into the world of dating, this time with award-winning sex educator and ghostwriter Connie Collins (@thefirstdatediaries). We explore the state of relationships today and reveal what keeps people stuck in situationships and unhappy. Itâs often not about your dating profile or messaging speed, but deeper issues like fear of vulnerability and emotional shutdowns.
We cover:
- Understanding sexuality and how to discover what you truly want in relationships.
- Recognizing emotional availability and its impact on your dating experience.
- The loneliness of pretending you're okay with casual dating when youâre not
- The pressure to be chill, cool and detached and why that hurts us more than it helps
- The concept of âpussy economicsâ and why your access is valuable
- Real red flags we ignore and green flags we mistake for red flags.
đ Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes takes on my personal dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram. Go to patreon.com/sexwithalexa to get in.
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back in bed for another season and sheâs kicking things off with adult film icon Small Hands (Aaron Thompson). From monogamy and marriage to aftercare and emotional intimacy on set, Aaron shares what it's really like to live a life of performance â and what happens when the cameras stop rolling. We get deep on female pleasure, working with Owen Gray, porn myths, and how to separate real connection from performative sex. If youâve ever wondered what love looks like when sex is your job, this oneâs for you.
In this episode, we talk about:
how porn shaped Aaronâs real-life relationships
what it's like to be monogamous while working in the adult industry
the emotional aftermath of performing sex on camera
whether it's really possible to have sex without catching feelings
how to separate intimacy from performance
Aaronâs recent divorce and what it taught him
his take on aftercare and why it's necessary in porn
how he advocates for female pleasure in a male-driven industry
what it's like working with Owen Gray and the hype around him
his thoughts on what sex acts are overrated vs underrated
what porn gets right and wrong about real desire
đ§ Love the pod? Support me on Patreon! Youâll get unedited episodes, bonus stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram: patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Beth Sparksfire â the Queen of Hacienda, New Yorkâs legendary sex-positive community and party scene.
Together, we dive deep into how to be a thoughtful, respectful, and unforgettable sex party guest. Whether youâre a first-timer or looking to level up, Beth shares the real dos and don'ts from her years curating erotic experiences.
We cover:
What to know before attending your first sex party
How to navigate consent, conversation, and energy
Why curiosity is sexy, but entitlement isn't
What not to do when you're naked in public
The importance of aftercare â even at play parties
Creating safer, queerer, more intentional spaces
How Hacienda became the gold standard for sex-positive events
âš As always, the unedited version of this episode â plus more about my personal dating life, spicy stories, and access to my Close Friends on IG â is on Patreon!
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Birna Gustafsson, sex educator with a master's in public health and host of Explicit Studies, to talk about the sea of sexual misinformation weâre constantly swimming inâand how to get better at spotting it.
Together, they bust myths that still circulate widely online (even in sex-positive spaces) and explore how shame, purity culture, and bad science shape our sexual health beliefs.
Expect to learn:
The actual failure rate of pulling out and why itâs riskier than you think
Why douching is unnecessaryâand can be harmful
Whether you can get pregnant on your period (hint: you can)
The truth about HPV, oral sex, and throat cancer
Why orgasms arenât the only marker of âgood sexâ
The dangers of black-and-white sex advice on social media
How kids are absorbing harmful beliefs from TikTok, porn & uninformed adults
Why pegging can turn men into better lovers đ
Why we must improve sex ed for healthcare professionals
How to know if your sex advice source is trustworthy
Birna also shares how she's helping train nurses and midwives to better support patients with inclusive, evidence-based sex education. Plus: her favorite sex ed resources, books, and where to go if you're ready to learn the truth.
âš Want more? Unedited episodes, Alexa's personal dating stories, and her IG Close Friends are all on Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:
In this very juicy and educational episode, sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Jamie Joy, a queer, trans certified sex educator and full-blown fisting aficionado. We dive deep (literally and figuratively) into the world of fisting, from how to prep and practice it safely to the surprising aftercare and emotional intensity it can carry.
We also discuss:
How to prep for fisting (from hygiene to headspace)
Differences between vaginal and anal fisting
Safety tips, including glove use, nails, and douching
Why fisting is more emotional and intimate than youâd think
What to do if you're curious about trying it
Debunking myths about poop, pain, and gay panic
The role of breath, communication, and pleasure in anal play
The stigma around anal playâespecially for straight men
Jamie's favorite techniques and their own mold of their fist (yes, really!
You can check out more of Jamie's work here!
đ New to the pod? Subscribe, rate & leave us a review. And if you want unedited episodes + a peek into my personal dating and sex life, join us on Patreon. Youâll also get added to my IG Close Friends list đ
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