You find an hour to yourself. A moment you’ve potentially been anticipating for weeks. What do you do? You fantasize about what you *could* do - book a massage? see a friend? read a book?
Then the moment comes. Is this excitement or anxiety in your body? Is this feeling calm or am I just frozen? Somehow you can’t think of a single thing you want to but instead are filled with thoughts – I’m feeling ok now, maybe I should just fold laundry. I’ll just go online for a bit, just to get ideas and chill.
Next thing you’re looking at photos of your kids on your phone and the hours is almost up. Now you’re all frustrated and angry at yourself again for not doing alone time ‘properly’.
What happened?
As a mother, I’ve found myself fantasising about the second I can hand the kids over to be alone, only to find that the moment I’m truly alone, I don’t know what to do with myself.
Social Media Detox for Mums
More than a healthy baby: finding strength and growth after birth trauma
https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
*NB this episode is available on YouTube if you want to follow along with the visuals
Life in the Five Senses, Gretchen Rubin
Feeding the Soul (Because it’s my Business), Tabitha Brown
The Art of Growing up, John Marsden and Take Risks, John Marsden
Coretta: My Life, My Love My Legacy, Coretta Scott King
https://amzn.to/3C5kb80
Dissociation made Simple, Jamie Marich
https://amzn.to/3C19NhD Other books I often recommend to clients
The Postnatal Depletion Cure, Dr Oscar Seralach
https://amzn.to/3IHgvx6
The Power of Fun, Catherine Price
https://amzn.to/3IGrO8T
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting, Dr Laura Markham
AKA Calm Parents, Happy Kids (UK adapted version)
https://amzn.to/3OK6nr5
There's also my books :)
Social Media Detox for Mums
More than a healthy baby: finding strength and growth after birth trauma
https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
Getting up at dawn to journal, exercise and smash goals might work well for well-rested people. But what if you're not yet a member of the well-rested Mum's club? Is getting up earlier the answer?
Social Media Detox for Mums
More than a healthy baby: finding strength and growth after birth trauma
https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
Wintering doesn’t have to occur in the physical season of winter. It can represent a time in life that’s challenging and depleting. A time when your soul needs to rest and pull back.
Today I share 4 lessons I've learned in wintering
This book might also be helpful:
Wintering: The Art of Rest in Difficult Times
Social Media Detox for Mums
More than a healthy baby: finding strength and growth after birth trauma
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
Some of the best anxiety tools around are ones that people often assume are just for kids. I'll share with you a few fun, playful tools to introduce or re-introduce into your stress and self-care practise.
I recently learned about a tool called Calm Strips. I haven’t tried them yet, and not sponsored, but they look interesting. They look like a sensory toy in sticker form. You can choose a range of textures – bumpy, soft etc. for focus and de-stressing.
Social Media Detox for Mums
More than a healthy baby: finding strength and growth after birth trauma
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
Like pretty much every mum I know, I have too many tabs in my brain open: when did I last worm the dogs? How am I going to find time to go to the dentist? Does my youngest have allergies? Is it bad that I stopped taking my kids to swimming lessons? Is every choice I make as a mum somehow always "wrong"?
The internet regularly gives the message that if only you tried a bit harder, or focused a bit more, you could have the cake and eat it. But don’t eat cake, OK? Because of sugar, white carbs and gluten, oh my. Am I doing anything right?
Turns out there's a is a word for this experience: Paro
It means the feeling that everything you do is somehow wrong.
It works best as a visual example, so if you haven’t seen this short video explaining it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7l2hUp0CkQ I encourage you to watch it. It comes from a book I just discovered and am slightly obsessed with – the dictionary of obscure sorrows by john Koenig. Basically its new words for emotions we all feel but don’t have the language for.
Social Media Detox for Mums
More than a healthy baby: finding strength and growth after birth trauma
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
One of the dirty secrets of parenting that not too many mums seem willing to talk about is that sometimes parents don’t enjoy playing with their children. Or maybe they never enjoy playing and would go so far as to say they hate it. There’s a few reasons for this, and with a few tweaks the concept of ‘play’ might shift for you.
*NB* that's cockatoos in the background in case you're wondering. I live in the bush, this is life!
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD
Book Depository for UK/EUROPE
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
Something like 90% of new parents will have intrusive, scary thoughts. I'll explain what they are about, how to cope with them and a bit about what situations are expected or 'normal' and what situations would be considered problematic or a psychiatric emergency.
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD
Book Depository for UK/EUROPE
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
Following on from last week's episode about EMDR for birth trauma I thought it would be useful to delve into birth debriefs. They've become popular, and I do offer them myself but are their practice standards? What does the research say? And, in what circumstances could they make trauma symptoms worse?
You can read the accompanying blog post on EMDR for birth trauma https://doctorerin.com.au/2023/04/21/emdr-for-birth-trauma/
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD
Book Depository for UK/EUROPE
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
In this episode, I explain as best I can in lay language what EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is and how it can help process past and future births. This type of therapy is intense but it tends to work faster than exposure therapy or CBT based techniques.
You can read the accompanying blog post on EMDR for birth trauma https://doctorerin.com.au/2023/04/21/emdr-for-birth-trauma/
In 2019 I interviewed Krysta Dancy about EMDR for birth trauma on the birth trauma training for birth workers podcast. If you’re in the USA, Krysta’s work would be a great place to start.
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Amazon US & REST OF THE WORLD
Book Depository for UK/EUROPE
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
Four times a second your nervous system will ask "Am I SAFE?"
We can find a lot of relief by using practical tools that appeal directly to our 5 senses.
If I asked you - which sense do you think you've been neglecting lately? What might your answer be?
Luckily, one of my favourite writers, Gretchen Rubin has developed a quiz to help you with that very question. You also get suggestions for how to cultivate that sense.
Learn what my neglected sense is and how we can work with the senses in birth, trauma and daily coping
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
Recently I was reading a book and came across some useful ideas for what to do while you're waiting for therapy or in between appointments. Usually when someone books an appointment there's been a big wave of emotions. Sometimes the emotions subside a bit while life gets in the way, sometimes we block them, sometimes we forget exactly what was happening or what we were thinking in the times when it felt intense. Writing things down to remember when you have your session helps. Having a list of energy light ups and energy dim downs can help too.
Untamed, Glennon Doyle
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
If you want to pause or quit social media it's usually not as simple as just going cold turkey. This is what I wish I knew before I started my social media detox. some practical, measurable steps that will help get you that meaningful change you're looking for. You can find the handy guide to the steps outlined here.
DASS (depression anxiety stress scale) - note this is a screening tool, not a replacement for mental health diagnosis
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
This is the second part of a conversation about the science of why parents judge each other. What happens when we attribute fault to someone else based on their character (e.g, they are an idiot), but we assume people will give US the benefit of the doubt when we have our own crisis?
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
Today I'm sharing one of my favourite Easter books that is such a surprise and a delight.
A book written 84 years ago by a white man from the deep south of the USA. Life is full of surprises.
The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes by Du Bose Heyward is a book that teaches children that you can be anything. That mothers are valued. That children thrive when their mothers are happy and fulfilled. That everyone in a family has a role and can contribute, no matter how small.
You can watch the book being read here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ulp4nPyQ0w
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
There is research evidence suggesting that women are judged more harshly for their decisions than men.
In The gift of imperfect parenting, Brene Brown says we judge each other so harshly because most of us feel like we are barely holding on. We are afraid of making mistakes, so we perceive anyone who is doing anything differently as criticising our choices.
Leaning into growth and changing behaviours that better reflect and serve your value system is huge. Applying a sense of compassionate self-reflection when it comes to judging ourselves and others is an important part of the conversation.
Judging is an anthropological and safety behaviour. We don’t need to judge our judging (lol) but I think it helps to be mindful of what purpose judging serves. Let's unpack it a little.
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
I've been following this blog for years. I tool I've taken from Pip is the idea of taking stock. I like to recommend it because rather than sitting down and getting all stressed about goals you may or may not have met, you just take a quiet few moments to jot down where you’re at and what you’re doing right now.
I’ve found it’s a nice way to sit in the moment, and later look back on the small things we easily forget. Sometimes those small things become the big things :)
For a taking stock list, I just throw out a few verbs and fill in the blanks. Nothing too organised or fancy, just what comes to mind!
Want to be a course tester? LAST CHANCE!!!!
Want to be a tester for my brand new 21 day social media detox course? You can try it for $21USD before it goes on sale to the public. Use code 21FOR21 until March 21st
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
We're told to prioritize self-care, but do we ever really hear about prioritizing fun? I'll share some lessons I've been learning in how to make motherhood more fun
Catherine Price also has a book on the topic called The Power of Fun: Why Fun is the Key to a Happy and Fulfilling Life.
Want to be a course tester?
Want to be a tester for my brand new 21 day social media detox course? You can try it for $21USD before it goes on sale to the public. Use code 21FOR21 until March 21st
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
When I look back on my early mothering, I'm often wondering "what would I do differently? What was making me miserable then that I now have clarity on?"
I came up with 5 things.
Want to be a course tester?
Want to be a tester for my brand new 21 day social media detox course? You can try it for $21USD before it goes on sale to the public. Use code 21FOR21 until March 21st
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com
If you've struggled with motivation and trying to change a behaviour maybe consider that laziness and willpower have nothing to do with it. Maybe you've been trying to make a style of motivation fit when it's a total mismatch to your personality? Today I'll share a tip that has really helped me understand why certain approaches (like bootcamp!) really don't work for my personality type.
Take the 4 Tendencies quiz, and see if you find your 'aha!' moment
You can find Gretchen’s book on the 4 tendencies
Want to be a course tester?
Want to be a tester for my brand new 21 day social media detox course? You can try it for $21USD before it goes on sale to the public. Use code 21FOR21 until March 21st
Social Media Detox for Mums now on sale!
Get a copy of my birth trauma book: https://amzn.to/3cAuvfu
If you'd like to follow along my slow living journey on my YouTube channel
I also send a weekly email and have old school-style pen pals rather than use social media :)
My Website: https://doctorerin.com.au/
Mental health courses I teach: https://doctorerin.com.au/shop
Inquiries: dr.erinbowe@gmail.com