Grit and Grace: Be willing to throw it all at the wall with Yoga with Jake Jake Panasevich carved out a path to be a disseminator of the benefits of yoga with an emphasis on reaching men and athletes. In looking at his offerings and success, I got the “he’s so lucky” mindset. I saw that he had this cool career of writing, disseminating, and teaching yoga—and felt envy. On this episode we dive into the day-to-day variety of activities he faces to match his grit and grace. And, we get the origin story of why this is such an important target audience for him. Jake talks about being on a college wrestling team in an incredibly toxic environment – which launched his aversion and mistrust of men. However, through trying to get in shape without wrecking his body and beyond that, a community finding community, he came to the mat. Now he offers “Yoga with Jake” predominantly for men and athletes—healing himself while helping others get embodied. Don’t miss some of the honest and practical takeaways of this episode, including:     First yoga class: Did everything “wrong” but felt better In both teacher training and journalism, get your feet wet, get yourself out there Three tips to reach more men in your class: 1) be direct—do this for this benefit, 2) focus on connection—show them you care, and 3) avoid energy jargon Focus on seva- selfless service as the primary archetype of an instructor   Give everyone permission to be themselves Become masterful at active language and landmarks Feedback is love, it’s a positive thing, pushing a skill further, progressing. Ask: is this “better, worse, or the same” rather than vague “is this good? Knowing where you want to be of service; your audience, your mission as a teacher There is a very real struggle in the hustle of making a living as a teacher The work is fun and meaningful but requires efforting. It’s the balance of effort and ease, just like in a yoga practice It’s still a lot of work to plan and fill a workshop- even at 20 years and help from a studio; there’s so much to juggle, relationship with studio owners, self-worth tanks if you don’t get a raise, etc.   Yoga teachers are good at getting people to feel into their feelings; but you have to constantly business develop Be with family, nurture relationships The space is not saturated: know yourself, know your audience. Stay flexible. Real distrust and aversion to men- thinking no guy would be someone I want to connect with Listen to peer and mentor- be willing to try Yoga teacher and entrepreneur, throw a lot at the wall, a lot won’t work.. but “the obstacle is the way” Teach what you learned while still in the middle of it all Flourishing is “not resisting, letting go”. It’s loving your life with all the different flavors, invite them. Find the beauty in the mundane. Stepping on the mat does not mean you’ll no longer step in dog shit Can’t experience success all day every day Get back to who or what I am—and match those practices. Honesty is love, honesty is showing you care. Just go out and try it. Intend. Action matters. Throw it at the wall—this is the “school of action.”   Website: https://www.yogawithjake.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yogawithjake/ Podcast: https://podcast.yogawithjake.com/1544992

I learn from Dr. Margie Serrato that, from both a human and anthropological perspective, we often believe lies and justify rather than reconcile with the fact that we’re wrong: in relationships, politics, etc. anywhere we “misstep.” This is where we start our almost 2 hour discussion. Based on her research and identities, Margie started to talk about rest, love, and care for others in the fear and turmoil of the aftermath of leadership who are not in integrity. This activated the same response she had during COVID-19: Show up and listen to others. It’s not time to panic because these are the moments to be a solid rock of compassion and love and grounding for those around us. Margie encourages us to think critically and let go: you don’t have to finish a PhD because you started it, you don’t even have to go to college. You don’t have to dull your shine. You don’t have to identify as victimized if you were a victim. Through the works she does, she helps others alchemize and transmute experiences that shape us, but Margie reminds us that we get to choose who we become.  For your information: This discussion includes brief reference to physical, sexual, incestual assault (time stamp: 1:02:20-1:06:28). Some key notes were: Not going into panic; listen to your inner knowing. Different experiences people are having: grief, rage, questions. Lack of integrity among leaders in charge—is a hard question—it’s hard for kids and adults to grapple with this. Protect your peace: you don’t have to give your energy to try to convince someone that they are right—they have an inflexible position. Our education system doesn’t teach critical thinking until grad school. If you didn’t explore, you attend college and build anxiety that you’re the “only one” who doesn’t have it figured out. Internalize that others have their shit together and it’s just you, but it's not true. Need to start within, start where we have influence. Start in education. When your identity is impacted by policies and the opinions of others: one must deepen and widen love over being in anger. Cannot fix what we don’t understand. Being called to hold space, evolve, and equip people with a way to transcend and widen our love. We’re all shaped by culture; beliefs are reinforced in home, school, church, peers, etc. Each group you belong to reinforces a belief. Becomes a problem when the system feels opposite of what you internally believe. Study of humans, past present, etc. cultural anthropologist shape language, feelings, thoughts, things… Archeologist are also bias. Some people will be uncomfortable in who you are or what you’re skilled at. Reclaiming that it’s ok (to fully be you) is a journey I don’t have to be like the people/ family/ I’m from. I don’t have to be violent, allow infidelity, be condescending, sarcastic, gossiping. We have a choice in what we believe. Why are you pursuing your degree- because we all respect and admire doctors- respect and success. Ya that’s not the right path for me… Clarity about what we don’t want is just as powerful as clarity about what we don’t want and both are needed. Why is it so hard for my family to accept me as I am based on their beliefs? You don’t have to experience chronic illness to have sympathy for someone; listening and trying your best to understand their experience in relation to systems. What is the resistance to your own ignorance? So much easier to attach to being right rather than accept you simply didn’t know differently Acknowledging limitations of your mentor; your own experiences etc. What matters to you for your life? Shared experience, collective environment, we can support each other through this, we can all come out the other end successful. Sometimes we say “there’s a reason it happened.” No. if you can acknowledge that you can be empowered, that’s what matters. Not the experience. Knowing you can make diamonds out of the shit show that you might have inherited or faced without your consent. Transmu

VA Crenshaw is a dancer, yoga practitioner, rapper and educator… never just one thing. She questions: can I be an educator and a rapper? Yes, yes you can. One person can be kind and genuine, and quick-witted, and wearing a cute outfit. How do we be more like kids before “adults” get involved? More apt to give complements and follow our passions instead of what we're "good" at? We carry shame we don’t think we have. VA shares myriad practices to come back to self and to the mat, and being fully yourself. Whether you’re in the classroom, lab, or boardroom. Like: Who are you when you’re not distracted by your schedule with? When you say something negative to yourself, who is saying that? Can you lead with love, in the classroom and beyond? Let the dam open up. Notes from the chat include: VA likes a Monday, a good reset. Attitude change to embrace the week. Go to be a teacher and student teaching is so short, you’re not prepared to get your mind around the routines and the political side of education. Nothing prepares you, you’re thrown to the wolves. Taught for a few years but then created a mobile enrichment program; dance and yoga; parents paid directly-- 2005-2010 full entrepreneur When teachers retired; the VCU (Virginia Commonwealth University) students were linked in Leading with love; listening first. Don’t jump to conclusions. Teachers often come in with ideas and activities instead of listening to what the students need Confidence and empowerment to help adult learners with rental and job applications, understanding their own children’s homework, etc. set up for service learning approach Simplest pieces: how to create good energy in your classroom once you do that you can do anything COVID was a lot of loss and gain. Time to reflect on what is next. Helping teachers make connections for students with “low scores”/ “behavioral issues” Sometimes you can forget how to teach, be out of touch. You can even feel like that when you are “young” or teaching in nontraditional spaces. Be on the journey of what’s opening up for you. VA started stream of consciousness writing led to writing raps. Spirit shows you divine purpose. Pray “Show me my divine purpose”. Stepping into creativity can feel cozy, right, felt connected with spirit Creative in yoga, teaching, writing… now music. Now all the creativity seeps out. Creative ways to get students to “perform” and want to be in school and to enjoy it. Still find it hard to own what I am (I’m a rapper and a teacher) should I be doing this? Am I forcing it? What am I really doing? Settling down, going with the flow can bring peace, go with the flow even if it’s not easy Filling your time because it’s hard to sit with yourself Deemed creative, artist, etc. as a kid but if you’re not “good” as a kid, you’re not that thing Being an artist feeds you; you must let that part of you live. You don’t have to be one thing. When you are good at painting, you can be quiet. Someone can walk by and not engage. But when you’re on stage, telling a story in a cadence, requires so much vulnerability. Exhilarating and elevated emotion and then it stops because you don’t release or post every day. Some days are normal or chill. Some days you get a call or email that changes your life. What do artists think? Oh, we think the same thing. Have the audacity to pivot if it fuels you. Allowing creativity to come out and through and then being willing to share it. Holding soft and sad, and faith to say: show me what’s next. Let someone have their feelings. Quiet frustration—nothing to fight for—surrender—and find what’s meant to be. When you’re not distracted by your schedule: who are you? Make a prayer list, take your time. Be ok when you lose your fire. Follow your calling. Let students find their fire. Pattern of being told who you are, ignoring, pushing through. Find who you are, hopefully and pray-fully and at their pace. Don’t force change, get up go to work and make the best of it. On your pray

Dr. Jaclyn Margolis is an associate professor of applied behavioral science and department head. I found her Instagram profile TheWorkplacePhD (which has since been rebranded to JacMargolisPhD), where she shares the journey of applying behavioral science in her own life—from gratitude practices to leading by example as a leader in her department. We jump in in this episode that we might have expertise (as flagged by a terminal degree), but the journey really is being in the seat of the learner: The mesearch in our research. Some key takeaways: - The world is in a heavy time. It's important to be empathetic and serve the greater community, and need to care for ourselves. The power of the "And." - We would never tell someone "sacrifice our physical health because there are hardships in the world" so we struggle with people who say we shouldn't protect our mental health because there are hardships in the world. - Learn about theory- practice- discover why it is or isn't working for you. Example: gratitude can be a powerful force (good for you and those around you), but a gratitude journal may not work. Try something else. - Educators should not say "I am right" but rather "I am learning and sharing what I know and I am open to hearing things that are different." - Scared or afraid to say opinion or “answers” because in the seat of the learner - Jaclyn studies the psychology of business: understanding what makes people tick and how to be happiest and healthiest at work they can be. - Leadership professor leading leadership professor sounds like beginning of a bad joke. - Leading by example: Start your day after coffee and pastry with your kiddo - Fill yourself before you hit the inbox! - How are you saving today? - When we talk about wellbeing, remember you can "save the day today" without falling into a rut that you "missed" your workout or opportunity. What's one thing you can do to change the "what the hell" mindset. - What would happen if you gave yourself to be funny, yourself, shift the culture? - Legacy of the way things were done-- but there's a movement to not do things as difficult as it was before. - What milestones bring you happiness? - How can you invest your energy in the process rather than the outcome? - Burnout can fluctuate up to 30%. A lot of burn out is difficult to change but you can feel better...your next 24 hours can start now. - Flourishing holistically-- career success has so many dimensions, and it's only one component of your life. - No joy comes from checking your H index. It's just not a worthwhile endeavor. - Once you hit a certain goal, it’s the bottom of another mountain to climb. - Vulnerability in admitting you know what you should be doing but not always doing it. - You can do anything, but not everything. - It's good to craft and focus on what's important to you, but it evolves. - Remember, life be lifing and people be peopling. Stay in touch: https://www.instagram.com/jacmargolisphd/

If you've ever hid parts of yourself; felt challenged by fashion or presentation of "you" for the lab, classroom, or conference; or were uncertain of where your "real" self v academic self begin and end-- this one's for you. Rebecca gets me with so many zingers like How am I complicit in hustle culture? It’s challenging to have your body on display. Academia often puts seriousness and intellect opposite of creativity, fun, and frivolity. The more you think about the self- academic connection the messier it gets. It’s a long journey back to self. Universities are having a crisis of communication ourselves. Empathy is free. Top tips for dressing in academia: If it’s not comfortable, it’s not worth it. Period. Play with what it means to be a professional—joyful ability to express. Don’t hide who you are, don’t be afraid to play A blazer will solve almost every problem you’re having A couple that look nice, you can pull it all together But there's so much more like: Fashion is a lot more serious than people give it credit for What you have on is an important part of what you communicate to the world. Clothing is part of confidence: I can do this, I do belong Becoming an academic is often accidental Consider academic if you come alive in teaching – see it as fulfilling, challenging, interesting, exciting to watch someone learn things right in front of your eyes  Teaching can be a stressful context; compassion and use student/office hours to assist in learning processes Faculty development teaching workshops. If your instructional communication or pedagogy class will change your life Consistency, structure, respect—don't worry if my students don’t think I’m cool or funny. If they think you respect them and consistent with empathy, they will trust then maybe like you more than if you were trying to be cool. A class is not me versus the student; it’s you and the students versus the problem Didn’t realize getting a PhD changes you as a person, personality, attitude, not just a “job” and there is no real way to revert from it. Once you go through an experience this life-changing It’s ok that it changes you but you don’t really know what you’re stepping into A person in clothes, speaking, etc. Grad school is in many ways more challenging more than being a professor; there’s no way; but yes, you are being asked to do so much in grad school; if you’re listening and still in training and trying to manage; wearing a lot of hats; expert but not; teacher but student; leads to heightened state of I need to be working and producing People brag about culture of work and how terrible their life is; virtue is tied to my productivit, which often leads to heightened anxiety- and further health issues  Academia will always ask me for more than I can give it If I don’t get away and hold boundaries, I’ll have serious issues How do I even do that if people say they haven’t slept 4 hours; how do I get out of it? I know I should rest but I haven’t been given the tools to do so Freedom to determine own schedule can also become a curse Department expects you to have outside interests; culture matters. Life is going to demand that you impose boundaries Previous self had an aggressive resistance by bringing whole self to work It’s ok to lie. Don’t be an academic martyr. If you had to stop teaching tomorrow, you would be replaced. Do you really think you’re that important that you don’t deserve time off? How are we reinforcing the system? How are we complicit? As we gain power we need to show, not just tell  Resources for further reading: Slow Professor: Challenging the Culture of Speed in the Academy https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26367751-slow-professor Steketee and Harden. Einstein’s combinatory play: A promising practice for creativity and well-being among public health professionals. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.puhip.2024.100546 Read "How to take a weekend": https://phdinclothes.com/2021/03/26/how-i-take-weekends-off-as-an-academic

Whether you are struggling with self worth or finances or how to role model health in the workplace, wellbeing architect and coach, Johnika Nixon, has some insights to soothe your soul. Johnika shares about her journey in higher education, in shedding old beliefs, and finding practices that help her get embodied. When discussing flourishing, she states, "just like you would research a plant, you need to research yourself." Johnika shares vulnerably about deconstructing her old beliefs and behaviors to reconstruct a new, healthful way of being -- both at work and in life. So many gems to share, highlighting a few here: - Reflection is important. Borrowing from both: - - Maya Angelou: I have great respect for the past. If you don't know where you've come from, you don't know where you're going. - - Ghanaian proverb: it is not taboo to go back for what you forgot or left behind - When you do good work, people see it (two promotions without even trying). But, there's a cost: "I did work so well, I missed other parts of myself" - Bringing your authentic self to life, work, parenthood, marriage - Define your whats and whys- boundaries- throat chakra activated to move forward, cleared 70k of debt and lost 50 lbs - Debt accrual to fix what seemed or felt broken, buy, hide, validate - Before identifying your values- you have to sit with yourself. You have to sit with decisions - Sometimes you need a sounding board to help you see where you are or aren’t clear on your values - Be bored. Be without. Challenge yourself. Track money you didn’t spend. What do you really want? Goals. - Workplace and spaces need to deconstruct so they are a place of wellbeing for individuals - Courageous conversation and radical candor when you take care of yourself -It’s not selfish to center self care for yourself, you are impaired when you drive, you’re being selfish to those on the road wanting to get home to their destination. We are on this journey of life together, more to ourselves, our villages, and the future.  - My wellbeing my self care my life is/ are non negotiable - Activating throat chakra is divine - If you take care of yourself they’ll know what… that you are beautifully human? - We need to coach leaders and individuals who supervise how to have intentional, thoughtful, meaningful engagement with people. People will be inspired to move mountains for you, the institution, the work they do, themselves - Flourishing is the embodiment of being able to set a boundary   Get in touch with Johnika: Instagram: pursesuitandtravel LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnikanixon/

Tune in to a conversation with my friend and colleague, Betsy Walker an Ayurvedic counselor and owner of Rasa Wellness. We learn about the art of daily living through her deep study and practice of ancient Ayurveda. Ayurveda is a path to physical vitality and wellbeing. We talk about how to apply these concepts in academia and beyond. Overall the discussion is about embracing the nature and purpose of life.  Take our dosha quiz! https://www.parcilab.org/doshaquiz Enjoy a free guided meditation at the end! Other key take aways: - Ayurveda gives us the knowledge to make choices to serve us in a moment - Everything is built of elements (selves, season [outside and in life], food, interactions) - What you consume matters from food to media - Three aims of Ayurveda: Regulate agni (digestive fire, poop) Reduce ama: (toxins) Increase ojas (immunity, light, glow) - Rest, digest, and sex: How we're sleeping; what we're consuming and how we're digesting it; use of energy-- energy putting out and energy taking in - How to balance nourishment and movement when someone else is setting your schedule - Poets and scientists who have gone mad—too much reception and we need to balance with love and compassion. Life right now is constant seeking and receiving information   - Aiming for peace, love, and stillness - How to balance when you're in different seasons of life and seasons we’re in - Happiness is u shaped curve - Season of grit and grind? Productivity and busyness bias. What to do when you’ve been saying you’ll slow down for 15 semesters - Svasta – sense of self, realness in who we are and what we’re doing regardless of the phase - "We feel young when not grounded in time but in ourselves" - Energetics around you but aims and goals of Ayurveda equip with choice - Academics spend so much time away from sense of self - We share practical applications about halfway through! (29 min in) - Strength and opportunities of each dosha; Awareness is to see where pulled out of balance to pull ourselves back in - Dosha is your constitution, mental and physical tendencies, natural to you Vata- that which moves things, air, ether, good day creative, out of balance anxious, flakey. Dancer artist Pitta that which transforms, fire and water, hot, sharp, oily, charismatic, leaders, fast speech tendencies, out of balance judgement and anger Kapha, earth and water, nurtures, caretakers, calming, when out of balance stagnation, heaviness, hording, depression - We can all have the perfect poop - We have the perfect dosha for our dharma - Distance between what you’re born with and current energies informs care - Who you are, what season you are in, you are not broken - Myth busting like: Ayuvedic cleanse isn’t about restriction. Give your body what it needs to create space for clarity and illumination- extract what you don’t need and create space - Gives us tools to live a life of peace - A brief reflection on what happens when you have so many privileges, but your body or mind is still in distress - Oldest system of wellness and how to appreciate the gifts of this system through cultural appreciation - Everyone on this earths birthright to feel the best they can feel, recognize where the wisdom came from - The land where your blood and bones came from- what was medicine for them? That in turn might be medicine for us  - Upholding respect and giving back and showing up in the right way to do honor for this tradition and recognizing anyone walking this earth can have a path to wellness - I grapple with my need for rest and healing and how dare I seek this; "Who am I to share? Who am I not to!" - Feel your feelings instead of intellectualizing - Real recognize real: Just be you! - A new approach can feel like we have to change, laundry list of things to improve - Flourishing when you can remain resilient because it's not always going to be smooth sailing; but you have the health, heart, and nervous system takes us through all of it Connect with Betsy

Monika Staab ((soon to be Dr.) is awaiting her certificate for a PhD in adult and continuing education—specifically related to international comparison in educational processes. She shares about the need for courage and vulnerability to step into joy and ease on the academic path. As a dissertation coach, she is in a “learning rhythm” with the clients. And, she reminds us all that when we let go of what other people think (or what we think they think), we can lead with excellence. Monika and I have different characters, peaks, and valleys, but our story is the same...We used our pain to fuel the desire to create higher vibrations in higher education one professor, one lecturer, one PhD student, one person at a time. Systems are slow to change, but we can keep reflecting on our why, what we need, and what do we want to change? Other key takeaways include: Join us in a guided breath practice: Andrew Huberman’s lab at Stanford found that these 2-3 breaths can calm us (before presentations, whenever we need). It’s an instinctive breath. Give yourself more space From the outside—everyone said you’re so successful, organized, perfect, etc., but there’s a different story when we look inside. Want to be the person I missed throughout my journey- someone by my side to save time, energy and pain so that’s what she’s providing 1:1 coaching What do I want, and need? What are my values? In academic, it seems like everyone is perfect. Has it all together. So, in order to belong, I have to be miserable and perfect COVID let Monika see that professors were struggling- their faces, health issues, etc. Check in: what do I need now? Maybe meditation is no longer working. Self-care has misconceptions Yes, there are always concerns for money for self-employed/entrepreneur, but it is worth it If you keep thinking “if I have this degree, I’ll be happy” ; we put too much pressure on ourselves: you have to look into yourself, your soul Takes courage to step in believe and redefine success Where did we get the idea that the professors have why, anchor point, joy? PhD students afraid to share mistakes and struggles because it’s so competitive Mind your PhD namesake: what is important to me courage to share I’m not ok and I have struggles. Release mask and façade Be clear on passion, values and purpose. You can pick a career and pivot. Find your why and purpose can change over time There is no direct word to translate flourishing in German—and in English, it’s a word you can feel Flourishing isn’t an end goal, and achievement, it’s a continuous process, check in We don’t need another slide deck, we just need to connect Change our own lives and have a ripple effect More at: www.mindyourphd.com https://www.instagram.com/mindyourphd/ Sign up for a coffee chat!

In reflecting on her stellar career thus far, Dr. Heather Leach brings a lightness to the journey. She recounts how she started her education but was “there for the soccer”… finding the degree came separately. Unsurprisingly, to me, she found Health and Exercise Science. Through an internship at NASA she learned what the research was… then came a MS and PhD and Postdoc and when we talked, she was in the last few weeks of her sabbatical (academic rest). We laugh and reflect on the journey, trying to lay out some “cheat codes” for you to find joy in your academic pursuits. A lot of it comes down to this: find your passion; dial up what you love, dial down what you don’t love; take sacred rest whenever you can. My favorite share... "What are you going to do with your PhD?... Whatever the hell I want." Other key takeaways include: Find your passion and maybe you can “back fill” what job or degree Exercise as treatment to chronic disease You can hold on to the fun of learning when you constantly curious Seek all the information you can: find the right fit for your expertise and daily desires Beware of our own self-imposed goals If you work all weekend or all break, there’s still more to do, where do you press pause, where do you stop Along the way you might find the epiphany, “I know what I should do to play the game, but I struggle, it doesn’t excite me. If I got the grant if the reviewers say high impact but I don’t think we should do the study. Can I do rigorous science and follow the rules but do the work I think will actually make a difference to the field and the people we are doing these studies for?” Slow down: Dr. Leach wishes she had had a 5 year plan with step by step foresight If you have the privilege of sabbatical: TAKE it…figure it out, stay cation: Do not decline yourself the reset You can make this whatever you want it to be (the pursuit, what you do with it, how you apply, who you serve) …. Don’t want for a dept head or mentor to tell you that You can have a restful, peaceful, and filled with adventure, by design Don’t forget the interests you had before, they don’t have to be hidden Flourishing is firing on all cylinders: Let’s get it! Redefining what success is, it’s not the same motivator that got us to tenure

When people are told that they are overly sensitive or thinking too much—instead of lauding gifts of insight and protection—they feel isolated and alone, and start to wonder, “Is there something wrong with me?” This was the genesis of Miriam Verheyden’s experience with her own self-doubt, intrusive thoughts and… eventual understanding of depression, alcohol misuse, and PMDD. PMDD is premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which is distinctly different from PMS and is more closely related to hormone imbalances that lead to sever psychological symptoms (like depression, anger) as well as skin, gastrointestinal symptoms, fluid retention to name a few. At the cross-section of being on her 40s, being almost 2 years sober, and having multiple incredible published books out—Miriam brings a voice to women navigating shame and resilience. I almost audibly gasp when she says she doesn't take being called "selfish" as an insult: We are responsible for ourselves, we have to be selfish. Other key takeaways include: All feelings are valid, observe with compassion, feelings don’t define you. In savasana or otherwise If you don’t want to talk to someone, start writing- it’s liberating and often not as bad as you think it is. Reach outside of yourself. How do you let go of what you’ve written? Once it’s out it’s not yours anymore- write and release Journey we are on to become our best selves while navigating everything happening in the world is messy, not polished, just like a “snapshot” within a memoir In sobriety, everything is turned up (brighter, louder, flooding emotions) Hiding your “not good sides” is more painful than outing them, shame is such a heavy feeling to carry. Warm ball inside of me, warming me—everything that happened and I’ve been through is ok Hide = this is terrible. Out it = better outside perspective. Not that bad Raised with conditional love = get love when you do what your caregivers and teachers approve/ like Don’t should all over yourself: do more, try harder to maintain friendships, become a person you are proud of – without being in hustle culture of always improving—but be somebody you can look in the eye and say you know what, I did the best I could. I'm trying to be kind and helpful, and if others don’t understand or approve, it has nothing to do with me Unlearn decades of conditioning… of being pleasing… to the eye, the way we behave. Rebellious I’m not playing this game anymore Find sisterhood: See women as friends and supporters People’s opinions, or critiques: It ceases to matter. It stings. But it doesn’t really matter Someone bothering you: You have the right to not respond Refuse to see “selfish” as an insult because it’s nobody else’s responsibility Cutting out drinking is a huge time saver I can be alone with thoughts and feel at peace; Wake up before the alarm What we women have to learn is to not be so hard on ourselves, we don’t have to do anything; we are worthy on days when we literally don’t do anything. If there’s a day you have to stay in bed, that’s ok. The myth that we always have to be better—just take it easy more kindness and grace More at: https://miriamverheyden.com/ Specifically, the book that started Everything is Broken and Completely Fine

Dr. Natalaya Androsova, a writing and dissertation coach, studied linguistics & the communication and cultural aspects of language for her PhD. When I recorded this episode with Dr. Androsova, I felt so seen, safe, and held by her energy and trust with the universe. What I left knowing was that my inner writing critic isn't about my prose: It’s about my inability to prioritize time. Each of us might be “cobblers without shoes” as we pour our heart and soul onto the page, but are not yet published or not published in the way we hope. We talk about our own personal practices, remind you that you are never alone, and encourage you to remember that someone else might benefit from your words. Keep writing, keep sharing, build your trust in yourself, and as Natalya shares, you can borrow her trust in the meantime.   Other key takeaways: Meditation can change relationship to writing and to Self Be an apprentice of language- be open to what it has to teach and show today We need to chisel away at the heaviness or writing. The heaviness we’ve put on ourselves and our writing; When she works with a client, she sees a person in front of her…she sees the whole, creative, brilliant, person, she doesn’t see “lack.” She had to give up what she loves or find a new way (find a way) … then wrote 3 books in 3 years via 30-45 min Trust life fully Say yes to where life invites me if it aligns with my values; no more serving fear Magic of 7 min writing meditation (more than 5 superficial and not overwhelming) from working with 100s of people Writing is the meaning; freedom. "You come to the mat, I come to the page." Safety, security, money, prestige—are all just external noise When we believe life is my best friend, has my  back, is my secretary—magical synchronicity happen Less we try to manage, the more successful life is This document isn't a representation of your worth Put down the need to change system, to surrender, it’s not about other people, is there a seeming conflict or miscommunication- the key is to look inside. What am I making this mean? Find joy within any circumstance How important relationship with self: self reflection, self reliance, self compassion, self kindness, self forgiveness, self acceptance, self advocacy and self talk Rare to be “not” flourishing because such a relationship with self If you don’t need your books to be sold; you can be disciple of what you love; then writers and readers can be free Expertise of others is distracting; show up as yourself Everyone takes a journey from self doubt to self trust.. if you need to borrow my faith and trust, you can… you are not alone, there’s help and you have the strength and resources to trust yourself and be kind to yourself and writing More at: https://www.writingdissertationcoach.com/   https://www.instagram.com/natalya_androsova_/

When I wanted to speak with someone about how to weave more faith and spirituality into my work as an academic Tamra Andress launched into my mind. Tamra is a best-selling author, spiritual entrepreneur, coach, podcaster, and ordained minister. She also happens to be someone I’ve known since 9th grade. When I stepped away from social media, she was stepping in and up with a colorful platform that “sells words” related to “obliterate(ing) shame and activat(ing) purpose” and putting faith at the forefront of entrepreneurial endeavors. We keep it pretty faith agnostic— so that you can see how spirituality can be an element within any given moment. Her book, Always Becoming, is on bookshelves everywhere. Tune in at F.i.T. in Faith podcast.   And her website: https://tamraandress.com/   Highlights include: I can be all of myself, in all places. Here you are the body as an athlete; here as the mind because you are an academic …musician, actor, mom, wife… faith is an element that shows up in every single one. Show up as who you are in every given moment. Living a bountiful life means not living a fragmented life…. Fragmentation will leave you disillusioned. “Disillusion will leave you lifeless and breathless.” There is something to aging out of other people’s perceptions…Society, media, friends and family and social network encourage one version of me. At a quarter life (or mid-life) crisis, someone might feel “wildly void”; that you have lost your voice not knowing what we’re passionate about, checking boxes of being busy. Power in intentionality; busyness not so much. I tap into my mind body and spirit. And I choose to be here. In that choice, there is fulfillment. When your passion becomes more of your pursuit than the prioritization of look or feel or accomplishment, you start to flourish. Passion can be hard… but favor follows friction Can spirit be in the medical field as much as the church? If you’re in the unpacking journey, just start somewhere. Construct a life creativity. (check out Artisan Soul). Let it go- keep falling, fall away from safety zone. Don’t “wait for tenure” or “wait for retirement”—what does that even mean? Sometimes people get removed when you evolve in mind body spirit entity, you might ask, “will someone evolve with me?” 7 year itch, biochemically, you have changed. Continue dating while married. Don’t ever stop getting to know someone as they grow. Science and faith go hand in hand, but make a space where they don’t feel threatened? Academia blended with spirituality, releasing control…but those in academia want control. Spirituality is not a separate entity of self. Help other people develop passions from pains. Curate message from past and what you imaging future to be to serve others. Essence of a messenger—once you excavate- newness that is your human experience, divine revelation, learn yourself, research yourself and become more who you are supposed to be. I will vocalize my essence- be free in one given moment and not a destination unknown. Not in a religion you are in a relationship…An energetic exchange…Energy is something familiar scientifically.   Check out: Book: Artisan Soul Mode: Ikigai Finding Meaning in Work and Life

We all have those moments that challenge us: Do we belong here? We can use our senses to revisit the moment without being overwhelmed by it. In this brief guided visualization, we embrace a moment where we felt that we didn't belong, process it, and balance the sacral chakra of connection and creativity.

On this episode, I interview Drs. Dave Pena and Elizabeth Berry. Elizabeth posted on Instagram about pursuing a PhD being anxiety provoking. She wondered: Where are the expectations coming from and why do we (as people) perpetuate it? It’s seen as a rite of passage. Is that reason enough? She thinks, wait my boss and committee members went through this too, and her “brain goes to would I ask these in a different way? Treat myself like they’re treating me?” What happens from the time you’re a PhD student to an assistant professor. We jump right in to dialogue and Dave shares some of his experiences and the conflict between what you want (to gain skills and get out) and what your mentor wants.   What we know from research in Occupational Safety and Health is that leadership, specifically, middle management is an indicator of the environment. Which, sometimes can be toxic. Toxic to the point of illegal (some stories Dave shared offline). While all of us had different experiences, we had similar pain points of “not knowing" what we can or should do (or what a healthy level of expectation might be). Dave suggests a committee (like IACUC and IRB for grad students!). Elizabeth and I agree wholeheartedly and our conversation continues.   We wrap with the challenges of deciding to stay or leave a lab. You have to choose your right kind of hard: What suits your personality, resources, abilities. Other take aways include: If you are a mentor or mentee: Check on prior and current performance, attitude, past data … are they changing? What’s going on? Can something change for the better? Through more communication and discussion, we need to change the discourse about mental health decline during grad school We model based on what we’ve seen… just like we don’t know how to be students, we don’t know how to be leaders. There remains generational trauma – to break this cycle it takes people who are more awake and more in tuned with different parts of being a scholar and humans When people are mis-mentored, or not mentored at all, they don’t know what to do because they were never taught (you are often so deep in your content, so you don’t have time for business and pedagogy classes) We need more holistic education We’re not all having the same experience, even in the same lab, but we still experience similar pain points. *Bonus content of how I found yoga Handles: Elizabeth: @nature.neuroscience.phd Dave: @doctor_pena and his start up: stremecoder.com and pluri.design

We make decisions each day. We ruminate on whether it was the "right one." We lose perspective of our safety- our present. And our future. We often go to our "worst case scenario" instead of our "best case scenario." Tune in to this Samma Says for a guided meditation to engage your scenes and identify the best case scenario.

We are not doing this academic work for anything except to be of service. Of service to the greater good, to our communities that we hope to empower, to provide answers to really tough questions. We are doing this to be vessels of service. We need to remember why we are doing what we’re doing. It’s hard to do that when something is absconded with or taken out of context, like service. On this episode, I talk a little bit of trash about service within academia. We’re expected to be of service to keep the system running and rolling. Asked to serve dept, college, university, our topic-area societies/organizations and greater scientific community with the gift of our time. Time is our most precious commodity.  But then we’re asked to review peer review journal articles, conference abstracts, presentations, webinars, guest lectures, ccommittee service...To do this and to do that—all for free. And at the end of the week, we sit back and think, "I didn’t actually even move the needle on the things that I’m paid to do.” Why do we continue to agree to this and work 60, 80 hour weeks because we’re spending so much time serving the greater good that we’re not serving our labs, students, selves, and families, because we’re doing all this service to be an "internationally recognized whatever." It’s because I was tricked by the word “service.” I want to be of service.I believe in putting in my time, energy and efforts—and it’s not altruistically necessary: It’s all to feed and fuel that we matter, that our opinion mattered along the way I used to get a little excited when people would invite me because it meant that my opinion matters. We have to know that our opinion and our work matters and how to appropriately compensate.   Need to make this idea make it to the ears and hearts of administrators, of people who can rethink the infrastructure and think hey, maybe we should be compensated and level of peer review can be graded or valued, instead of getting shitty feedback that took 20 min or less and doesn’t advance the science Money is energy. Money is an energetic exchange of your efforts. Yoga principles for flourishing in academia and beyond, I’m recognizing that part of my lethargy, overwhelm, burn out is root chakra imbalance is based on how much time I spend in service to the “suits”—the people making money off of the business of education.   I invite us to advocate for any opportunities to be compensated for your previous time. Your time, efforts, expertise are so appreciated, thank you for being part of this system and cycle of positivity and overwork or overwhelm.

You're feeling overwhelmed? Who wouldn't be with what you have going on. Take a few moments to pause with me and greet and explore the sensation of overwhelm. Own, invest, take authority of your sensation Identify where it lives in your body Stay curious and build a relationship with the sensation Emotions are energy in motion Energy in motion Emotional flexibility is the goal; strength to change is the goal; this is a workout for your soul Thank you overwhelm for alerting me. I am not broken, I am human. I needed this sensation to cue me to pause. Thank you, but I don't need you, Overwhelm, right this moment. What do you need right now? Be aware without judgement, be kind to you.

Trigger warning: In this episode, Terri and I complete our conversation from the previous episode (How to take up space) and the dance that people have to engage in: Between dressing, presenting, and acting how we want and the repercussions of it. We talk about what people might think or say...and don't directly address what people might do, but we address that living out loud or the nuance of "living in the skin you're in" is challenging. We talk about how being sensual and dressing up does not equate to sexual, and there's a right use of energy for each of us to explore in our own ethics and parameters. But: When we try to hide ourselves, we're not helping to take up space. Other comments include: -Practice- exposure therapy- of just doing it—showing up as yourself. - When you live out loud there’s a possibility that people will say or do something...You can't tell people that they can’t say something. -If you are living out loud, you have to figure out how you’re going to navigate it. - Baffling that we can’t see ourselves how others have seen us - There's a spectrum of low self esteem to egoic—where on the spectrum am I? I acknowledge the ways in which I was pretending in past. - Based on our experiences (pain, shame, trauma), some of us have expanded and contracted - Most people living life in a more feminine way have had those experiences where it’s not safe to live out loud - What I put out and how it’s received are two different things - I don’t want to be chosen anymore—as women we dress up to get attention—we are doing it for us. - How do I do this, lipstick, be confident, be cute, and there’s a possibility that someone is going to say something. I can’t control it. - We chameleon to fit, mold.. belong but I don’t even know how I like my own eggs (Julia Robert’s character on Runaway Bride-- not knowing yourself) - Being chosen v doing the choosing - Personal transformation of a divorce- taking all the layers of taking it off, chosen different, I don’t want to be chosen anymore, when I wear the lipstick or the outfit, I’m choosing -Practice loving yourself, choosing yourself, being your best friend. Giving yourself grace when you don’t have enough water, food, or a best friend to hype you up. - Trying to keep up, trying to be cute. To be chosen. To keep up. It’s never enough. - Continuously treading water. Even when nobody says you’re not enough… -More grounded and confident and sexier and whatever today than when we’re jumping around trying to get chosen - I’m not here for your eyes, approval, permission—being sensual isn’t being sexual. Explore your own ethics, morals, practices. It’s complicated. - They might think that I was looking for attention. Maybe they did maybe they didn’t - When you're on autopilot, sometimes you forget to look at yourself in the mirror and say something nice. Give it a try! - My new wish is to help someone get there before 37. Wisdom, confidence, age.. throwing stone to someone behind us.. love yourself, be your own best friend - Accountability partners are important-- for when you can't see you the way someone who loves you does. If you've lost touch with a friend, you can always reach back out

Terri Miller brings her expertise in education to create plain language to disseminate science and policy to a very broad audience via the Federal Trade Commission. She provides us with strategies to cultivate grace for ourselves, and to give us time and space for learning, growing, and sharing. Terri and I talk about science, and life, and distraction and presence all at once and how we find friends to be mirrors on our work-life journeys (hint: it's just life). Terri shares that she is not a yoga practitioner or scientist by trade but that this podcast and the samma says reminders help her get energy out and remember to breathe-- helping to show that this podcast is for all: In and out of the academy- those who love or are less familiar with yoga principles. Other mental chatter-stopping takeaways are: Is it ever enough? It’s not, so on this moment I will take a breath and just be to try to find the balance of being a professional, a high performer and being able to stop in the middle of that and just breathe “What works” for wellness is found by “trail and error on what works for you: Right now a tool is to live in all the spaces of your house- take up this space that I’ve purchased. Using all the space—shake up the monotony of “this is what I do” How do you unlearn or learn that other people’s opinions about me (appearance, activities) doesn’t define you? It starts with “confidence at home… is in the everyday things… and conversations.” You don’t need “their” permission. Not everyone has to like you… who you are and what you bring to the table and what your values are (is never based on someone else's opinion). Talking to ourselves the way our best friend would speak to us… how do we become one of our own best friends…Maybe that’s the cheat code to be our own best friend and boost each other (to speak more kindly to ourselves in our own minds) You think these things in your head… but when you do it in practice, it’s a moment to walk into a room not caring what other people think. I am going to take up all the space. I don’t need permission. Give interns or student staff a seat at the table so they can understand context. Either at big meetings or when not appropriate, one on one… Have empathy, creating space…giving pieces that they need to tie it together… carve out the time to have those conversations. Being intentional about their time with you. There are things they want to get out of the time with you and a lot of that doesn’t happen without intention The practice of …being in the seat of a learner and having a curiosity about things ideally would help you to remember that you have not always known the things that you know…and that you don’t know everything “One thing that has been so helpful during this “intimidating work, imposter syndrome, am I enough, there’s not enough hours in the day, is this the right fit… did I make a bad career choice/decision.” Is to run into the fire and set up 1:1 with your boss. Creates the opportunity to show what you’re bringing to the table and to get feedback Flourishing is when I have carved out space for people who are important to me How important it is to not should on yourself. When you’ve given what you have to give, leave some grace for yourself. And in that moment you carved for yourself, don’t “should.” Find Terri on Linked In at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/terri-miller1/

Jess Matthews Dr. Jessica Matthews is here to “surprise and delight” us with her authenticity and reminders as she weaves life lessons, including some from yoga principles such as the yamas and niyamas and a near-death experience, into everyday life. My biggest take away from the conversation was how to show up as yourself, in all spaces. Who you are in the classroom, on the street, or on a podcast could be the same person. And, the less time we spend pretending, the more time we can spend toward our true north, which is creating spaces for students to learn and grow. We wrap with the reminder that you only have one life: so there is no “work/life” balance—it’s just a balance. Other highlights include: An ongoing subject worth discussing: whether you want to be called by your “Dr” title or not Having great relationships is one facet of a greater whole, great relationships are rooted in compassion. When we see others who are struggling, who don’t show up in their best way… we meet them with genuine compassion. We have no idea what they are navigating in their life. I can only control my inner world: my own thoughts, response, and in turn actions Yamas and niyamas are guiding principles for how we interface with the world The importance of us to have honest dialogue about actual things that happen- staya. Speak truthfully in a nonviolent way (ahimsa). Kind candor. Genuine curiosity about an exchange, the players involved… no stereotypes or generalizations. Broach certain subjects with kind candor in mind.   Nutshell version of “what is life.” Just being a human is a very intricate journey and so is my professional one… they are intertwined… because I’m a person who shows up in all these places Root issues are not attended to… prevention chronic disease and the very things that prevent them can also effectively treat them. I know so much about the human body… people “know” they should mitigate stress but they don’t do those things… so I went and got immersed in behavioral science Concerned about the revenue generating nature of yoga teacher trainings (YTT): about the amount of money and then who would have access to those training; so she built a YTT at community college. Accessible, cost effective, and the quality is high. I work with real, whole people (People) operate from the place they know… they give you options, A or B… a natural evolution for an educator. … we can’t be told what’s possible by people who don’t know what’s possible. Positive psychology has a lot of misinterpretation… it is not saying that we discount the totality of the human experience—there is inherent suffering—life will have not bright spots… shift away from toxic positivity… but to shift in mentality to look for a moment to look at what is going right? I’m an optimist and a realist… the optimist in me sees more value given… to wear all the hats (academy, industry, clinical) stay on same mission that we’re here to serve the students. Same shared page is recognizing that there is value in having diverse experiences. Our true north, our shared mission is the students She developed a coaching conference with the ideas that: Speakers compensated; price should be something that is accessible; and you know what also, it could serve the greater good. So she engineer a lot of things. (A healthy lifestyle) is a practice, not a perfect, continual recalibration always… seasons of life and professional journey turning up and down dials “Values are front and center; health and wellbeing, relationships; … I don’t stray. They are very solid and firm. How much I’m in them (may shift)” Yoga and mindfulness practices apply in life. What we do on the mat is such a small sliver of living mindfully. Busyness is not a badge of honor—around 46 min Stretch opportunity- challenge me but that’s actually supportive of change. The right amount of discomfort, not a huge change… just a right amount of stretch to move the wheels in the direction you want to go. What works