When you visit your ill or aging parents over the holidays, you might be in for a surprise. Maybe your mom seems confused or your dad is having trouble with driving. Maybe you're not sure if the changes you're seeing are something to worry about or are just normal aging. What should you look for? What should you worry about? What changes are not actually concerning? In this episode of The Integrative Palliative Podcast, Dr. Delia Chiaramonte discusses what to look for when you visit you...

Some people have wonderful experiences with hospice, and other people say the experience was terrible. What's the difference? If your loved one is sick enough to need hospice, it's a highly stressful time for your whole family. Whether your loved one has cancer, dementia, ALS, COPD or another serious illness, making the decision for when to request hospice care is tough. Once you've made the decision to start hospice, how do you make sure that your loved one and your family get the very best ...

Grief is tough. It is so very hard when a loved one dies. Whether it is expected because of serious illness or a total shock, grief is painful. And also, grief is part of life. Sometimes people compound their suffering by asking "Why am I still grieving so hard?" or "Shouldn't I be better by now?" Trying to push grief away doesn't help. In fact, it can make grieving even harder. This meditation is an invitation to make peace with grief. If you have ever lost a person, a pet, a pri...

Facing a serious loss after a loved one has died is just so tough. Without meaning to we can compound the stress of it all by how we approach our grief. The mindful approach to grief involves noticing, not judging, and using compassionate curiosity. It makes space for grief because grief is part of life and love. Here is the reference mentioned in the episode: Huang FY, et al. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy on bereavement grief: Alterations of resting-state network connectivi...

Caregiving doesn't just happen in the current moment - it brings old family roles that we've been playing out since childhood back to life. The "responsible one" burns out, and the "favorite" expects everyone to defer to them. The "ghost" fades into the background, and the "rebel" resists every decision. In this episode Dr. Delia Chiaramonte explores the hidden scripts that siblings carry into caregiving, why they cause so much conflict, and how you can step out of those roles instead o...

When someone is nearing the end of life, the idea of leaving behind a “goodbye” or legacy letter can feel meaningful, but also overwhelming. What do you say? How do you start? In this episode, Dr. Delia offers a gentle guide to writing a letter that captures your love, gratitude, and wisdom without the pressure to be perfect. You’ll learn: Why legacy letters matter so deeply for both the writer and the readerSimple tips to make the process less overwhelmingTen powerful prompts to spark your w...

We all need this episode. Whether you're a family caregiver, caring for an ill or aging loved one, or you're a busy clinician who cares for seriously ill patients, this episode is for you. Michael L Smith shares his wisdom and inspirational guidance about how we all block the love that we deserve and how we can learn to receive it. Michael is a visionary author, speaker, and transformational guide whose life’s work bridges love, longevity, holistic well-being, and human potential. Michael has...

Caring for a parent who is aging or who has dementia, debility, or serious illness such as cancer can be absolutely exhausting. It can feel like you're hanging on by your fingernails. This week on The Integrative Palliative Podcast we're talking about 15 ways to help you care for yourself as you care for your aging parent. Your wellbeing matters too. - Dr. Delia www.integrativepalliative.com Join our Facebook Group, CareWell for Caregivers Coping Courageously: A Heart-Centered Gui...

If your parent has cancer, dementia, serious illness, or is just declining because they're getting older, you may feel the urge to help them as they get weaker. Perhaps you make space in your busy life, juggle responsibilities with both your parents and your kids, research the best care, and just try your best to show up for your parents. When you do all that it can be shocking and frustrating if your parents rebuff your efforts to help. This week on The Integrative Palliative Podcast I...

There are so many kinds of grieving. You may be grieving the death of a loved one, a pet, a breast, a job, or you may be experiencing anticipatory grief for a loved one who is ill or aging. Grief is not a competition. There is no hierarchy of grief. Some people are grieving the loss of a spouse or the loss of a child or the loss of a sibling or parent. Everyone's grief is individual, and there is no value in comparing. If you have an ill or aging loved one, or a loved one who has died, listen...

Caring for an aging parent is hard in the best of circumstances. Whether your parent has cancer, Alzheimer's disease, another form of dementia, or an end of life condition, it can be overwhelming, exhausting, and stressful to support them as their health declines. Add in challenging relationships with your siblings, and the whole mess can feel unmanageable. This week on The Integrative Palliative Podcast we'll talk about what you can do when you're caring for an aging parent with siblings who...

Zoom memorials or celebrations of life get a bad rap. They may be seen as a second class way to honor a loved one - far less meaningful than a standard funeral. Let's rethink that narrative! Having a celebration of life by Zoom can be a powerful and meaningful way to honor your loved one who has died. They are easier to plan and they allow far away friends and relatives to attend and celebrate your loved one. This week on The Integrative Palliative Podcast I provide a practical roadmap for cr...

After the death of a loved one, it can be difficult to know what to do with their ashes. In this episode of The Integrative Palliative Podcast we explore the many meaningful ways people can honor their loved ones by using their ashes in creative ways. From stones to records to jewelry to coral reefs (and more), there are many ways to use your loved one's ashes. Choosing a meaningful approach can help coping and grieving. Have a listen and let me know what you would add. Take care of you...

When a loved one is sick and caregiving gets exhausting, it can be powerful to have someone give you permission to take a break. Should you need their permission? Of course not. But the voices in your mind can be critical and bossy and insist that you continue to work or take care of other people until you're completely exhausted, stressed and depleted. This week we discuss the power of permission when we offer it to other people and also when we offer it to ourselves. What permission can you...

When someone you love is is ill or had died, life feels hard. Yet sometimes we add to our distress by judging how we are feeling or behaving. We feel sad and then we feel critical that we're still sad. We feel angry and then feel guilty that we feel angry. It is the "shoulds" that cause us distress - it doesn't have to be that way. This week I'll share the 3 words that can help reduce your suffering. I'm glad you're here! Delia www.integrativepalliative.com Coping Courageously: A ...

In this deeply personal and powerful episode, Dr. Delia Chiaramonte shares her experience of traumatic loss of both her father and her father-in-law. Traumatic grief is not just about missing someone—it’s about having your sense of the world torn apart. It can show up in surprising ways: emotional numbness, panic, guilt, dissociation, and even physical symptoms. In this episode, you’ll learn how traumatic grief differs from more typical grief, and what helps people begin to heal. You’ll...

Not having access to Medical Aid in Dying can drastically increase suffering for dying people and their families. This week I'll share a deeply personal and painful story about a dying man who wanted to have control over his death and what why he had to face it alone. Helping healers heal others and themselves. Delia Delia Chiaramonte, MD www.integrativepalliative.com Coping Courageously: A Heart-Centered Guide for Navigating a Loved One’s Illness Without Losing Yourself is available here: ww...

It's been an interesting experience for me to experience the loss of my dad and both feel my own grief and also observe it with the lens of a palliative care physician. I have noticed how healing it has been for me when others bear witness to my pain and also when they bear witness to my dad as a person. This is how we can best support people who are grieving after someone they love has died: bear witness to the pain or bear witness to the person. Helping healers heal others and themselves. D...

Grief isn't only an issue after a person dies. Anticipatory grief shows up long before a person has passed away. Families facing dementia, ALS, cancer, renal failure, and other serious illnesses can experience anticipatory grief long before the very end of life. This week we take a look at anticipatory grief from the inside because my family is facing it right now. This episode is for you if you are a clinician who cares for the ill and aging or if you are a person who has an ill or aging per...

Everyone should have an advanced directive. Full stop. You, your parents, your partner, your adult kids - everyone. Most people know that having an advance directive is important but they feel awkward or anxious about actually making it happen. I've seen patients with stroke have a terrible outcome from a poorly done advance directive. And I've seen family members of people with cancer suffer because their loved one didn't have an advance directive even though their illness was very severe. I...