Imagine having a system where you can stop spiralling within 30 minutes after you’ve been triggered by the ex. Not three hours. Not three days. 30 minutes. That's what we're talking about today. You know you shouldn't engage when she sends those messages. You know you should have boundaries. You know you should stay calm. But here's the problem. You can't. You’re triggered. And even though you told yourself you wouldn't engage this time – you find yourself doing it anyway. You respond. ...

You know that feeling when you've been triggered. She sends that text, makes that comment, or pulls something, and instantly, your heart's pounding. You feel shaky. Then you react. Maybe you snap. Maybe you say something you regret. And then the spiral starts. Hours later, you're still thinking about it. You try to focus on work – but you can't. That night, you're awake at 2am, still replaying it. The next day, you're exhausted. Short-tempered. And beating yourself up. "Why can't I just let t...

Imagine the ex tries to manipulate you, and you just... don't react. Instead, you just go about your day. She has no power over you. Sounds nice, right? But that's not what's happening. What's actually happening is this – she says something and immediately you're frustrated. You start explaining. Defending. She comes back with something ridiculous. Now you're angry. And the cycle continues. Here's why you can't seem to stop – you're trying to force yourself to stay calm while your brain is sc...

You walk away from a conversation with the ex and feel... confused. Guilty, even. You know she was in the wrong. But somehow, by the end of it, you or your partner were apologising. Did she just manipulate you? Or are you just overthinking it? Here's the truth: if you're confused, there's a good chance you're being manipulated. And the worst part is that you start doubting yourself. Maybe you ARE remembering it wrong. Maybe this really IS your fault. But it's not. And toady, I'm going to show...

There's this question mark that seems to follow you everywhere. It causes you to hesitate before walking into school events. To second-guess when helping the kids with homework. "Do I even belong in this family?" You didn't used to feel this way. You came into this relationship confident. Ready to be part of the family. But now you wonder if maybe the ex is right. Maybe you are overstepping. Maybe you’re not helping. Maybe they'd be better off without you. Everyone tells you she's just ...

You've been pushing the thought away for a while now... “maybe this relationship isn't going to work.” You love him. You're trying. But the high conflict ex creates endless drama, it’s not getting better, and you're starting to wonder if the only way you'll ever feel happy again is if you leave. But you can't decide whether you should stay or go. Both options are painful. So you go back and forth, exhausted by the question. In this episode, I'm giving you a framework to actually make th...

Does it feel like your entire relationship revolves around his toxic ex? You sit down for dinner and within five minutes, you're talking about something she said. You're trying to have a quiet morning and her name comes up. You want to relax on the couch with your partner but there's this tension because of what happened earlier with her. She's not even there. But she's everywhere. And here's the thing – you can't actually relax in your own relationship. There's no safe space from her. ...

You've had another fight about the ex. He's shut down, you're exhausted and wondering if your relationship can survive much more of this. You both need to get on the same page to protect your relationship, and in this episode, I’ll show you how. I discuss how to know if he’s ready, how to have the conversation, how to figure out what your united front actually looks like, and how to support each other when she inevitably tests it. If you're tired of feeling like you're fighting each oth...

Another text comes through. Your partner spirals. And suddenly you're the one drafting responses at 2am and researching parental alienation strategies. You're disappearing under the weight of it. And then you feel guilty for thinking "I don't know how long I can keep doing this". But there is another way. You can be there for him and protect yourself at the same time. In this episode – I'll show you how. You'll learn how to step back without the guilt, stay grounded when he's falling apart, a...

It feels like she's winning, doesn't it? Every time she ignores your boundaries, every time she gets away with something – it feels like she’s winning and you're losing. But what if that idea of winning versus losing is keeping you trapped in her game? The problem is that you're so focused on not letting her "get away with" it that you're accidentally sacrificing the very things you're trying to protect – your peace, your relationship, your goals, and your family's happiness. Because every ti...

She's at family gatherings. His mum still helps her out. His sister invites her to birthday parties. And you're left wondering – why does she get to stay in, while you feel like the outsider? In this episode, I reveal why the high conflict ex still clings to his family and the manipulation tactics she uses to stay there. You'll learn why his family allows it, and some practical ways to reduce what she gets out of it so she might give up and let go. More importantly, I talk about w...

You’re stressed, reactive, angry – you don't recognise yourself anymore. And you think, "She's turning me into someone I'm not." But here's the truth – she's not turning you into anything. She’s just revealing parts of you that you didn't know were there. And that's the most powerful thing you could discover. Because when you know that about yourself, you have an opportunity to build capabilities you'd never develop otherwise. And when you learn how to handle her at her worst and still ...

You start to mention weekend plans to the kids, but you stop yourself mid-sentence. Because you know what happens next – within 24 hours, she'll know. She'll have something to say about it, or she'll try to ruin it entirely. This episode tackles one of the most frustrating parts of high conflict co-parenting – when everything you say or do gets reported back to the high conflict ex. You'll learn why she uses the kids as spies, how to protect your privacy and plans without shutting them ...

Ever feel like you're losing your mind trying to understand why she acts the way she does? In this episode, I break down the 5 personality patterns commonly found in high conflict people. By the end, you might finally have an explanation for behaviours that have been driving you crazy. I'll walk you through the narcissistic pattern (the 'I'm superior, you're nothing' type), the borderline pattern (the 'love you, hate you' type), the antisocial pattern (the cruel con artist), the paranoid patt...

Another "emergency" text at 9 PM. Another crisis that somehow requires immediate attention. You're exhausted from fighting with her about everything she throws at you. Today, I'm breaking down exactly how to choose your battles with a high conflict ex without burning yourself out in the process. You'll discover why she creates endless conflicts, and learn my four-question framework that takes the guesswork out of when to respond and when to let it go. No more spending hours agonising over the...

You rehearse the perfect request – polite, reasonable, with plenty of notice. But you already know what's coming. The automatic "no" from the high conflict ex. If you've been there, you'll know that crushing frustration of trying to negotiate with someone who seems to enjoy refusing everything. And every time she refuses something reasonable that would actually benefit the kids, you feel that anger building. Why does it have to be this hard? In today's episode, I'm revealing a five-part appro...

You're constantly frustrated. She won't respect boundaries. He won't stand up to her. Nobody does what they should do, and you're stuck feeling angry, disappointed, and resentful about it all. In this episode, I reveal the surprising reason you feel so frustrated – and it's not what you think. While you've been focused on the ex's toxic behaviour, there's something else quietly stealing your peace. It’s your "Manual” – a set of unwritten rules you have about how everyone should behave s...

She's nice to you, then sends a toxic text. You're wondering – is the ex really high conflict? Maybe she just had a bad day... maybe you're imagining things... maybe you're the problem? This episode cuts through the confusion with a clear way to help you recognise if she’s truly high conflict, or if she’s just difficult. I'll walk you through real scenarios that reveal the patterns high conflict people follow, even when they seem reasonable on the surface. You'll discover why this distinction...

It's 2 AM and you're lying there, running through every terrible thing she could do if you upset her. False allegations. Parental alienation. Another court battle you can't afford. So you edit each text three times before sending. You bite your tongue when she makes another ridiculous demand. You give in. Again. Because the fear of what she might do feels scarier than just putting up with her current toxic behaviour. Even though the exhaustion of constantly managing her is crushing you. But w...

What do you do when your stepchild repeats something cruel – and you know it came straight from her? This episode is your guide to one of the most painful things stepmum's face – when the high conflict ex plants toxic messages in the kids’ minds and tries to turn them against you. I’ll walk you through exactly how to respond without throwing the kids in the middle or fuelling more conflict. You’ll learn how to support them through the confusion and protect your relationship with them. Most im...