True intimacy is hard to find and build upon, especially when our own identity starts to erode. Licensed Clinical Social Worker Kristen Searcey shares her female-pronged cycle of abuse in this Part 2 Episode. The episode is designed to help you see behaviors in yourself and others and seek support from a mental health specialist.
Kristen Searcy is an EMDRIA certified EMDR Trauma Therapist and the founder of A Desert In Bloom Therapy in Phoenix. She specializes in helping women heal from complex trauma, domestic violence and eating disorders, blending clinical expertise with an artist's soul. Her work guides women toward the freedom to live fully in the present and to sing their own heart song again.
IF you or someone you know is not doing okay call or text 988
for mental health support and crises.
Other Support links
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
Link to apply for an OOP (order of protection) in Maricopa county
General Information https://superiorcourt.maricopa.gov/llrc/orders-of-protection/
Link to apply (you must create a login on AZ Point to file) https://azpoint.azcourts.gov/
Domestic Violence Shelter (one main screener for all DC shelters in AZ)DV STOPhttps://turnanewleaf.org/services/sexual-and-domestic-violence-services/dvstop/
Arizona Address Confidentiality Program Applicationhttps://azsos.gov/services/address-confidentiality-program/application-assistants
Domestic Violence Legal Assistance Project https://www.azbf.org/domestic-violence-legal-assistance-project
Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship—romantic, friendship, or even professional—where you keep giving, hoping they’ll change, and wondering why you feel so responsible for their healing?
This appears with my clients -alot. We are stuck in the old abandonment story or wound. I actuallyt just realized I do this as well. I behave as if I am going to be abandoned. I strive and push myself so that people I love do not get a chance or idea of leaving me.
The Abandonment wound is real. We can reflect and redirect our choices from it!
Comment, Like or Share this episode if it was supportive.
The old narratives about abuse don’t always fit what we see today.
This week, I’m joined by Kristen Searcy, whose revolutionary Model of Abuse challenges everything we think we know about violence and control. We’re talking about how real change begins when we focus on consistent behaviors, not clinical labels.
Kristen Searcy is an EMDRIA certified EMDR Trauma Therapist and the founder of A Desert In Bloom Therapy in Phoenix. She specializes in helping women heal from complex trauma, domestic violence and eating disorders, blending clinical expertise with an artist's soul. Her work guides women toward the freedom to live fully in the present and to sing their own heart song again.
Welcome to Season 4 of the Avoidance and Control podcast.
Enjoy this warm-up episode to get your brain thinking opposite of the "fix it Model"
Humans don't need to be "fixed", we need logic, inner knowing, and regulation.
In This Episode:
- 3 tips for stepping out of the Old story (trauma/Abuse/ etc)
- Components of Salutogenics (moving toward Health)
- Reduce the stigma that you are the only one going through this..
Harm, abuse and control-- we've all experienced it in different ways. Book an Introduction call or sample other resources below
How do you feel about diagnoses—do they help you understand yourself or make you feel stuck? In this powerful finale, Annamarie Green explores why true healing starts with your energy, not just a label. If you’ve ever felt like there’s more to healing than managing symptoms, this one’s for you.
In This Episode:
Annamarie Resources:
You know those moments in life when everything feels like it's crumbling—finances, emotions, even your sense of self? I've been there. And so has my dear friend, former coaching client, and now incredible somatic breathwork practitioner, Janet Bonner West.
Janet went from feeling broke, stuck, and hiding from her truth to discovering the power of breathwork—a practice that completely transformed her emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. And now? She’s bringing that same healing energy to The Resilience Tour Retreat as one of our breathwork facilitators!
In This Episode:
Janet Bonner West, a Somatic Breathwork Practitioner and Health Coach, combines 27 years of experience as a physician assistant with her expertise in behavioral health. After her own journey through trauma and chronic pain, she now helps clients restore balance and well-being through breathwork and restorative health coaching. Janet believes in the power of self-healing and empowers individuals to reconnect with their innate intelligence.
Mental Health Resources:
Moniques Episode Mentions:
YouTube Video - Meet The Resilience Tour Founders
What if your quality of life starts with what's on your plate? While those with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) have protective skills, but this episode reminds us that the first step in standing up for your health is making sure you have a good quality of life.
In This Episode:
Christina Lombardo is a Trauma Informed Certified Holistic Nutritionist and Evox Practitioner specializing in trauma and substance use recovery. She has a Bachelors Degree from Northern Arizona University, is certified in sports nutrition, has continuing education in nervous system practices, ACES training, and other wellness practices. She sees individual clients and teaches classes to teenagers and adults about nutrition and wellness practices for sustainable, yet flexible, everyday living.
Resources from this Episode:
Belief Exercise Episode (Journal with Monique)
Moniques Links
Details on Resilience Tour Retreat 2025
"Have you ever felt a sudden shift in your mood, an unexpected wave of frustration, sadness, or anxiety—but couldn’t quite understand why?
In this episode:
Brittany Smith is a Holistic Aesthetic Nurse and Certified Coach who blends nursing expertise with wellness coaching to help with challenges related to aging. At Method Aesthetics, she offers services like skincare treatments, injectables, and vitamin infusions to boost vitality and highlight natural beauty. Through her holistic practice, BSI Wellness, Brittany helps clients build lasting wellness routines focusing on prevention. She is also passionate about community and works with other holistic providers while hosting educational events to encourage healthier lifestyles.
Links:
Resilience Tour Ticket Details
The Relationship Bridge: How to Make Deeper Connections and Grow Healthy Relationships
Resilience Tour Webinar-- How We Help
Moniques Links:
I get so incredibly excited to help people on consultation calls-- let this episode help you make a decision.
also DM me or leave a comment or Review if you'd like to get an episode on How to Interview your Helper.
Monique Gomez is a Trauma and Resilience Life Coach, former Mental Health Therapist, Reiki Master, and Licensed Massage Therapist with a Master's degree is Social Work. Monique specializes in working with individuals who often feel misunderstood or unheard, tend to prioritize others' needs over their own, or overwork due to feelings of unworthiness.
Clients seeking help are open to understanding their nervous system and learning to collaborate with it rather than working against it. This includes coping with stress, trauma, and life challenges, as well as building resilience for the future.
Book a Gifted Consultation Call
Not The Chacla: How Awareness of Our History and Trauma Create Compassion to Rewrite Our Future
Resources:
Put local Non Emergency phone numbers in your phone
National Help Hotline is 988 (suicide and crisis Hotline-- call or TEXT)
Another Throwback Tuesday from Season 1: What is. Trauma?
while so many Pop Psych Influencers and plain old Tik Tokers like to explain what they believe to be trauma and what is not trauma, this episode breaks down the Truth.
If this episode Resonates I'd love for you to check out our Upcoming Resilience Tour Retreat in April 2025; what I'd like to call a Heal-Cation (especially if you get the overnight tickets)
If you are curious about how I work with people in Trauma/ Significant Histories-- Book a call below
Are your relationships helping you thrive, or are they quietly draining your energy?
In This Episode:
As a Holistic Aesthetic Nurse and Certified Coach, I combine traditional nursing expertise with wellness coaching to address aging-related challenges. At Method Aesthetics, I provide onsite services like skincare treatments, injectables, and vitamin infusions to enhance vitality and natural beauty. Through my holistic practice, BSI Wellness, I empower clients to create sustainable wellness routines emphasizing preventative care. Passionate about community building, I collaborate with holistic providers and host educational events to inspire healthier lifestyles.
Brittany Smith Links:
Resources Mentioned in Episode:
Have you felt like you are a victim of a Narcissist or a person who is crazy selfish?
This episode has been a long time coming, as these are common questions and responses I speak to my clients about. Majority of my clients who want to get out of these old patterns and stories are people pleasers.
In the Episode:
Moniques Links:
Book a Gifted Consultation for Self Compassion
Other Related Episodes:
Avoidant Attachment with Allie Andrews
Insecure Attachment with Allie Andrews
Have you ever felt like you're stuck in doing, ignoring your pain just to make it through the day?
In this episode we'll dive into the survival mode that keeps us resisting pain and grief.
Andrea is the founder of The Grief Nook, a comfortable space to creatively grieve in community. Through her workshops, support groups, speaking events, and individual support, she helps grievers discover ways to process and express their grief through creativity, connection, and tradition. Her guidance as a Certified Grief Educator and Trauma & Resilience Coach brings them closer to their desires and goals through the power of their own innate abilities.
In This Episode:
Andreas Links:
Moniques Links:
Resilience Tour Retreat and Resources
Gifted Consultation with Monique
Winter Skin, super dry? We chat with Brittny Owner of Trades of Brit to discuss nature, family and faith.
In This Episode:
Brittny owns Trades of Brit, a natural skincare company, rooted in nature and perfected in science. She has her masters in Organic Chemistry and even has an internship with Loreal USA. Brittny is a wife and mother to 5 beautiful kids with 2 sets of twins. She loves all things health, fitness and traveling. She started Trades of Brit out of her need to help heal her daughter's eczema and her family's dry skin.
Moniques Links
Sometimes we let our impulsive nature push us further away from our goals. Quick reactions we have with our money, our time or even the tasks we wish to complete.
Dr. Veronica Schiltz is a mama of two kids under three, a wife, a Christ follower and a licensed chiropractor and certified health coach passionately focused on the nervous system. She takes a holistic approach to both coaching and chiropractic that helps you uncover mindset blocks, handle physical disconnections in the brain and body, and habitual patterns that may be holding you back so you can live fulfilled in your health, home, and business.
Dr. Veronica and I spoke on:
Veronicas Links:
Peaceful and Profitable CEO Systems Program
Moniques Links:
Do you have ADHD and tired of the symptoms? Or do you want to learn how to adapt when Ego gets in the way? In this episode, we chat about Brain Balancing with Neurofeedback then a well-executed tangent on the following:
Knowing Yourself and Communicating Clearly: Understand who you are, speak honestly, and make choices that match your values. Recognize how your thoughts, feelings, and past experiences shape your reactions.
Grow Through Challenges: As part of personal growth, learn to handle ego struggles, adapt when they get in the way, and face failure with confidence.
Mercedes Collins is an extra corporate girlie who left the 9-5 to start her own business and create more freedom with her time to spend with her family and 2 young kids. She’s the owner of Neurogen Brain Balancing East Valley, with offers a medication free alternative for ADHD, migraines and common sleep concerns. She believes emotional wellness for kids starts with parents having a regulated nervous system, so she loves working with moms in this area of life!
Mercedes Links:
Neurogen Brain Balance Website
Neurogen Brain Balance East Valley Instagram
Apple Podcasts: The Abundance Generators Podcast
Moniques Links:
Resilience Tour Retreat April 2025
Building Regulation Hybrid (enrollment ends 12/22/24)
Have you been called a People Pleaser? If you often put others' needs before your own, then you might be in this natural Nervous System Reaction.
In This Episode:
Allie helps individuals and couples have better sex and feel happier and more secure in themselves and their relationships. Allie is a Certified Somatica® Sex and Relationship Coach, Certified Yoga Teacher and Certified Holistic Health Coach with her Master’s in Education.
Allies Links
Moniques Links
Do you ever feel like you are Self-sabotaging your Success?
In all areas of life, work, or business, our Subconscious Mind can interfere with our wants. Natalie and I went deep into her recent battle with Self Sabotage.
Natalie is a Board Accredited and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, EFT Tapping Practitioner, NLP Practitioner & Certified Life + Success Coach. She's been called the "Mindset Whisperer" by her clients. She's kind of like if your business strategy coach + your mindset/embodiment coach had a baby! Natalie is the best of both worlds. Her purpose in life is to help women wake up to their potential, make friends with their ambition, embrace their superpowers and achieve success without sacrificing their joy & wellbeing.
Natlaies Links:
Free Discover Your Sales Superpower
The Embodied Entrepreneur Podcast
Resources From The Episode:
Belief Exercise Podcast Episode
Moniques Links:
Why does authenticity feel so rare in a world full of curated images and perfected profiles?
In this episode my new friend Niko gets vulnerable with me as we discuss topics like:
You will explore how staying true to yourself can transform your connections, shape your brand, and even elevate your spiritual life.
Niko Arapkiles is the host of the Just Grow Podcast and CEO of Just Grow Visions Through his communities & live events he helps entrepreneurs build an authentic personal brand using the “woo+do” framework so they can build a profitable life & business.
Nikos Links:
LinkTree (Events, Podcast and Programs)
Moniques Resources:
Social Resilience Mastery Class 11/12
Navigating Cycles of Hurt (Avoidance & Control Episode)
Starting your healing journey can feel overwhelming, but with guidance from The Shakti Coach’s first three steps, you'll have a clear path to begin transforming your mental and emotional well-being.
In This Episode:
Tish, known as The Shakti Coach, is a passionate advocate for personal empowerment and inner transformation. With years of experience in the self-development space, she specializes in helping women around the world overcome limiting beliefs, boost self-worth, and ignite their inner fire. Through her transformative programs, inspiring content, and supportive community, Tish empowers individuals to unlock their full potential and lead fulfilling lives.
Resources:
National Hotline for Mental Health Support Call/Text
988
The Mental Health Hotline at 866-903-3787 can answer your questions confidentially and free of charge.
Moniques Tips
1) Put your local Non Emergency Numbers into your phone for safe keeping, and easy access.
2) set two trusted friends/loved ones in speed dial for 7 minute call of listening.
Tish's Links:
Break Free and Ignite Masterclass
Moniques Links: